The Chemosabe March Cruise

fireba

Hi All,

I've been off the boards for a long time - so I've got some catching up (and some shouting out) to do.

But I had tx #7 (Taxol #3) this morning! So I only have one more to go! The Taxol has been rough for me with all the muscle soreness and bone pain. My legs have been particularly painful, but on the first day I couldn't even eat because I couldn't move my tongue very well. Who thinks of the tongue as a muscle?

I'm feeling very anxious about finshing chemo, though. Do other women feel that way? I kind of feel like chemo is this protective shield, so as long as I'm on it, I'll always be healthy (even if I can't move my tongue!). And even though I have rads coming up next (after a family vacay, hooray!), I'm already scared about the "waiting" part that I know will be up after that. I just don't want to be in that danger zone, ticking off the anniversaries and hoping for no recurrence. How are some of you handling these feelings?

Sara

playwriter

welcome back, Sara! i feel anxious in a way, too. i have one more tx, then 6 weeks of rads, then i'll just have to rely on eating right, exercise and faith (what a concept) that that nasty old BC doesn't come back.
chemo has sucked in many ways, but i have felt in a way like it was a shield against any other cancers growing in my body.
i think, in response to an earlier question, i'll count my anniversary from the day i was first diagnosed, feb 12.

rosebud1962

Last day of chemo I think I'll do my "in your face dance" to everyone who will watch..LOL. I am so ready for this to be over and that's the way it will be for me..over! I think of the chemo place as my day spa and the treatments as a relaxing therapy for my body. I have enjoyed meeting new people and having fun with them in a place where it's not fun, that's what I will miss the most. As far as worrying about if it comes back...nope. I turned that over to God and I'm just going to enjoy whatever time I have to the fullest.

Keenie

I hear you on the nervousness about ending treatments.

I finish my rads today and I don't see the onc until September. I was very weepy the other day as I walked back and forth to the Cancer centre. I am sure it is because this huge wall of activity, that has been built rather slowly over the last 6 months, is coming down. All that I've got left to build with is some Tamoxifen, low fat diet, and my favourite, exercise.

I heard just this morning that the Canadian Cancer society is working on building supports for people who finish tx - and not just for the first year. There is a plan afoot to continue to monitor and help people for years. The onc they interviewed said that since more people are surviving for longer, we have to find a way to be there for them well in to the future.

That made me feel good. But, I'm still a little shaky.

Christine

fireba

With these almost-post-chemo blues, I feel like I'm about to start stalking my onc! Yesterday I met with him before chemo #7, then later that night I sent him two emails, one about my blood counts (I've had high platelets for a while now and I may have to do a bone marrow biopsy after the bc treatments are over to check it out) and one about some newer treatments that I read about in Cure Magazine. When I remembered another question later that night, I forced myself to hold off sending email #3 - um, I wasn't exactly having a cancer emergency! Pretty soon you'll be seeing me on YouTube, singing and dancing and cooing about my Dr. C, like Obama Girl!

Part of me wants to have a last-day-of-chemo party and invite some of my friends and relatives to the hospital that day, and another part of me wants to completely deny that it's really the end. Also, I've always done my chemos alone, just me and my snacks and my crossword puzzles and books - I think I'd feel more anxious if lots of visitors were around. So that's still up in the air.

Playwriter, you and I have the same diagnosis anniversary - February 12. I'll always remember answering the phone, and I hadn't even considered until that moment that it might be cancer, and she said, "Um, actually, it came back as a CANCER." What an awful day. I think that I will consider my "official" anniversary to be my surgery date of February 26, the day that I started my path to cancer recovery.

