If you have just been diagnosed....

dlb823

Hi, Syd ~  So sorry that you're at such a frustrating and confusing point in your treatment, but I'm glad that at least the lumpectomy is behind you.  You know, if I was in your situation, I would do two things.  First, I would make an appointment with another surgeon to get 2nd opinion on the close margin.  The answer may lie partly in where the margin was, but it would be good to get another opinion. I would also ask your oncologist for an Oncotype-DX test, which will take about 3 weeks to process, but will analyze tissue from your tumor and give you a numerical score regarding the benefit of chemo to your individual situation.  You can go on the informational section of this website under "Symptoms & Diagnosis" and use the search box on that page to find info' on the Oncotype-DX.

One thing you will find in this journey is that not all doctors will give you the same advice or recommendations, so it's always best to get a second opinion when you have any shred of doubt about what you're being told -- especially if the doctor rendering the opinion seems confused or too casual about your exact pathology, which is kind of what I'm hearing in your story.

And don't worry about chemo if you need it.  No one ever wants to do chemo, but we all get through it, and there are great wigs available now.  (I'm wearing one in my avatar.)  Not doing chemo IF you need it would be foolish IF it can significantly reduce your risk of a reoccurence.  But the Oncotype-DX will give you those answers.

Take care, and keep us posted on your situation!    Deanna 

syd_tennant

Thanks Deanna. Tomorrow I have an appointment for a second opinion. We'll see what happens. I have to say that this has happened so fast for me, that Im destroyed, I just found out thar I have a very aggresive cancer and now I have to deal with also loosing my hair. I cannot even process the idea of using a wig (dont ask me why) dont evet talk about the fact that I will loose all my hair (apparently my treatment have to be a very aggressive one and I will loose all my hair)

Anyways, I had no one to talk to about all thats happenning, so thanks for answering. Gos Bless you all, and keep fighting...

dlb823

Syd ~  There are many women here who know exactly what you are going through and will be wonderful support for you.  You'll see as you navigate around this site, how much information and how many separate threads there are for women in different phases of treatment.  You never need to feel alone with the wonderful, caring community of women here!

I've mentioned it before, but for some reason this particular thread doesn't get a lot of attention from anyone other than very newly diagnosed women, so often doesn't provide the support other threads do, because most women posting here are new and still somewhat shell-shocked themselves!  So you may need to branch out to post specific questions and/or join threads that relate to your situation, whether that's surgery or chemo or radiation or whatever treatment step you're facing.  Also, when you first join BCO, you are limited to 5 posts within 24 hrs., so be sure to use them judisciously to avoid being shut out for 24 hrs, which can be very frustrating.

Take care, and let us know how that appt goes ~ Deanna

MaryNY

Syd, so sorry to hear what you're going through. It must be all a big shock to you since everything seems to have happened so fast. Like Deanna suggested, I would definitely get a second opinion. Has the BS referred you to an oncologist?

syd_tennant

Thank you girls. You cant  imagine how much I appreciate your replies. Mary, as I saw on your profile ur diagnosis is very much like mine. Can you tell me, how it has being for you?

MaryNY

Hi Syd: Yes, our diagnoses are a little alike, but I have one positive node which makes a world of difference when it comes to treatment. If it weren't for that I could forgo chemo. I did have the Oncotype DX test done and my score is 18, which puts me in a gray area for decision on chemo. I'm going for my fourth(!) onc opinion next week. 

You are lucky that you have no lymph node involvement and your tumor is small. Also being ER+ and PR+ is a good thing. This means that hormone therapy (e.g., Tamoxifen) is one option in your treatment. 

I know you are concerned about the margins. I would definitely see another BS on that matter. Then get a recommendation for an oncologist. They probably want to be more aggressive with you since you are so young. I would encourage you to get the Oncotype test. If it comes back with a low score, you will likely avoid chemo and if the score is high, it will make it easier for you to accept the benefit of doing chemo.  

One thing I've learned is what Deanna said above "One thing you will find in this journey is that not all doctors will give you the same advice or recommendations, so it's always best to get a second opinion when you have any shred of doubt about what you're being told." I don't know why but I've found this very surprising. I thought that the path ahead would be a straigh line and that each time there was a decision to be made, I would go to a doc and they would tell me exactly what to do. And if I went to a second doc that I'd get exactly the same opinion. But it's not been like that. So unless you have an enormous sense of confidence in the first doctor, always seek out a second opinion if even just to validate the first opinion.

