At my lowest point ever

hooptiedoo

Ever since I was diagnosed with breast cancer more than four years ago, my life has been on a downward spiral. After I went through more than a year in treatment (mastectomy, chemo, Tamoxifen, reconstruction, etc.) my husband became unable to work because of several health problems. He has applied for Social Security Disability, but has been turned down two times. He has an attorney who is sure he'll get it this time, but no one can tell us WHEN.

Currently, I am working two jobs and am gone from home 15 to 16 hours a day. I'm also gone about 8 hours on Saturday. I have to go off and leave my husband alone during all that time. Even working two jobs wasn't enough to replace his income and we ended up declaring bankruptcy. Now our house is about to go into foreclosure.

Somehow, I never saw my life turning out like THIS. I'm a college graduate, good at what I do (both jobs) and have always been optimistic and happy. But in four short years, my life has gone down the toilet and I honestly worry that we'll be homeless. This isn't all due to breast cancer, but it all seemed to start with breast cancer. I feel like I'm in prison. Worse, I'm terrified my cancer will come back and I won't even get to enjoy what little time I have left. I'm sorry to load all this on everyone else, but I just can't see the forest for the trees right now and I just need to tell someone.

Anonymous

Hoopie,
Dont feel bad about telling us how your feeling....thats what we are all here for...to share the good with the bad seems to be what we all do best here .

Im sorry about your troubles and wish there were something more that I could do to help you....the best I can do is to be here for you when you need to talk.....

I try to stay positive and I try to find at least one positive (it started out one per week) now I have moved my goals to one everyday....even if its just the fact that I brought a smile to someones face today....its better than nothing to me....

We all go through these times of being so down and not knowing what the future holds is really a downer ....

Im so sorry you have to deal with all this stuff...I cant imagaine the stress you must be under...

Hugs
Jule

Anonymous

Hooptie....I am SO sorry to hear about your having to go through all of that crap since its bad enough to "just" have BC! And posting here is the right thing to do because we have so many experiences and avenues of support among us. I can't offer much practical advice beyond telling you to just hang in there and have hope that things will improve once your basic debts are settled and you have enough income to survive. There's a Debt Support group over on the iVillage message boards that you might want to check out. Many of those people have declared bankruptcy, lost their homes, etc. and have, slowly but surely, climbed out of debt. Just hearing others' stories sometimes helps one to feel less alone too.

Marin

djd

Hooptie,

My heart goes out to you. I wish I knew something to say or do besides "I'm sorry", but that's all I know to say and I really truly am sorry.

As for creditors, just remember, they can't eat you and they can't kill you!

I'll be praying for a turn in your and your DH's luck - the sooner the better.

Remember - this too shall pass.

hugs,

hooptiedoo

You've all already made me feel better. Would you believe my personal motto has always been "This too shall pass"??? And Marin, thank you for that information. I'm going to head over there now. I know this will work out -- maybe not the way I want it to, but it WILL work out. Supposedly God never gives you more than you can handle, but my back is certainly sore from all the balancing I'm doing right now.

wakebrat7

Hooptie:

I just wanted to say that I am so sorry that your having a rough time. If it helps any, I'm with ya and have gone through nothing but hell since the cancer.

My husband left me in the hospital, when I had breast cancer. My father died a couple of months before the cancer. My kid told me she never wants to speak to me again. I work myself so hard and can bearly survive by myself. Now, I'm almost 44 and pregnant and the father of the baby is a lunatic and I may have to do this alone. I have two people that I really love right now who are dying from Stage IV terminal cancer.

I sincerely hope that things get better for you. I'm so glad that you are here to vent. I just want you to know that there are other people out there who are struggling and its been one thing after another for us too.

The only thing I do is pray alot and know that this will all end some day and that I will be in paradise with God and my loved ones. Try not to couple everything together and know that even if you didn't get the cancer, things could still be the same for you right now.

You hang in there girl! We are holding your hand and I'm sure alot of people can relate.

