It's been a while...

JillCR

It's been a while since I've posted anything. But I always feel so safe coming here. I'm 36 and was diagnosed with breast cancer in 9/04. All test and doctor appts. have been good. But just recently, I've been feeling scared and anxious. I'm coming up on my 1 yr. mammo and sono and very nervous, I called my dr. and she gave me Xanax, I feel I only need to take it as situational type thing. What do you think is going on with me? and is there anyone else that's feeling this way. After chemo, I started Zoloft 25mg, then went up to 50mg and started feeling weird, actually weened myself off of it and was feeling pretty good. To tell you the truth, my girlfriend passed away alittle over a yr. ago from Leiomyosarcoma, and I think that is still effecting me. I don't know, just feeling a little down I guess, this too shall pass, right? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for listening.

BethNY

Hey Jill. Good to see you. I seriously think that no matter how great we are doing, whenever a Dr's appt, mammo or checkup comes near, we all kind of get emotionally out of sorts.
My advice- take some xanax the days leading up to and before you see the dr.
It really will pass-- you'll go for your mammo, get the all clear, and then go back to what you were doing a few weeks ago.
When we were in active treatment, I don't think we even thought of making it this far...
and now we're there, and we're healthy- but it doesn't make the checkups less scary, or the reality that the beast can still rear its ugly head.
All you have to do is get up every day, and keep living. Laugh loud, hug tight, and love with all your heart.
You beat cancer. Think of your check ups as a reminder that that you won.

margiejune

I am about three and a half years out of treatment One of the most surprising things is that when I go for my checkups every six months my blood pressure is always high as it always was when I went to the cancer center. I really feel calm, the docs are wonderful, I am not scared, but internally my body must know that it doesn't want to go to this place! LOL When I go to my regular doc I have fine bp. Yesterday I had my annual mammogram and they asked for added pics twice...on my "good" breast. I was there 3 hours, but no one would tell my the results. Needless to say, I have had a headache ever since and took extra zoloft. Now I am just waiting. I wonder if we will ever not be a little skittish. I believe you are right about all this...and this, too, shall pass! I think of my days as pre-cancer and post-cancer. Silly, huh?