November rad girls check in here!!

LMJP

Dear Kiwikan - absolutely right. Not everyone has an easy time during radiation. We each have a unique body and expression of treatment effects - and deserve to be treated as such, not as outlier statistics ignored by researchers. They may not include us in reports, but we are there, human, and in need of a different and personalised approach. Have made appointment to see a consultant oologist at another hospital, amd supported by my physician and pain specialist (who put me back together after Taxtotere problems in chemo). My surgeon has tonight come to the party (doubtless fearing loss of patient), and said the new doc will look at why my symptoms have arisen - two possibilities are prior very low immune system after decade of undiagnosed/untreated MFS, , compounded by surgery and adverse chemo side effx lowering it furtherand therefore an overreaction/protection from my body. Second, a gene that makes me basically unable to tolerate radiation (as suggested last week by my radiorapher - if she knew about it, how come her boss dimissed me out of hand?!) Wll keep we "weirdos" informed. Breathe in faith and breathe out fear!

delorisann

Hi all, I go for my first visit to get ready for my radiation. I went thru it twice before, once in 1990 and again in 2000. I bet there have been lots of changes since then. I hope all goes well for us all. I am having radiation on my spine first as I am in awful pain. I have been in pain for four months and they think this will releave most of the pain. I am still waing to have test done to see where the primary cancer is , either breast of lung but the doctor seems to think since I have had breast cancer twice before that it is back in the breast but will have test done as soon as insurance approves them. Good Luck to you all

garnetann

Hi all

#13 down, 20 to go.  So far, nothing major, just tired and sleeping really good in the evening. My arm aches a little, but not too bad.  Still putting on a lot of aloe and sween cream and no skin reactions at all. 

Hang in there all, the end is near. 

PSK07

Gosh, all of you have gone through so much; I feel like such a wimp!  Be that as it may, every case is individual...we are not numbers or statistics.  We each have to get through our own trials and tribulations on this journey. The 'only rads' is something that I've used on myself and I have to get over it.

How do I tell the difference between my normal exhaustion and the SE of fatigue?  How do I convince my husband that it isn't my normal?  I think because it is 'just rads' and there aren't any outward signs, it's easy for me and my near and dear ones to discount any perceived difficulty. Blah. Maybe my doctor will increase my anti-depression med dosage.

Connie - good luck to you.  Twice last week the techs were waiting for me to show up. In and out in less than 20 minutes.

Ruth - my mom developed Type 2 diabetes after BC. She has lymphedema as well and worries constantly about developing further circulation problems.  She's sure it's all tied up together.

Psyching myself up for week 2.

take care, all.

conniehar

Well, 2 down now - 28 more to go!  Same situtation as yesterday - in and out in less than 10 minutes!  I'm actually worried that I might forget to go one day because this is leaving such a non-impression on me.  I'm sure that will catch up with me when I start to get side effects.   Met with the nurse today and she didn't recommend any specific creams - just anything without fragrance.  She also said no need to put anything on until it starts looking pink or dry.  Did any of you do this or did you start putting stuff on right away?

So sorry to those of you having coughing issues.  I hope you are able to figure out what is going on.

Have a great day everyone!!

labhusky

I start for real a week from today.  From what I have read, I think its a good idea to use cream right away.  This week, Im going to cream more also.  Im using "Jeans Cream".  A friend of mine this weekend told me too that Lavender oil is good for burns.  I got some at whole foods this weekend and will try it.  Im going to use that right after my 1st treatment then put the other cream on too, because its used in conjunction with the cream.

This morning I went I guess for the "drill".  They still took alot of xrays and stuff.  Here I thought Id be in and out in a few.  Nope.

I guess its because Im on the left hand side.  Guess that takes longer to get tweaked.  That would make sense.

sedosa

Hi all,

responding to LMJP and Kiwikan. I too get angry with my rad onc. I have found that he says nothing is related to radiation treatments...it is all due to my surgery or chemo. Funny. A dry cough is a normal side effect of rad treatment. I have type 2 diabetes and had to go on insulin for a time during chemo. My blood pressure is sky rocketing. I think part of it is being pissed at the doc. LMJP you are lucky you can choose another doc. The nearest one i can choose is 120 miles away. I am just trying to stick it out and keeping great notes on his treatment (or lack of). Saw him today after telling and showing the nurse all the lesions i have developed. He came in asked if I was using the cream I said yes, he said, ok you can go. I asked if he wasn't even going to look at the site. He said ok, looked and said everything was fine. What a joke. Do you think they have to go to jerk school to become a rad onc? 20 more treatments!