Syd, you might want to start your own thread. That way I think you might get more input. Also when you first start posting here, you are limited to five posts a day until you accumulate a certain number of posts. This can be frustrating. If you run out of posts, you can send a message directly to me or anyone else on the board by clicking the user name, then choosing "send member a private message" on the top right.

rahullahiri

My mother has just been diagonised for duct carcinoma.Her FNAC report is as follows-----

"Smears show malignant epithelial cells aranged in clusters,acini or discretely.The cells show mild to moderate pleomorphism with nucleomegaly,nuclear hyperchromasia and scanty cytoplasm"

Can somone tell me how seroius is it?I am mentally shattered.Please help!

mimi1964

Hi I'm newly diagnosed and I'm wondering what kind of questions to ask my doctor tomorrow at the consultation?

dlb823

Hi, Renee ~  I'm so sorry about your diagnosis.  As far as what to ask, are you seeing a surgeon tomorrow, or your regular primary doctor?  If primary doctor, then by all means ask how soon you will be referred to a breast surgeon.  And do try to get a breast surgeon/specialist -- not just a general surgeon.  If you are already seeing a surgeon tomorrow, be sure to ask what kind of bc you have, and for a copy of your pathology report.  That way, we can help you with future treatment decisions.  Oh, and be sure someone goes with you tomorrow.  We all tend to tune out shortly into the conversation about bc -- like they're talking about someone else.  It's hard to wrap your head around at first, so having someone with you to listen and remind you later of exactly what was said is very helpful.  So sorry you're here, but glad you've found us, and please let us know how it goes.     Deanna

Linda1479

Hi, my name is Linda.  I'm not really sure if this is the right place to post something.  2 weeks ago I had my yearly mammogram.  2 days later they called me back because they said they needed to do another one.  Come to find out, I have calcifications in my right breast.  The next morning, I had the stereotatic biopsy done.  The doctor called and I got the results from that this past week.  I was told that the biopsy results were inconclusive, but I do have atypical ductal hyperplasia.  He told me I would be scheduled with a doctor and they want to do what sounds like a wire localization biopsy next week.  I was told if I went online to look up something called DCIS.  I'm really confused, a little scared and not sure what to think.  I feel like everything is moving really fast.  I feel like I am at a standstill until next week.  If anyone could offer some advice or some insight, I would really appreciate it. 

paigelise

Hi Linda...I am also very new to this and can't offer too much other than I know how you feel.  Time has been really distorted for me...I had a mammogarm and ultrasound and the next day I was scheduled to see a surgeon.  He did a core biopsy in the office...results were OK but since my scans were so suspcious I was scheduled for a 2nd US guided biopsy in which the results came back positive for IDC.  I just got my results over the phone on Friday. 

One of the things that has helped me adjust was that every day I came on here and educated myself on the chance it actually was cancer.  When the nurse rattled off my type and hormone receptors I had some clue what she was saying.  Some days I was overwhelmed so would just check a bit at a time.

 Start keeping a notebook and writing things down and take the advice of the people on this board  who have been thru it.  This probably isn't much help but I could relate to your post because I was just there.  Please take care of yourself also and don't let your mind run too far ahead at this point!  My BP went up, I was getting headaches, I finally realized if I just take it a piece at a time it is a bit easier. 

 Let us know what your results are.

Wendy

dlb823

Hi, Linda ~  I'm so sorry you're finding yourself facing another biopsy, but let me see if I can direct you to some places within this website that might be helpful -- if you haven't already found them.  First, at the very top of this page if you click on SYMPTOMS & DIAGNOSIS, it will take you to the informational part of BCO.  Once in that area, you can search DCIS for a thorough description of the term. Basically, it's the earliest form of breast cancer -- non invasive, but does require treatment -- IF they find it starting within the cells they already know are atypical (changed from the way normal cells  look). 

The next area of this website you'll want to check out is back within the Discussion Boards.  Click on Forum Index, and scroll down until you see DCIS.  There you will find quite a few threads discussing various questions about DCIS. 

