Mastectomy with no reconstruction

pinghanling

Hi,

I'm 37, live in South Africa and will go in on Friday for my bilateral mastectomy after a biopsy revealed a stage 1 tumour.

For various reasons I don't want reconstruction, but I'm afriad of the social consequences. I don't wear make-up or dresses and even now people often mistake me for a man unless I wear clothes that are rather tight fitting and obviously feminine.

My concern is that this 'mistake' is going to happen more frequently. In some cases it's not a problem, but when for example, I want to use a public toilet, it could become one.

Have any of you out there had this problem? How did you deal with it? I'm not butch at all BTW, although I am 'sporty' ;-)

Hope I'll be sporty again soon...

NoH8

I didn't have reconstruction with a bilateral and no one has EVER confused me with a man. I do dress rather femininely-- but people can tell the difference. I think that should be the least of your worries.
I was 37 when I was dx too. Good luck with your surgery! Keep us posted.

Mary-Lou

I had thought I wouldn't have reconstruction , my husband said he didn't mind at all one way or the other. "Now that is LOVE!"

But I found that my back hurt because my alignment was off. And the "rubber breast" has become a pain in the arse.

I want to wear any bra I want to, or none if I choose. So I see the PS on Monday at 3pm. Now I'm getting excited again about feeling sexy. If that's even possible after all this time feeling so ugly and cut up.

Best of luck

(((HUGS)))

Please stop by and see my page on MySpace. Link in in my siggy.... It is for our sisterhood only

sns

I had a bilateral and no reconstruction and haven't had that problem even though I usually go flat and wear tee shirts and jeans. I suspect people just don't pay that close attention. Even when bald and in a hat (and flat) I got very few second looks from people.

pinghanling

Thanks for all the replies. Going in tomorrow... quite nervous now. Will let you know how it turned out.

lv2cmp

I also opted for bi lateral with no reconstruction. I am not the feminine type at all. I do not look like a male but sadly sometimes people only look at boobs to decide if male or female. I personally dont care because I made the decision and I am proud of my decision. Boobs does not define who I am.

Best of luck to you.

amy

NoH8

Oh ping, I'll be thinking about you-- let us know how you make out when you get back from the hospital.

Methusala

hi,
I'm not gay (my sister is) and I didn't want any reconstruction, but even tho' my hubby said he didn't care, I really felt I owed it to him. Now ladies, don't take that as a downer, I'm a very empowered lady, trust me on that! I love him, and wanted to do it for him, ya know? My sister tends to look very masculine.. people in this world are too judgemental. I think I'll start using the men's room just to freak people out. hm.. it's a thought..
seriously, I hope all goes well for you. I sincerely mean that. hugs!

NoH8

I have this ongoing debate in my head going on about wanting to go topless to the beach (but not a topless beach). Why is it that women's breasts have to be covered but men's don't? Because I've had mine removed, does that mean I can also go bare chested or because I'm a woman does that mean I can't? It seems like a good sexual equality issue.