LisaSDCA

Welcome back Sara! Missed you, girl!
I'm emotionally far more fragile than I was in my early chemo days. I don't see that changing anytime real soon, as I then go into my post-chemo slice and dice period (bilat mastectomies, oophorectomies and reconstruction). And I have (at this point) no rads in my future so I'm immediatley going to be in that "waiting for the axe to fall" mode. I am by nature a positive, optimistic person. I'm also a realist. Maybe that's why I have such mood swings.
If you read on other forums here at BC.org, you'll see that anxiety is a way of life 2, 4 and even more years out from diagnosis. "Survival" isn't a smooth road.
http://community.breastcancer.org/ubbthr...ge=0#Post630072
I guess I'm going to try focusing on getting my body back to as strong and fit a condition as I can, post-chemo and surgeries. That's a big job in my case. Maybe it will help distract me from my worries about not actively being involved in medical treatment against my risks.

MissS, thanks for the hint about cheap l-glutamine at WalMart. I rarely go there (and San Diego has a statute prohibiting SuperWalMarts within city limits) but they certainly do have some deals. Maybe I'll try there for my next supplement needs. Although I am becoming more and more cautious about the sources for my meds and supplements. I am willing to pay extra and go through the begging to get my doctors to Rx brand meds over generic in most cases. You think the Chinese ingredients in dog foods scandal is bad, read about where our drugs are coming from. <shudder>
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/16/AR2007061601295_pf.html

I'm thinking I may treat myself to a pedicure today. My feet are so dry and crusty and peeling in places. And I'm going out to dinner tonight so I need to get them presentable so I can wear my sandals. The place I go is very good about sterilization, so it oughta be okay. Of course, my manicurist will probably crack up over how puffy eveything is. I will be very happy to leave this Taxotere edema behind!

Lisa

LisaSDCA

Sara, we were posting at the same time.
I think my "official" aniversary day will be Feb.13th, the day I got rid of my tumors. Diagnosis was Jan.25th.

Speaking of last treatments - I won't be alone, as my sister is coming down for a day or two ahead of tx because that's when I'm finding I'm becoming a wimp (my stomach is getting all queasy just writing this, yeesh). But anyway, I'm wondering if those of you who have finished up did anything special for the chemo unit staff. I go to a large facility, always busy, so it's not as though I've developed close relationships with anyone there (I've had 3 different nurses over 5 tx), but they are all pleasant enough. I was thinking maybe taking in a batch of Killer Brownies, but my ideas seem to end there.

Lisa

BettyeE

I seem to be in the minority. I want this chemo junk to be over. I mean forever. I don't think I will be nervous about not getting treatment. I am a wreck everytime I have to go for treatment. I have just always felt that my cancer is gone. I think of chemo as an insurance policy and a very expensive one in more than one way. I will be finished with chemo on Aug 7 then I will have 6 weeks of rads. Then life begins again.
We might as well think postive. I am convienced it takes more energy to be negative.
Bettye

Keenie

Hi Betty,
I agree with you that we need to focus on the positive and I ask the Lord to give me His strength each day to overcome any fears of what could be. I've read that some people consider their diagnosis date as a marker of an opportunity. I kinda like that - it's been my hope to be the best testimony of God's grace through the last 6 months that I can be. When someone says, oh, you're so strong, I try to turn it around and say, not me- the Lord is giving me any strength you may see. And of course, not every day is a great day.

This sounds a little self-indulgent, and I certainly didn't intend that.

I finished my treatment today, girls, and it is exactly 6 months to the day that I had my lumpectomy. I'm going to consider Dec. 6 my official date of "finding out", but June 22 is now my date for future celebrations.

And I am so thankful to have you ladies here. I look forward to our continued chats and rants and laughs and joy. Someone also told me that cancer is a word, not a sentence. And that's how I feel today.
Love to you all,
Christine

GrammyNancy

Christine, I'm so happy for you!!!! How does it feel? I hope you have a big celebration planned. I have a glass of wine and I'm toasting you girl!

Nancy

GrammyNancy

Results of my biopsy Feb 5th, right mastectomy Feb 9th.