Many women have the wire guided procedure as part of a lumpectomy.  I'm not entirely familiar wih it being used for a biopsy, but I guess your doctor wants to remove more tissue to be sure he hasn't missed actual DCIS within the atypical cells.  Is the doctor you're referring to a breast surgeon/specialist?  If not, I would absolutely find a breast surgeon before I let anyone (like a general surgeon or other type of doctor) do anything more. 

Hope this helps ~   Deanna

kittycat

Linda - I had DCIS.  If you have DCIS, it is a very early stage of breast cancer.  When I was dx, I did a LOT of research and got a couple opinions.  The good thing about DCIS is usually you have a little time to get answers.  My diagnosis was June 17th and my surgery (bilateral mastectomy) was August 12th.  Ask LOTS of questions and make sure you're see the proper specialists.  I didn't get this wire guided procedure.  I did a ultrasound guided biopsy (actually 2 of them). 

Good luck and keep us posted!

Linda1479

Wendy, Deanna and Kittycat,

Thank you ladies for your help and information on what you know.  I am just trying to take it one day at a time and not get too worked up about this.  I did find out that the surgeon I have been refered to is a general surgeon.  I have my consult on Monday and will definitely ask a lot of questions.  I'm already making a list and my husband is going with me.  I am scheduled for the second biopsy surgery on Tuesday morning.  I will let you all know once I find out the results.  Thank you all again.   

Linda

kittycat

Linda - good luck!!!!!!! 

CindyInLA

I'm a breast cancer survivor and thriver.  Just found this DVD "The Path of Wellness & Healing" at a conference and it's the best resource i have EVER seen for anyone with breast cancer or their families.  My husband was given SO MANY BOOKS and who has the time to read when you're dealing with something like this?  This DVD was a one-stop shop that walks you through the entire bc experience with celeb survivors like Sheryl Crow and Christina Applegate and the world's greatest doctors like Deepak Chopra and Dean Ornish.  You'll learn, you'l be inspired, you'll probably cry and you might even laugh!  Check it out!!!  http://breastcancerdvd.org/. 

bf2009

Hi everyone, I just joined the site. Found a lump a few weeks ago that suddenly appeared and was golf ball size. Had all the testing and it is Cancer per biopsy. I just found out today and the doctor told me per phone call. I'll be seeing her monday and go from there. I know little at this point except she said it was invasive, fast growing.

It has already grown sunstainally in the week I waited to see the doctor at the breast center after ultrasound and mamogram, I even told the doctor while she was doing the needle biopsy procedure, how I almost felt it growing... she said I was right, its a very fast growing cancer.

so...

I'm scared I guess, mostly from not knowing what to expect and fear of pain. Glad to find the forum where I can get more info. I'll know more Monday after seeing the doctor as to the specifics of my lab reports.

dlb823

bf2009 ~  So sorry that you've received the dreaded diagnosis and are joining this club that none of us ever wanted to be in.  All I can say is, as scary as it is now, it gets much easier when you know exactly what you're dealing with and have a game plan in place.  The most important thing you can do now is be sure that you have the right medical team in place.  Don't be at all shy or reluctant to seek a second opinion when you have a few more facts. You will find that not all doctors think alike about the best course of treatment, and you will have options and decisions to make along the way, so it's best to gather as much information as you can at each step, including second opinions.

If you haven't found it already, there's an information part to this website -- very top bar -- Symptons & Diagnosis, etc.  You'll find all sorts of helpful information there.    

Oh, and when you first join, you're limited to 5 posts per 24 hr. period, so you may want to use them carefully at first, so as not to get "shut out" for 24 hrs.    Deanna

bf2009

Thanks.

I have been looking at the section of this site. Guess monday I'll know more as I have no idea what stage or if my breast cancer has gone outside the milk duct

( she said I had invasive cancer of the milk duct, a fast growing cancer, which may explain how it got sooo big, so fast as its golf ball size or larger.... and I am one who checks my breasts monthly).

 which is now the big question if the cancer has moved into my body and to what extent and what will need to be done to kill the cancer cells. I hope I do not have to have a masectomy. The doctor already said I will need chemo and radiation... so I hope not the masectomy too, but will gladly trade my breast for my life !

I am glad I have a good husband and also good health insurance which will certainly help.

Since my lump is so large, I am fearful my prognosis will not be very good and that it may have already grown beyond the milk duct into my lympathic system.

Ugh......... This is all pretty shocking. I feel in shock.