Steffi

Clessie

Labhusky please check with your onc. before you use any fragant lotions, and Connie my onc. had me using the aloe right after my first treatment, 3 times a day and he said to use it 3 times a day even on my off days, I believe thats why after 14 treatments I`m still not red, it sure wouldn`t hurt to go ahead and get the 100% aloe vera and start using it now, only thing is don`t use it 2 hrs. before treatment, I have my alarm set so I can rub down 2 hrs before and use right after than again before bedtime.

arby

Hi Pam, I read with interest your note and can confirm that the fatigue is VERY REAL.  I've been an energizer bunny type, up early and always ready for the day.  I still am....but by noon I need a little nap,  then back to more activity and for sure count me in on a hr and a half snooze before 5 pm if I have anything in the evening to go to, like a 4 hr work shift as a CNA.   Sleep or very quiet rest is my way of co-operating with my body as it fights to rebuild the good cells hurt by the rads.  It can totally concentrate on healing if I'm resting.  So we all owe it to this process to go lie down and let the body heal.  I also notice I NEED protein and feel faint if I have a bagel and soup for lunch with no measurable protein.  SO I go for snacking on turkey lunch meat, hard boiled eggs or cottage cheese whenever the faint feelings hit.  So I do think there are visible signs to us in this fight; we just have to quickly respond and identify OUR need and give it the attention warranted regardless of how it looks to outsiders.  We are troopers and copers and I think its great when we can sail right thru these 35 treatments quietly adjusting our routines and faithfully slathering on ani-itch cream!  15 down, 20 to go!

arby

Dear Ruth and anyone else out there with a "new" cough.  My Dr said to expect it since I've acquired a dry cough in the past 72 hrs.  He just said to use an over the counter Robitussm syrup but I told him I'll just sip water because meds just set me up for other problems like the runs , or sleeplessness etc.  He was ok with that.  Can't believe how honest my Dr is compared to many of your reports on this thread.  A cough and rads go together, almost as common as red itchy skin.  He also said that lots of people in treatment develop bleeding ulcers from all the stress. so gals,  let's keep letting it out here, the anger, frustration and disappointments; not to mention the scariness of cancer, and the changes it brings plus all the new things we have to do to accomodate ourselves in treatment mode.  This writing is therapeutic!!!Our prayers and best wishes are super supportive.  Thanks for being there. arby

2dogsnburg

Arby thanks, that was a great post.Bleeding ulcers!!!Thank goodness for yoga.

I'm on #15 today Wa hoo! After #16 a 4 day break....life is good. 

Good Hopes,

 Terry 

garnetann

Hi all

Home from #14 and doing well. My onc also said to get plenty of protein in my diet in addition to not losing any weight.  Those two things will help combat the fatigue.  I go for my second simulation tommorow after my tx for the boosters.  He said the location of my tumor bed means I should not have any extra problems from skin irritations since most skin irritations are under the arm and at the underwire area and my boosters will be right on top.  He said the skin looked good, just a little tender around my SN scar.  I can appreciate the stress that accompanies this.  I went home early on Friday not feeling really good and did not kick it until yesterday. I am feeling pretty fine today, just getting tired of doctors and hospitals. 

dink

Hi you all,

I'm down #9 and things are going pretty good.  I'm still up half the night.  Last Thursday, I notice some blister under my fingertips - they are leaking or anything.  I also noticed some redness and pain under my tongue.  I have a rash on my sternum area that extends under and over some of the breast area that is close to the sternum.  My rad onc. said none of this could possibly related to the radiation and oh by the way the "new lump palpated in my left breast can't be cancerous in any way because I'm getting radiation there."  It's kind of scary to be getting lumps, bumps, and pain where you shouldn't.  I am now taking hydrocortizone for the rash and my family doctor believes the other is viral.  Today I got a little tired - 1st time in seven days to be tired.  I think I'm just abnormal because if anything will happen it will to me.