Blessings.

Lillie

Anonymous

Hooptie,

I do believe there are programs through HUD to help you keep your home (I have a girlfriend who is going through similar issues). I'll pm you with more information as soon as I get it...

Chin up, my friend. And there's a heck of a whole lot to be said for a good cry, too...

Chattypatti

I am so sorry you are feeling so low right now, but don't apologize for coming to these boards. We welcome your feelings. I hope you can find a program to help you with yor financial situation. I agree with Felicia...crying lets out a lot of emotion! Don't let it scare you. Hang in there!

Patti

sahalie

Dear Hooptie and Lilly,
I wish for you both to find comfort, peace and help with friends and family that will step up to the plate. Don't be shy to ask for help. I was at first.
Hooptie, what ever the health issues your dh has there could be a group to help you in your community. Ask around and find what is available to you. Be your own squeeky wheel and don't take no for an answer.
My heartfelt prayers are with you and I hope life takes a turn for the better immediately.

Carol_D

My life turned upside down as well. I never was able to return to my job after BC surgery and have struggled to find my new "niche" in life. It's been a constant struggle to figure out where my next paycheck is coming from. I tried graduate school for a while and now I'm about to accept a job that I worked in as a "temp" ... no benefits for now but hopefully in the future. It seems that BC has lasting effects for some of us that take awhile to resolve. Please don't give up hope and please don't give up entirely. There is something out there that is right for you and your family.

nowheregirl

Hooptie, I am so sorry that you've been through hell. But this shall pass. I can tell you this because I've been there, done that.
I was divorced a couple of years before I was diagnosed with this disease. When I finally got rid of my ex, I was more than 50k in debt. (thank you so much my ex!) He and his parents had borrowed too much $$ under my name and under the current laws in Japan, I had to pay it back all on my own even though I only had my name used and didn't even use a penny. I didn't own a house so there was not so much left that I could make money with. I moved to the cheaper apartment, went to the pawn broker to sell watches, jewelries etc, worked as a part-time truck driver and went on long road trips without being able to get enough sleep while I worked as a sales rep at a printing company. I couldn't ask my parents for financial help because they had retired long time ago and my mom was suffering from hepatitis C. Then my dad was dianogsed with colon cancer. He got very weak after he had a surgery as he was too old (80 at dx) and his doctor told us that there's not much time left. I was dianogsed with this disease when we were all devastated by this sad news. Worse yet, my private insurance didn't cover any of my medical bills for BC because of my medical history. Even with the social insurance run by governemnt, I had to cover 30% out of my pocket.

But guess what? I am not homeless... yet! I am not rich at all and will never be. But who cares? I can afford food and the rent. My dad is still around. Mom has been in remission from her Hep C. I quit my truck job a couple of years ago and now I don't have to do two jobs (although I still work like crazy, 12-16 hours a day). I can assure you that you will get to the point where I am right now. Hang in there, things will improve!

Hugs,

Sierra

Hi Hooptie:

Quite a load you are carrying

and anything to do with finances
is a real whammie, I know
having exhausted many funds
myself since DX..

I surely hope you get the disability
Know that my ex (in U.S)
had to get an attorney
finally, and he is diabetec, cancer
and forget what else

I will ask our Higher Power
for Abundance for you, when I pray
I don't ask for anything specific
just that abundance be granted
Nothing happens till it happens
I always say


Hugs

Fitztwins

Just like Fumi, after my divorce..thanks to my ex I was 30K in debt. I got out. With the help of Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey. Check it out. Not matter how things are going, there is a solution.

Janis

wallan

HUGS to you... you do have alot on your plate, girl!

Life is so unfair sometimes.... I don't have any words of wisdom or solutions. I have been in bad situations too though and I sort of understand the pain.

Just know you are not alone. I will pray for you.

Wendy A

iodine

You will be in my prayers, please keep comming here. We will be with you in thick and thin.