positive thoughts please

avasmom

Coming up on a 6 month re-check from my last MRI that showed something "slightly" suspicious on my unaffected breast.  I have a MRI scheduled for Nov 2.   I really have not worried about it because I know that if it was a big area of concern they would have biopsied it 6 months ago.  A couple of weeks ago I started get pain in my affected breast next to the incision.  I now have a thickened area that was  not there before.  So....I'm in panic mode.  The rational part of my brain says everything is fine and I'm worrying for nothing.  But who listens to the rational part of their brain when they have an upcoming MRI?    After partial mast I was left with remaining ADH.  I don't talk about this to my family because I don't want to worry them over nothing.  I'm sure I'm overreacting....but that doesn't help me to calm my fears.  Wish I could fast forward 2 weeks and get this over with. 

Anonymous

Avasmom,

For those of us who have walked this path those fears are VERY REAL....I just had my first 6 month followups after IDC and they scared the crap out of me.....I had microcalcifications in the other side and had surgery last week to remove the area...pathology came back as microcalcifications with minor atypia cells...so as you see things can come back ok....I know the atypia cells were of some concern but the surgeon assured me that he removed a very wide margin and that the path report shows no further treatment needed....

The fear part of this entire thing as I found can be almost disabling...I had a hard time with just the thought of something being there in my mammo so had a couple of weeks of complete melt down...as with you I didnt talk to my family about it either...I told my two kids and my best friend...I didnt tell mom about it until the night before surgery.....I too didnt want to worry people needlessly and am so very thankful for these boards and the ladies here as they were my sanity through that rough 3 weeks....

Please know that my thoughts are with you and that I will pray that things are good for you...

Hugs

Jule

avasmom

Thank you Jule.  I'm sure it will be fine as well....but will be happy when the wait is over.  I honestly have not really worried for the past 6 months...just given it a thought or 2, but no major issue for me.  It's just since I started having this pain and noticed a difference in the feel of it.  My affected breast seems to always be changing since radiation though....so it's probably nothing.   Thank you for the words of encouragement.  I feel so much more at ease talking about my fears with ladies (like you) on this site who can understand them. 

Anonymous

Avasmom,

Its a long hard journey that we have walked and the waiting is always the worst part....

I notice that my radiationed breast seems to change more than the other as well but when I questioned this the Rad. Onco told me that it is because of the scar tissue that is being formed over time due to the rads and that it will continue to change for awhile...he also recommended that I continue doing the massage that I was taught in lympodemia clinic...said that it will help keep the scar tissue more plyable and soft.

it is easier to talk with someone who has experienced similar to what you have....

I hope your fears are a little less as the days go by but I know its hard and I want you to know that your not alone and your welcome to pm or continue to talk here if you'd like....

Hugs

Jule

avasmom

Had the re-check MRI today and having the dreaded worry that goes along with waiting for results.  All week I was not worried at all.  I went to have the MRI today and did fine....now it's time for bed and I just can't sleep.  I know it's more likely that it's nothing...but the what if's are keeping me from relaxing.  I can't stand this feeling!  I keep trying to tell myself that the techs were super nice and did not seem concerned after at all....but then they didn't say anything to me after my MRI that confirmed the first dx either.  I know there is no question in here...just venting and stressing.  Someone give me some meds!!  Ha.

Sadie-Rose

Hi Avasmom,

I just wanted to mention something I noticed as I went back to do MRIs, Pet scans, mammograms and more.  I would go into the office not feeling very much anxiety, but before I left or that night I would get very sad.  I realized that even when I could keep my mind calm all the old emotions were triggered again.  These were the same places I had gone when I was first diagnosed so the old anxiety would surface.  I've done a lot of research on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for adults abused as children.  Experts in the field talk about the body having memory.  So even if this is a new test for you, the idea of being screened again may trigger lots of emotions.  It helped me to know where these feelings were coming from.

Sadie

avasmom

Sadie- 

You are exactly right.  I think all of the old stress feelings of waiting for results came rushing back.  It helps to think about it in that way.  Gives some perspective.  I have not gotten the results yet, so I am assuming this is a good thing.  I called the other day and they said Tues or Wed, so today I should get the call.  I really think that if something showed up they would have called me already.  Thank you for responding to me. 

Member_of_the_Club

Oh i so know your pain. You must have had a birads 3 on your last mri. 98% of birads 3 turn out to be benign, that's why they don't biopsy them, they tell you to come back in 6 months. You have every reason to expect it will be fine.



I had my MRI this past Monday. It came back birads5 (!). Birads 5 means highly likely to be malignant. The stats are the flip of yours, over 95% of birads 5 are malignant. They did a biopsy within a few days and I turned out to be in the 5% -- benign.



but boy was it scary. I hope this doesn't sound obnoxious because I intend it to be comforting, but if I could have traded places with you a few days ago and gone from my birads 5 down to birads 3, well, at the time that would have seemed like another, more wonderful, place to be.