BrendaK

Labhusky,

Looks like I will be starting rads on the same day you are.  I'm having 33 total, 28 to whole left breast, 5 to tumor site.  Went yesterday to finish getting my tats, I have 7.  I always wanted to get a tatoo and I tried to get roses, but they only gave me dots.  Oh well.  Go tomorrow for last set up/dry run.  Hope things go well for us.  I agree that you should check with doc before you use any fragrant creams/lotions.

Hugs and prayers to all of us.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Brenda

nevaeh

I had my first radiation treatment today. I found myself looking at the sign on the building that said "CANCER" in big letters and wishing they (whoever "they" are) would have been more sensitive.  It just seems so hard to enter those doors. 

Then I think, hmnn, I need to be grateful for this opportunity.  Many women don't have the resources like this to help them fight.  Honestly, I try to hang on to that and be altruistic, but find myself just thinking about myself (how selfish is that!)

I started to cry today on that table.  I felt so vunerable.  Ya know, it hurt just slightly too (was that my imagination or just one of those nerve zingers I get).

I came home, washed my hands thoroughly and put the aloe all over inside that black square they drew on me.  Looked at that poor little boobie and asked "why am I trying to save you?  Your're about half as big as the other one with a nice bright red scar and no feeling?

Guess you can tell.  I'm not in a very good mood.  I want to cry and scream and somehow won't let myself except here.  Here, I know you understand.

Ruth wrote:  "I had a melt down this afternoon.  I've been so grateful that I didn't have to have chemo that I managed to diminish the magnitude of having radiation.  Some days I'm stronger than others.  I accept that this will be the case for a period of time.  I keep telling myself that I will have all of this behind me by the end of 2007.  Then I read a comment by someone who was diagnosed years ago - and they are still dealing with fears.  I guess it is all a matter of "one day at a time". 

Ruth, you said it for me.  I am right there with you.  Let's do this together - one day at a time.

sedosa

evening all,

Nevaeh, I agree with the great big CANCER on the building. Today was the first time (#16) that i just plain didn't want to go for treatment. I have felt pain since the very first treatment. Yesterday it was rough. However, today wasn't too bad. Don't know why....prabably all those prayers out there. I am looking forward to my time off. After tomorrow i have a four day break. My skin is really begging for it.

Wish all of you well. this is a great place to come and gripe and gain hope from others. Thanks

Steffi

nevaeh

Thanks.  So often in this journey, I feel like such a wuss (sp?) just asked my husband how to spell "wuss" and he spelled out the letters of my name - thanks a lot :grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Steffi, I wish and pray for you for peace and comfort during our respite.  I give thanks you are here today for me.  I am here for you.

PSK07

Nevaeh, never mind how to spell 'wuss', look it up in the dictionary & my photo is right there next to the word.

Just finished #7. It feels like I'm headed down a dark hole.  Left work early - snippy with everyone & felt like crawling under my desk to hide.  As it was, I got home, fell asleep & woke up 15 minutes before my appt.  Doctor day, and he says he's surprised at that and I should just sail through rads, that it may stabilize and I will do just fine. Well, it sure doesn't seem that way. I fought back tears the whole way home.

I'm off the remainder of this week, and I'm going to do my best to get through next week.  I've hit a wall, though and I'm not too sure how much longer everything can be held together.

Dammit, it's not supposed to be like this. Pity, party of one. your table is ready.

Otherwise, my skin is doing ok, the treatments themselves are just fine, and the people are wonderful.

Thanks, arby, for your words of encouragement & wisdom. Will focus on protein the next couple of days and see if that makes a difference.

take care. 

Clessie

I had #15 today and have had a sore throat for a couple of days, this is the 2nd one since starting rads, had asked the onc. nurse about it last time and she said that its possible its from the rads, but when I mentioned it to the Dr. he said he believed it was viral, not sure what to think but find Drs. just kind of shove these systoms we feel under the rug and try to blame other reason for our discomfort, if its just temporary I can live with it as I`m almost halfway thru.

