My best friend is starting chemo tomorrow

ann603

Hi everyone,
I'm in need of some advice on how to get my friend through the hard times she is about to face. She was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer and she's starting chemo tomorrow.
She's scared beyong belief. Scared for herself and scared for her husband and child to watch her go through this. I want to help her as much as I can.
Since I am her best friend, my help is going to be a little more intimate than say, her friends from church who bring over meals or send cards. My questions are:
1. What were the "little" things which people did that meant a lot to you as you fought the cancer?
2. When going through chemo, were there certain things you liked doing while you were doing your treatments?
3. What were some of the things that drove you crazy in people who had good intentions, but said or did the wrong thing.

Any advice at all would be so greatly appreciated!
Thanks!

Fllorik

Please give your friend a little space to think this through THEN hold her hand! Listen to her when she needs to talk, hold her when she needs to cry, and of course be there when she laughs! Try not to tell her you know how she feels because frankly you don't. Just be compassionate and by her side. Take cues from her and since you are her best friend, take cues from what she is NOT telling you. As far as chemo, take her lead and ask her if she wants company during treatments or wants to be alone. She will learn from other chemo patients what works for them and might try that. I guess, mostly, be the friend that you have always been and love her as you have always have. Your friendship hasn't changed just because of her diagnosis. Obviously, you care about your friend enough to post here. Just continue what you are doing! I have faith in you!

myrenewal

Just be there for her. Perhaps stock her freezer with some easy frozen meals, homemade or purchased. My sister (best friend) would drive sixty miles (before traffic started) and arrive at my house at 7:00 a.m. on chemo days with groceries for dinner and movies. She would drive me to chemo, help me with errands that needed doing on the way home, sit and watch movies with me, make dinner, spend the night. It was soothing. My husband leaves for work at 7:00 a.m. and returns at 8:00 p.m. so she was an enormous help to me.

Many people brought meals and were willing to drive me to chemo and doctors, etc., but one thing I had difficulty with were the day to day things that needed to be accomplished. Laundry for my family was a major undertaking for me, help with that would have been appreciated. Maybe offer to do that for her on days she is not well (tell her you are not scared of dirty underwear ). Things like going to the post office, picking up children from school would also have been helpful. Perhaps you could help her organize and keep track of medical bills and insurance payments - that was huge!

Your friend is lucky to have someone like you care about her. I hope she does well throughout her treatment.