Its good to find a site like this and there is so much info ! I am thankful for that

bf2009

The surgeon has told me friday that they want to start aggressive treatment as soon as possible. I just can't believe this is all happening AND SOOOOOOOOOO FAST.

By this time next week I'm thinking I will already have had surgery.

 It is a bit overwelming and surprising. Got some good info online and this site as how this all goes.. usually surgery first ( unless they decide to give hormone treatement first to shrink the tumor) then chemo/ radiation later.

I guess they will doing a BUNCH of test monday on me and getting all the pre-cert insurance paperwork rolling. I also have gathered that at the time of surgery they will stage and grade ther cancer. So glad my husband is with me and supportive as its all kind of overwelming. I am very fearful of having stage 4 cancer.

To be honest, its terrifing to think of a long painful death but I guess many people throughout history have faced that end... some of which did not have access to medical care or pain medication... a silver lining on the dark cloud over me, that I will be provided with those things of pallitive care should the prognosis be bad.

I'm getting all the business taken care of that I can today to make sure if things do not turn out well or the surgery has complications my husband will not have the added burden of not knowing

what he needs to know to move on... as he is not the one who has cancer and will need to be able to move on should things not go well... I hope to try to make it as easy as I can for him.

We are having very good talks today and bonding emotionally more than ever. I am blessed with a good man, who loves me.

Sorry for the typos, I am very tired, no sleep last night.

Just venting, it helps me to get my thoughts together to write what I'm feeling and going through.

bf2009

A mastecomy !!! that is just unbeliveable, that I may end up with one and in just a few days ! OMG, I just can't believe how fast things in life can turn around. Last weekend I was thinking about what kind of soup would be good to make and this weekend ... a mastetomy ... a very real and probable possibility according to the surgeon.

Surgeons reply to my asking if it looks like I will have to have one:

Most likely !...................... wow !

shesh... I think I need a drink.

The more I read the more worried I get as my tumor is far greater than 5cm, so that means I am a stage 3 or 4, not a 1 or 2, that is obvious...

It is the size of a small upple, up from ping pong ball size and seems to be growing a fingerbreath a week, as I have noted in the weeks waiting to get a diagnosis.

do I already have metastisis and node involvement?

UGHHHHHHHHHHH

It's all so sur-real, like a nightmare I want to wake up from.

We are not going to call family until next week after more test results come in. This is so sad as I finally got my life together and have a wonderful life... and it's going to be cut short.

Here is an article I read and it makes me wish I would have gotten my ovaries removed when I had my hysterecomy... as I never would have taken HRT. I could have maybe avoided this.

( sorry it won't post) but it says that women with non functioning ovaries and not on HRT do not get breast cancer, that BC is a hormonal thing. I was doing some progestin cream for a month or two...over the counter type in hopes of relieving hot flashes but stopped because it seemed to make my hot flashes worse.. I think that set my cancer off and got it in motion.

I was thinking I was hot flashing from menapause, and it could have been an early sign of cancerous chages in my body.

I believe I have ovary involvement as It's very painful in my ovary area. I guess the doc will check that out monday.

Everything I read... says things are not going to work out well for me... and the doctor said we MUST ACT FAST.. so I am just floored how fast this has all happened.

dlb823

bf ~ FIrst, I want to tell you that the wild thoughts you are having about what stage you might be and will you die of bc are all totally normal.  The good news is, once you have let those thoughts run their course and you get more specific information about your situation, you will realize that bc is very treatable.  Yes, you will have to have surgery, and yes, you may need chemo and/or radiation.  In fact, you're probably looking at a year of treatment, during which time you will have some lousy weeks.  But you will get through it, and you will be okay.  At least that's the scenario for the majority of us. 

Yes, it is all very surreal.  "Nightmare" is also the word I constantly used.  In fact, after I was told I needed a mastectomy, it was so surreal to me I was convinced I had been in a auto accident on the way to see my surgeon, and that I was unconscious, and that this was all a bad dream.  It was just impossible for me to wrap my mind around it.  So I can totally relate to where you are with all this.  But trust me, you will get through it.  And don't beat yourself up about having taken a hormone for a month or two.  Breast cancer doesn't happen overnight.  In most cases, it's been brewing for at least 10 before it becomes large enough to be felt or picked up on any type of imaging.   The progestin may have contributed to it, but it's unlikely that it was the sole cause.