I got a tickle  and had a coughing spell in rads this morning so hope I`m not getting the "cough".

katoMato

Nevaeh - I read your husband's spelling assistance to my dh, and we both laughed.

#17 of 33 - HALFWAY DONE. (Click of heels, high in the air.) 

My rash has improved a LOT...i think it's because i stopped using ANYTHING on it and it finally dried up. It's not itchy anymore - i'm afraid to start using anything again. The dr last Sunday (make-up day for Thanksgiving long weekend) said it looked surprisingly good..."what are you using on it?"...um. nothing. I forget to. I treat it like I do a heat rash. Shower 2 x a day, keep it clean and dry and aired out. "Well, keep doing whatever you're doing, it looks great."

The cough remains. Just want to be done with this before any more damage to this poor body happens.

Gotta go to bed - I just had that quick wave of nausea that tells me I'm overdoing it...That's how I know.

labhusky

Hi BrendaK

What you are getting sounds pretty close to mine too.  I think they said Id be finished Jan 11th.  I got 4 tattoos; reminds me of a compass.  Wow, you got 7 tattoos?  That is alot.  I joke around about mine saying that I will connect the dots  when all of this is over, I will have a big flower tattooed encompassing the dots.  Maybe even just wearing low cut blouses at work afterward (told my buddies at work, they pleaded, No NO).  A friend of mine had the same idea when she went thru this 4 years ago.  No, she didnt go thru with the flower part.  I wont either but it makes it easier to joke about it.  Everytime I went for my radiology appts after the tattoos, they still would use a highlighter to mark them so they could measure and take xrays of whatever.  It will be interesting to see if they do that on my very first zap.

kiwikan

I don't think the picture will show.  If is does - great.  If it doesn't the text under tells the tale.  Get a chuckle - I did!

Does this sum up MY day? 

I meet with the rad onc tomorrow (Wed) since we all get a "holiday"on Thursday.  I will once again tell him of my cough and he will once again tell me it's not the TX's.  It's way too early to have that kind of SE.  Also, the veins all over my body especially palms of my hands and fingers have risen to the surface.  Looks like someone threw a blue paint ball at me.  It seems to me that I'm experiencing SE's that weren't to hit for a long time from now or ever.  I completed #7 this morning.  A woman I meet in the gown area will be done tomorrow.  She looks like she's been to hell and back.  I've gone to hell but haven't come back yet.  I've had little weird blisters in my mouth, too.  I'm going to stop looking and my body.  I did have a really lovely healing touch session this afternoon.  It's not massage - it's more like energy filled hands waving over one's body.  Our "intention" for the session was to visualize the rad zap and encourage the killing of the cancer cell monsters.  Then to release the toxin into the air.  Sounds cosmic, but it was lovely.  My right breast is complaining.  It does not like the treatment.  I'm getting cranky (more so) too.  I'm often less than tolerant with folks that I think are just plain stupid.  There is an abundance of them.  I recently saw a bumber sticker that said, "Stupid should hurt!"  I came to a decision today.  I'm going on a mission.  I'm going to work at increasing awareness of Raditiation Therapy.  Just in the short time I've experienced the topic I find there is a minimalization of this treatment (compared to chemo).  Let us all dealing with BC in whatever form ,"share not compare" the experience.  Now to end with a bit 'o humor:  The weather here where I live has now gotten chilly in the mornings.  My hands get cold even when wearing my gloves.  Since my breast is so full of heat I'm going to use it as a hand warmer.  I might be able to earn a $ or 2 by offering its service at the ski park!  Here's to being in a grateful place and having peace of mind.  Ruth

LisaKJ

Hi all,

I celebrated the half-way mark yesterday with a quiet little cheer on the zapping table.  I'm getting used to the rosy skin and tanned armpit, but will definitely be glad when this is finished.  All I seem to do now is nap or dream about it!  Maybe a nice chunk of protein is what I need.

