freaking out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

atlantagirl

Hey everyone.  I can't believe I am doing this but know one knows how I feel.  I found a lump one year ago when I was 30 weeks pregnant  with my 2nd child.  I never thought cancer at all and either did the doctors but the test showed different.  Anyway, I did my thing.  I delivered the baby at 32 wks.  she is doing GREAT and then I started my chemo followed by a double mastectomy and reconstruction.  I am lucky that no node involvement and my margins were clean. I also had a hysterectomy just for the hell of it.  All my tests are good, I feel great but I feel like I am freaking out and I keep thinking the cancer is going to come back some place else.  I think about it ALL the time.  HEEEELLLPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous

Hi Atlantagirl -  I think we all worry and have fears about the cancer coming back.  Are you freaking out so much that its' affecting your quality of life ?  Have you considered getting some counseling to talk about your fears ?  Are you taking meds for anxiety or depression ?   Do you participate in a support group? How long has it been since you finished active treatment ?  Are you on hormone therapy ? 

Hope you can find the support you need to help you -  I think about cancer alot -  but I wouldn't describe it as freaking out ...  

Doreen  

Elizabeth06

Atlanta,

I totally understand your "feeaking out description"...anyone with a diagnosis of breast cancer who does not "freak out" to some degree is someone counselors should be concerned about!

I remember waking up about 4 am for months and shaking at the thought "I've got breast cancer"......it took me awhile to get over this nightly ritual.

Dnicoletto

Hey Atlanta (I lived in Douglasville for a while)!!

Not to go all Dr. Phil on ya but I wonder if you went through all that stuff (and it is considerable) and didn't freak out then and it is just hitting you now?

No question that we all get scared and show it or not show it in our own way. Maybe once you process this (with us and others) you will be able to exhale and stop listening for the other shoe. It sounds to me like you did everything humanly possible to kick that BC butt. Relax and be proud of yourself. You kicked ass, girl!

~Dorie

theresa

Hi,

Try not to worried too much!!  I  just recently found out I had breast cancer  by mistake!!  It did not show up in any test or  Mri that  I had. It was  accidentally found  by a biopsy  for calcification's.  So, actually the way I feel that I was truly blessed.  I think we that have breast cancer our blessed because it was found and we did something about it.  I wake up each morning counting my lucky stars that I am alive. I had a bilateral mastectomy on Aug 30 and now have to go on chemo. I believe that everything happens for a reason and we that have breast cancer have to learn a lesson from this.  We our survivors so please do not be so hard on yourself!!  Try to go to a support group where others have had similar situations and you will feel more in control.  Good Luck!!   

atlantagirl

I love this site!!!  It is so nice to know we are not alone.  But why are we hearing so many young woman getting breast cancer? 

ADK

Wow, Atlantagirl - do you realize how incredibly much your body has been through in the last year?  Never mind the pregnancy alone, but to go through chemo and a hysterectomy within such a short time of having given birth, your hormones were totally flipped out!!!  Many of us believe that BC causes post traumatic stress disorder and that coupled with all you have been through, I would worry if you didn't have a reaction.  You can't go through life freaking out, but you need to react to all you have been through.  If you need help processing all of this (only a superwoman wouldn't need help), please don't hesitate to get it.

Gentle hugs to you.

RobinTN

atlanta girl

I am sure we all feel this way.Some more than others.but you have to find away to pull yo urself together and just live.

That is what i am trying to do for myself anyway.Have you talked to your onc?

Your babies need you and will need you so you must be strong.You dont have any other choice.

I was stage 4 at diagnosis with node and liver mets of ibc.did my treatment,had sugery rads you name it was ca free for 4 months last year then it came back in my liver worse than ever i was give just 2 months to live last aug if the ca didnt respond to chem.it started responding immediatly.then in may i was dx as NED.and still am.and am going to be.You will be to.If i can do it anyone can.

Take care and please keep in touch.there is strenght in numbers.

RobinWendy

Everybody who responded to your post already pretty much wrote what I would've written.  I call my freak outs the "opening of the black box".  When it opens, I found that I just have to let it be for an hour or a day, and then I can "stuff the fear back into the box" and it closes.  I have been Stage IV for just under 4 years and have been in and out of remission (NED).  I started a new medication 2 months ago and have another month to go before I get scanned.  There is no doubt that I will panic (or "scannic" which another poster on this board coined) about a week prior to the scan until I get the results.  It's just the way it goes.  But, right now you are doing well... don't forget to enjoy it.

Also, RobinTN ...  awesome story.  it's amazing that you can be deemed so close to death one minute, and cancer free the next!!  I'm so glad your most recent treatment kicked cancer -ss.

Robin 

bjw1950

I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. I wil have surgery on 10/2. First I will get the sentinel lymph node biopsy. My concern is how long will it be before I can return to school. I am going truly miss the students.My tumor is small 7 milimeters.

Nan72

Hi bjw,

 Welcome,

It depends on your surgery and treatment.   I would say it depends on what your doctors say and how you feel.  I was off for about six-eight weeks then when back part time at first. In my thoughts and prayers . Any questions feel free to PM  me. 

I had a bi lat mast. with expanders and recon.

livinginboji

Hi bjw1950,

What kind of cancer you have and if there is node involvement will be a deciding factor. I had a lumpectomy to remove a 2.5 cm IDC and removal of 2 nodes (negative) on a Thursday and went back to work on Monday. I had my first chemo on the 6th and worked the next day. If you have questions or need info I would like to suggest a book titled "Mayo Clinic: A Guide to Women's Cancers". It is excellent and has stories written by survivors.

Good luck to you!

Cheryll

Patrish

hi Atlantagirl, just my $.02...

after I finished treatment, I was an hysterical, panicked basket-case,  had these huge crying jags, I was so freaked out about leaving my 2 young kids without a mom, just thinking anything about cancer could set me off.  went and talked to a counselor, wish I could say that was the answer, but I felt like she had no clue.  after a few weeks, maybe a couple of months, things settled down for me.  maybe I got used to my new normal, or maybe I just could not sustain that level of panic long term, whatever, I started to feel better and better.  I hope you will, too.  kindly, Pat 

2curvy

BJW - I had a mastectomy and immediate expander placement on a Friday, and was feeling better by Tuesday.  My girlfriend had double mastectomy with no reconstruction and she was better the next day!  So, I bet you will go back quickly.  Also, my chemo therapy was extremely doable, with the exception of the 3rd and 4th day after treatment. 

delorisann

Hello all, I am new here but need to talk or I will go nuts. I had a bad fall 3 months ago and was hurting so bad , after a month went to the doctor and she wanted to run test to see if anything was broken, so afer a lot of  test it was determined that I had a compression fracture and inside the L3 Vertabrae sat this tumor, when the vertabrae fractured the tumor came out and is sittin my nerve. I have been in excruciating pain for three months. so now get results back and they say the cancer in my spine has spread from breast cancer so now I have an appoinment with an onocoligist tommorow and then back to the neurosurgeon on the 28th . I guess then they will figure out what to do with me, and I am scared to death. I did have breast cancer twice before in 1990 and again in 2000 but it never did spread.had radiation both times. I think I am so afraid of the unknown. I hear all the stories on how awful chemo is so I am so afraid of the thought. well I could go on and on, I just need some friends to talk to... Deloris

chemo072

Deloris - oh yikes, I'm so sorry.  There's a room here about mets and recurrence, and it seems like that'd be the place to post in order to get the most support.  I so hope things go better for you.