telling family

Fireweed

I'm 5,000 miles away from my sister and other much loved family members. And I last saw them all just a month ago at the memorial service for a cousin who died of colon cancer at 48. My aunts and uncles are feeling very protective of my entire generation. My partial is in five days and I haven't told any of them yet. I worry that they will think things are worse than they really are. Any suggestions?

Merlette

Hi, Susan. I'm sorry to hear that you are starting this journey. I have just finished treatment and want to tellyou to hang in there, I had 2 lumpectomies, 8 chemos, 25 radiation sessions and now am on Tamoxifen - and I haven't had any serious problems! I can't believe how well this went for me, but I am sure that one reason it did was because of all the support I had, which is one reason why I think you should tell your family. A lot of my support came from e-mails, so someone doesn't have to be able to bring you soup to help. Just knowing that people are concerned, encouraging, and praying for you is so strengthening! Also, have you thought about how angry an hurt your family will be if you don't tell them?

As women, it is common for our concerns to be about others, not ourselves. This is what you are doing - you worry about how they will worry, instead of reaching out to them for support.

Tell them what is going on, but emphasize that you have every reason to expect things to go simply, and that you have confidence in your doctors. Tell them what other tratment you will be having, and that they don't have to panic. I sent out e-mails after every doctor's visit, chemo, etc. so that everyone was informed of my progress, and the response to this was very helpful.

Best of luck with your surgery, and your decision. You have found a great support right here already, this is THE place to go for info and support!

roseg

It doesn't sound like you need them to come help you.

I would tell them soon. The longer you delay the harder it will be to tell them.

Send an email if you can't work up the courage over the phone.

This is not going to end like your cousin so don't worry yourself about that.

Fireweed

thanks so much - I hadn't thought about it that way. Of course they want to know, even if it means excessive worry.