I also want to caution you about blindly following any doctor who wants to rush you into surgery or treatment.  Please take the time to get a second opinion, just to be sure you're on the right track.   Is the doctor you're seeing a breast surgeon?    Deanna 

bf2009

Thanks for the reassurance I'm not losing my mind DBL. It is good to know I am not only alone but others have reacted as I am.

As far as my surgeon, she is with a large and well noted breast cancer center in my area, an office that has been in practice over a decade, she used to be chief of surgery at a HUGE hospital as I googled her. She had 8 comments from patients, all good.

Yesterday I called an old friend ( she is literally old, near 80) who has BC, she has had it 6 years ( she did not have node involevement) she had a masectomy many years ago and I find she had her other breast removed this year !!! It has also travelled to her lungs now. She has had high dose and low dose raditation and many, many rounds of chemo she told me. She told me details of her experiences with all of it, losing her hair, to the actual chemo procudure, how it felt to have one breast. She said she has lost all her hair 3x.

She did make me feel much more hopeful about my DX, I feel I have some hope and not the "get your affairs in oprder now" panic I fisr felt when told I had BC.

The thing is, she is so old, so weak... and so much tougher ( always was) than anyone I had ever know, I can only hope I can be that strong. She said ATTITUDE was important, not not give in and take to the bed, start moping around and there will still be good days where I will want to go to lunch and this will all make each day more precious.

She is going on 6 years now after first finding her BC, although from what she tells, me... it is very bad for her now due to severe weakness and not being able to breath well. I do not know if she will be around much longer.

I see so many women write here on the site, the success they are having, EVEN THOSE WHO HAD STAGE 4 BC... and that forum thread was nice to read. (I thank everyone for sharing)

My panic mode is a little less today, I actually slept a good 6 hours although hands are trembling uncomtroably. It broke my heart yesterday to see my  husband crying and telling me how much he loves me... and how our time together has been so good... how we may not have much more time together, how he hates that he can't quit his job and just share each day with me.

Although I'm 50, we have not been married that long you see.

So I am dealing with this all emotionally right now. I'm sure next week it will change to physical concerns because I fear a radical masectomy, I fear to be told I have lymph node involment and it has travelled... as I have bad pain over one of my ovaries ( I only have one ovary) and I fear I am FULL OF CANCER in all my organs to feel this pain in the ovary area. ugh...

My husband is still sleeping and I'm up and the house is quiet. I have been crying this morning trying to pinpoint the exact feelings I'm having and there are so many. Fear of life altering physical changes preventing me from my regular activites of daily living, fear of severe pain, fear of becoming a huge burden on others, mostly my husband... fear of the unknown. I guess my crying is just fear... and terror.

I guess this will pass.

Was thinking worst case senerio, even then... I would have at least a few months, so there will still be one more christmas, I will still maybe see one more birthday, I will still have hundreds more days with my new husband.

I will never have to worry about painting the house again, rising cost of insurance rates, food and gas .. so there is a silver lining, in even the worst of cases I guess.

I will just have to accept I may not continue to be the highly active and physically strong person I always was. My mental toughness I guess is what is going to be challenged now.

hmmm.

I guess its all just soaking in now. My breast lump is quite large, each week in waiting on all these tests, growing a fingerbreath, not only can I feel it growing, it has sharp pains at times. I honestly thought it was a cyst. To hear it was cancer JUST shocked me. I barley knew what to ask the doctor as I was so stunned !

not a cyst? cancer ?????????????????? whatttttttttt ?

It helps so much to know I am not alone. I enjoy survivors stories on the site. It is most hopeful to read. Thanks all for sharing, and thanks for letting me vent my feelings.

and thanks agin dbl. I feel this surgeon is a good one, she was also reffered to me by my primary doctor who knows her personally and said she is awesome. Her resume sounds awesome and the surgeon ( a woman) is very down to earth and plain spoken. She is the one who did my biopsy and I feel comfortable with her. She is one of several doctors in this breast cancer center, all women...that has been open about 10 years ( or more) with her being on eof the docs working there.... and the surgeon herself has 31 years medical as a doctor, about 5 as chief of surgery in one of the biggest area hospitals and also the military !!!  It sounds like she is a good and experienced doctor.  

YES SHE IS A BREAST SURGEON !!!

