How did I miss it?

miss-di

Hx:  12/01 found lump while on vacation.

        Lumpectomy, micrometastisis to sentinel node only.

        2 rounds CEF, normal radiation routine.HER-,EST+,POG+.

        ALL testing for next 5 years, mammos, chest x-ray, blood

        tests, normal.

        07/07 found tiny black dot behind left knee, melanoma.

        Scheduled for wide excision of same and during pre-hosp

        exam, surgeon found 2.2cm lump under left collar bone.

        Yes, cancer again.  This time HER+,EST+,PROG+.

         PET scan showed numerous areas in chest, abdomen and 2

         spots on liver. (Melanoma not a problem.)

I had my first Tx's 8/29/07 of Herceptin and Faslodex. (Ouch)

Due again 9/19/07.

I am still in shock.  I never felt bad, still basically don't, just that annoying tiredness once in a while. Only time I felt really bad was after Tx on 8/29/07 for about 2 1/2 days.

I am having a problem with my family, they just will not allow me to talk about it as they also are still in shock and just can't handle the thought of loosing me. (I'm fighting that, staying here.)

I'm turning to this site for a little bit of help.  I walk around in a "shock/scared" mode, but find myself taking care of everyone else. (I am a nurse, so go figure.)

It is just so strange as I have watched myself and taken really good care of myself, and I missed it.

My Onc says it has been there at least a year. This is a new Onc, left small community health system and went to large Wisc. Hosp.

Just wondering if this happened to anyone else and how did you do?

Thank you so much for your time,

Di

May an angel watch over you.

       

Calico

Di,

I have no words of wisdom, I am just very sorry you have to do this again.

But reading through this wonderful forum will tell you what a great drug Herceptin is and what a blessing to now get it as a first line treatment.

I hope your family will see your need for communication. There is a seperate HER thread for extra help, maybe your family is interested too. They can get counseling as well.

In the meantime, post often, there are many wonderful ladies here to help out.

Statistics are overrated due to new medications approved and no newest data available. And who says, you will be on the "other" side of statistics anyway.

Here is to a long life and a successful Herceptin treatment.

God Bless

miss-di

Dear Calico,

Thank you for your kind words.  I read many posts yesterday and do feel somewhat better.

I am praying the Herceptin and Faslodex do the trick for a long time.

I'm still waiting for my first grandchild, gotta stay around for that!

Have a nice day.

Di

May an angel walk beside you.

Anonymous

Di...I too have no wise words and am so sorry that you're going another round with this beast. It does sound as though you blame yourself a little, though, and I want to encourage you to find peace in the knowedge that you really did do everything possible to prevent recurrance and it just wasn't enough. But you can certainly fight now, once again, with every ounce of strength you've got....and you can win. Please stick around and read about all of the successful battles our members have won. You're gonna see that first grandchild and many more! Just keep doing the deal. The family members you can't control, but you can control your own attitudes and actions. And we're here for the rest.

~Marin

miss-di

Thank you Marin for your kind words.  I think I am just a little hyper right now.  I get that way right before treatments. Sooner or later I will probably settle in a little better. I know I can't change anyone else, just trying to be at ease with myself, it will come.

May an angel walk beside you.

cp418

miss di - sending healing prayers your way that treatments go well. We are all in the same situation not knowing when cancer (any where) will come back.  I just wanted to post a site for another drug approved last year for HER2 as another option besides Herceptin. You have more options now and can discuss with your doctor. God Bless, Joann

 http://www.tykerb.com/

msannie57

Please don't blame yourself for this, and don't let anyone around you blame you either.  We would drive ourselves crazy if we went around poking and prodding ourselves all the time looking for lumps.  I hope your family comes around soon and lets you talk about it.  It's important for all of you to be on the same page on this--that you are fighting it and don't intend to give up easily.

jengrsq

Dear Di,

              My thoughts and prays are with you. You can do this...! God and all of us are here to support you and to pray for you.

Deb

     

jdash

i so understand how u feel !  i was dx 10 yrs ago stage 1  lump radiation (mammo had missed it - i felt it)  every yr mammo and sonogram - yr before clear mammo and sono for 10th yr= went for yearly check up and found out stage 3b- very large tumor in same breast and enlarged lymph nodes   i was SHOCKED!  how could that happen in a year !!!!!! had chemo then dbl mast and reconstruction and now NED and STILL in total shock   i ask myself all the time what else could i have done   i was told by doc when i had my lump that if i ever had another problem we would catch it early  since i was being watched so carefully  i still dont believe this could have happened

xoxoxox

dlsuniversal

I think what has happened to you is one of my greatest fears.  Time goes by and everything is going good.  Good mammo's, blood work - no problems, check-up's looking fine and then BAM, something like this happens.  My one year anniversary is December 21st.  

I will keep you in my prayers.  God is in control. Always.

Denice

jdash

thanks so much denice  i am doing great now!

xoxox