Life keeps happening!

Dar1

We just found out today that our son and DIL are considering separation. He had an accident and became paraplegic 2 months after they met - that was 7 1/2 years ago. They got married 2 1/2 years ago, and apparently since then she has not been dealing with his disability well. I'm 5 months out from chemo and WAS just starting to settle emotionally. Now I feel blown away again. He seems to be doing OK, but it just makes me feel really sad. She has become part of our family and I love her - but he is my son and I want what is best for him. Sometimes it seems like the s**t just keeps happening! Actually, it doesn't just SEEM that way, it is that way.

nosurrender

Dar, I am so sorry.
Maybe they can still work things out because you wrote they are just considering separation.
I have friends who were almost ready for divorce court and they had counseling and worked things out.
But if your son and DIL can't, then it wasn't meant to be for them- but that certainly doesn't mean you will have to stop communicating with your DIL.

Things do seem to pile on though don't they?

All I can do is offer you a big cyber hug and reassure you that things WILL get better some day...

At least that is what I keep telling myself!

Love,
g
g

iodine

Sorry you have this added stress. It's really tough to see our kids, whatever age go thru something like this.

Anonymous

Life does keep happening. I have found it harder to deal with the everyday stressors since being diagnosed with bc. Sure hope you son and DIL can work things out.

Nicki

Dar1

Thanks for your responses. I hope they can work it out too. I've never been divorced, but of course have many friends who have - it sure does feel like an amputation. All around me are pictures of their wedding and good times we've had - why isn't that enough? But there's not much I can do, but just to be there. I can't let this bring me right back down either. I've had a tendency to bleed myself out - especially for my son because of his disability. Maybe I need to learn to see beyond the wheelchair too. But like cancer, when something like that happens in your life, the reverberations last for years - or forever. Like my daughter says, life doesn't get any easier, you just learn to cope better.

Shirlann

Hi, my son and beloved DIL were divorced about 12 years ago. It still hurts. I feel sorry for him, for her and for the two kids.

Somehow I thought when we raised them, we were done?

Not to be.

Hugs, Shirlann

LiveForToday

Believe me when I say that we all have problems in common besides bc. I have two daughters both divorced now. One gets along well with her X for her daughters emotional well being but the other can not even talk to her X and he has remarried and now the step mom is abusing my two grandchildren ages 4 and 5. Unfortunately they share joint custody and we are in the middle of a custody battle.

I hate our justice system when it comes to the safety of our children. I trust no lawyers or judges to put the best interest of the children first.

You will certainly be added to my prayer list. Seems it gets longer daily...


huggs, Sherry

Chattypatti

Life does go on around us, doesn't it? So sorry you are dealing with another stress. ((((HUGS))))
Patti

Anonymous

We NEVER stop being a mother or "Mothering."

My daughter who has been dating this guy for almost four months was crushed when last night, after avoiding her for a couple of weeks (won't go into that..long story), nicely broke up with her. She had really fallen for this guy. We were on the phone at lease 1 1/2 hours. She cried and cried. We were "rationalizing" everything. We were "analyzing" everything. He has an ex wife and three kids, one 21, 16 and 7. The ex wife is needy and wants him back. So much drama in that family that I told my dd that her hurt won't go away, but I said that she may be very happy that she didn't get involved in the drama. My dd is too good for that. Don't all we mom's say that. She deserves the best! She thought she found him. I don't think she's taken a breakup this hard since her senior year in college. Better she not marry this person and find out down the road it was wrong.

Yep, Mothering will be our job until we die. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
Shirley

lvtwoqlt

I agree on the we Never stop being the mother

My son is in the Navy and last summer 1 month left in his six month cruise to the Persian Gulf, he got an email from his wife that she would have the divorce papers ready for him to sign when his ship returned to Honolulu. Fortunate for them they were only married 1.5 yrs and they had no children. That crushed him and I was unable financially to go to HI when his ship reuturned to port to comfort him and help him cope. He turned to drinking but realized after about a month that it was not worth the risk to his life and career and this past February he took his last drink.

No matter how big they grow, they will always be our babies and we will be their mom.

Sheila

Anonymous

Oh Sheila, how horrible! I detest stories like this. How insensitive and cruel can a "person" be! I'm glad he stopped drinking. You've got a bright young man there.
Shirley