I wish we all had kind, understanding, personable rad oncs.  I came to the conclusion when my husband went through his cancer treatments that the regular oncologists are the touchy-feely ones, and the folks in radiology are the ones who prefer to work with numbers.  I'm seeing pretty much the same thing now that I'm going through the process (different hospital, different country).  I'm not particularly annoyed by this, knowing that I have a nice, understanding group of people to visit (hey, that's you all!) when I need some empathy. 

I appreciate the humor, Ruth!  I just told my husband to forget about the using the microwave for dinner and just hold the lasagne up to my breast.  Ding!  Done in five!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.  It's my favorite holiday because it's something that people of all faiths celebrate.  Most of you in the States probably have the day off, so enjoy it.  It's business as usual here in Belgium, so I need to figure out how to fit roasting the Butterball around my appointment.  Gee, maybe I could just tuck it in my shirt and give it a head start...

Lisa

2dogsnburg

Happy Thanksgiving to all you glow girls!

Try to have day a day of peace and set this all aside.

We truly do have much to be thankful for. 

        Love and Peace to you and yours,

                        Terry
 

 

2dogsnburg

oops. what can I say ,blame it on the rads!

nevaeh

Well, I didn't glow in the dark last night, but I dreamed all night about having to have radiation again and again (I call that a nightmare!)

Ruth, you wrote: "I'm going on a mission.  I'm going to work at increasing awareness of Raditiation Therapy".  I think that is a wonderful idea.  First, because for me information is power and second because everyone in my circle makes me feel like my breast cancer is over and I'm just having to go to these appointments.  Gotta tell ya the lack of compassion and understanding hurts (no, I don't want pity) and yes I want the blasted bc to be over, but it's not.

Anyway, maybe we could start a new thread on awareness:  for example is a known se "the veins all over my body especially palms of my hands and fingers have risen to the surface"?

My husband was reading an article in US News that radiation can affect the arteries that may be needed for bypass - does anyone know anything about that?

BrendaK

Hi Labhusky,

We make jokes about my tats too, might as well try and have some fun with it.  I feel like one of those crash dummies.  I have 3 tats to line me up with beams on the walls and ceiling, and the others I think are because they have to come at me from 2 different directions.  Yeh, these people like to draw on us.  Sounds like you get great support from your friends at work, I do to.  Its nice to have them around. 

I'm so happy for the girls that are at their halfway mark, that's really great, I can't wait until we are there.  I think I have been having anxiety attacks, my heart feels like it is racing and generally feels weird.  My family doc put me on xanax for during the day and Lexapro for during the night, I have also had bad, bad, bad insomnia and the Lexapro seems to help with that, even though it is a depression med.  My husband is totally against these drugs, but the way I figure it, if I need these drugs to help me get through, then I will take them.  This breast cancer, chemo and now radiation thing is starting to get the best of me.  thus far, I have been a positive person, still am, just have been down the past few days.  Having a couple days off work will help and also being around family and getting to eat all the great food.

Oh, BTW, my hair is starting to come back, we laugh b/c I have the 5 o'clock shadow on my head, my eyebrows are starting to come back too.  Are yours?

Talk to you later.  Best wishes to everyone here.  Hugs and prayers to everyone who is walking in our shoes.

Brenda

BrendaK

Labhusky,

PS:  I doubt I will beable to get back on until Tuesday, so hope all goes well for your first rad appt. 

Brenda

nevaeh

Brenda,

It's ok to take care of yourself (I mean the meds) and you have every right to be gentle with yourself. 

Sometimes I'm down too, it's only normal - gosh darn everyone has bad days even those without bc.  How can we expect more of ourselves than others when we've had to do the extra - ordinary to stay alive and well.

God Bless, Happy Turkey Day and enjoy the fiddles 

italianrose

I met with my radiation oncologist for my first consultation yesterday.  I go back on Friday for a mold to be made so I remain in the same spot during radiation.  Monday I get my tattoos and next Friday I have a simulation and start my rads on 12/3.  I was diagnosed with DCIS on 10/18 Stage 0; Grade II-III.  Surgery on 11/7 with clean margins.  I'm a little nervous about the rads.  How long before I feel totally exhausted after the rads?  Happy Thanksgiving to all!