On monday I will get my lab report and know more, and hopefully be more rational than emotional by then.

BUT PLEASE CONTINUE to make suggestions as I am not aware of whats next and even what to ask, so please keep on making suggestions !

Do you really think a second opinion should be considered? ??????? really?

why?

I live in a HUGE metropolitian area with many cancer centers, although most not specifically breast cancer centers, so you think another biopsy and surgeons opinion would help? or just delay and waste time?

???

5andcounting

I am 43, diagnosed one week ago with invasive ductal,2.0 cm, ER+ Her2-, grade III,aggressive growth.  I'm a nure and a mother and have yearly mammograms. Have been given option of mastectomy/lumpectomy w/ rads. Scared to death they will open me up and find mtz.  I got divorced last year, my sister developed a brain tumor last year (but is doing wonderful!) and now this. Oh, and my boyfriend of the past year decided this would be too tough for him. 

This reads like a freaking soap opera.  I'm taking xanax to sleep and I'm a mess. I'm afraid if I don't do the mx I'll worry every day about it coming back. My son graduates this year and my daughter is a sophomore. I realize I probably will never see grandchildren. I just want to see them through college but my luck history is not very good right now.

dlb823

bf & crs319 ~ All I can say is, you will get through this!  It is probably not the death sentence you are both fearing it is, but I know exactly where you're coming from.  I, too, had very similar thoughts in the beginning, and until you have more complete information and more interaction with a team of doctors who can assure you that you will be okay after treatment, it's very normal to "go there" with our thoughts.  And it's also very normal to suddenly feel that every little twinge and ache must be cancer, when, in all likelihood, they are just normal twinges and aches and have absolutely nothing to do with the lesion in your breast and are no indication whatsoever that you have cancer anywhere else.  Also, many of us have Grade 3 or "fast growing" bc.  That alone is not a unique or dismal prognosis by any means!   It just means that your treatment will have to be more aggressive than a woman whose bc is Grade 1.

bf, what you shared about your husband (we use the abbreviation DH for dear husband here) is one of the hidden blessings of getting this kind of diagnosis (dx).  You find out how much you really mean to the people who love you. 

And crs319, I'm so sorry about your relationship.  But as tough as what happened must be for you at the moment, from my more distant perspective, I think it's probably a blessing and will make room in your life for a real man to fill.  And pleeeeze... none of that talk about never seeing grandchildren!  From what I can see from your stats, you have a very treatable lesion and should be fine when you have finished treatment.  And it sounds like you have two wonderful children to encourage and support you, as well as the women here.   Deanna

bf2009

crs319

I have many of your same fears about the metz !

I wanted to say how sorry I am your relationship with your man, ended like that, but it sounds like your going to be better off without him. I know your scared as I am and have the same metz concern.

I sometimes think I may have lung cancer too as the tumor I have is so close to my chest wall and large ...when I take a deep breath it hurts.

Cancer isn't supposed to hurt, right? well my tumor does.

I hope you and I both do not have metz... and again, about your BF.... what a wimp.

You are really going to see your better off without him.

hey Deanna, thanks again ! Its good to know I'm not alone in my thoughts and others have had the same feelings ( like every pain could be cancer) because I seem to be doing a lot of that. I guess it's part of the shock phase of the new diagnosis.

Thank you again for sharing !

I had some time this afternoon so I went to look at wigs ( just look) I tried some on and don't like them, they feel constricting. I'm a very creative person so looked for alternatives and I found some turban things, bought them and took them home. I used some of those pony tail hair extensions I already had and took one and loosely pinned it in the hat. It looks pretty good, is loose and I think I'm going to wear that when my hair goes.

It helped me burn a few hours and distracted me from my fear of having metz to go shop for a wig, although I ended up not buying one.

I guess I'll go back to what I planned to do tonight and start to write down all the postive things I can think of... to know I will not have to deal with in old age.

For example:

I will NEVER have to use one of them walkers with the tennis balls on the front wheels ! Slowly shuffling my 80 year old butt down the hall trying to find the nurse to give me a stool softener. Thank God !! I will never have to live out my old age in a nursing home !!!

I will NEVER have to worry about my social security benefit not covering the cost of my food and meds ! Maybe even having to eat cat food because hamburger will be 19.99 a pound in the year 2030 and faced with those kind of choices... ugh ! cat food casserole... ughhhhhh !

Will never happen !

I will NEVER have to do many things that are of concern of old people, but the biggest positive thing is that I KNOW I'm not going to outlive my friends and family...  die old and alone and not be found for a year !!! maybe eaten by my dogs ( yes that has happened, it happened in my area

a few years ago to an old woman.. egads how horrible !)

( for some reason this all gives me some comfort) as there are worries I know I will never have to worry about since old age will most likely not happen for me, but thats ok I think. Getting real old

has its own set of problems......... Maybe even worse than this BC thing !

momand2kids

Let me echo Deanna's comments--- really, many,many if not most folks with bc have surgery, get treated and are doing fine..... it is absolutely amazing what can be done these days--- and remember, size does not determine treatment--grade is more important as is oncotype testing (please ask your onc for that---it can really tell you what your risks of recurrence might be and how effective chemo might be)... There are loads of women here who had large tumors, had them removed and are fine..... you will be one of them!!!

It is scary-- and if it gets to be too much while you are going throug this (which is the worst part of it all) maybe your doc can give you some ativan--something for the anxiety---- I only needed it for a week or two during this hardest part.... and it IS the hardest part.

 You may well outlive your friends and family--I am planning to!!! find out what you can--I agree with second opinions---- always a great idea---I did not get one for surgery (I had a lumpectomy) but I did get one for the treatment-and it confirmed the first opinion.  But I think taking a few extra days to get a second opinion is worth it....

sounds like you will have surgery soon--- once that is done and they do pathology- things become a little better- you will be making decisions based on data about YOU.... and that really makes a difference.

Millions of people have this experience and move on with their lives.  Please don't assume that you won't be one of them----

I also recommend taking a digital voice recorder to all of your appointments, along with a list of questions--- it is so nice to go back later and re-hear something you may have missed because you are anxious and worried.

best of luck--- I think you will get through this just fine! 

bf2009

I honestly was not aware HOW MANY WOMEN get breast cancer !

I googled, read and read for about 18 hours straight about BC, after getting my DX that my lump was cancer.

It made me wonder since one out 8 women will get it in their lifetime and the incidence is like 1 in 4 women after age 50

WHY IS IT ... there is no cure?

They seemed to come up with the money and means to cure male impotance pretty quick. Hair plugs are a science too... geesh. If more men got BC, I bet they would have come up with some really interesting new and effective, quick and easy breast cancer cures !

hmm. Makes me think some new clothing lines should be devloped, ones made to SHOW OFF

masectomy scars rather than hide them. Lets see how fast people start donating, coming up with new ways to find money to stop all this madness and the high rate and number of women who get this.... after they see one in 8 women at Walmart has a masectomy ! These BC statistics are far worse then the statistics for heart disease ! as one in 4 people by age 40 do not get heart disease , do they? at least not to the extent it alters ones life !

Yeah they need new clothing lines... a bra that covers one boob and open where the scar is, open to the world, shirts to match.

if I survive this and live 10 years, I want everyone to know I'm one tough woman !

I want to show the world, just think of how people will respond, as that would be truely shocking

and raise everyones eyebrows as well as interest in this horrible EPIDEMIC ! and it does seem like an epidemic !!!

Breast are usually covered up, so people don't realize how many women get this, the stuff I read online was shocking as to the statistics. wow.

Be back in a few days........ thanks everyone. I am feeling way better than I did Friday !

5andcounting

Thank you, Deanna, for the reassuring words. And bf2009, you made me laugh really hard with the thought I will not have to be eaten by my dog or cat in a lonely apartment. I share all your somatic pains, ribs hurt, my liver hurts (although I'm certain I never felt my liver before all this)

I think I can relax a little once I decide on the surgery and have that done.

bf2009

I saw both surgeon and oncologist today.. was all pretty overwelming.

I'm told I have TRIPLE NEGATIVE, and in reading about it, only 10-20% of breast tumors are, its very agrressive. They gave me a stage and grade, but said they will need to do lymph node biopsy when they put in my medaport next week and have to reassess numbers.

I start chemo week after Thanksgiving to see if the tumor will shrink any before surgery... as the tumor is so large,  both surgeon and oncologist agree doing the surgery first does not increase the survival rate.

I did get an RX for xanax, which should help because its all pretty overwelming, and does not look good with this triple negative news.