Nancy

maxgirl

I don't make any effort to remember negative dates -- one of my sisters was appalled that I didn't remember that the anniversary of my father's death fell on Father's Day -- but it will be hard to forget that my lumpectomy was on Valentine's Day during a raging ice and snow storm.

Count me among those who is heartily glad to end chemo. I swear sometimes I am just as afraid of the long-term effects of the treatment as I am of metastasis.

L-glutamine has been great for me, Marshabel. I had a much harder time with neuropathy with AC, because I didn't start the L-g until right before I started Taxol. My onc told me that based on the studies, I should take 30 mgs a day (15x2) for a week starting on the day of treatment, but I usually started the night before. I mixed it with Carnation Instant Breakfast -- keep stirring a lot while you're drinking it -- and I couldn't taste it at all.

My nails have taken a beating during Taxol, but I've managed to hold onto them. Maybe it's the L-g or maybe because I read somewhere here not to cut the nails. I finally did, but I left a big margin of white area. It's kind of creepy because now they bend and warp instead of break off.

Neulasta didn't bother me until I started Taxol. Jacque posted somewhere that an onc said the pain could be an allergic reaction. So this last time I took Benedryl, and though I had the Taxol joint pains, I didn't have the shooting pains through the bones from the Neulasta.

Keenie: Congrats on being done, done, done!

maxgirl

My sister sent me a Hallmark card that she couldn't believe.

The front says:
"No one said it would be easy to lose your hair.
But knowing you
you'll find a way
to turn this situation around
and use it
as a badge of honor,
a sign to the world that
your treatments are working."
Inside --
"And when this is all behind you
and your hair grows back,
you'll be able to say with assurance
that every day is a good hair day."

I wonder what they have for lumpectomies and mastectomies.

Marshabel, MissS: I've been having trouble with the blurry vision with Taxol, too. But my right eye and nostril have been running almost constantly since my first AC. It's so embarrassing when my nose starts running without any warning, so I always have a tissue clutched in my hand. Someone on these boards said she was told it was because we don't have any nose hairs to stop it. Ewww. LOL

Cynthia: Wish I'd thought to use the glucosamine for Taxol joint pain. It makes sense that it would help.

Just a reminder for anyone who takes a prescription pain killer for bone and joint pain. Don't forget your Colace, too. I took Vicodin just at night for two nights, but forgot about the Colace. It wasn't pretty.

Welcome back, Sara. That's the first time I've heard of tongue involvement, aside from the burnt tongue sensation. There are so many weird side effects!!

Keenie: Maybe one way for us all to keep involved with this thread post-treatment is to encourage each other on the low-fat diet and exercise. Right after my diagnosis, I read about the WINS study, which found that a low-fat diet seems to cut the rate of recurrence/mets, so I immediately cut down to 25g a day until chemo started. (Lost 12 pounds over 6 weeks.) Now that my less sore mouth is allowing me to eat more normal foods, I want to get back to more fruits and veggies, whole grains, etc. Also I was exercising regularly before treatment, but it went by the wayside during chemo. I'm just beginning to get going again.

Lisa: I had one onc nurse the whole time, and I got him a Borders gift card just because we discussed books a lot, and I felt I got the best treatment from him. I didn't feel obliged to get him anything, though. Something like brownies seems like a good thing when it's a group you want to thank.

Cynthia1962

Hi fellow cruisers,

I have a se that's worrying me (I had Taxotere on Tuesday). The right side of my mouth and lips feel like they're burning. This morning, it felt more tingly, but now it's more of a burning feeling. Is this what is meant by the burnt tongue feeling? How bad does this get and how long does it last? Is there anything that can be done for this? Is it a sign that I'll be breaking out in mouth sores soon?

Thanks for you help. I really appreciate it.

Cynthia

maxgirl

Cynthia -- It sounds like what I've had with my mouth, only mine was all over. For a quick fix, try gargling with baking soda and warm water every couple of hours. You may need a prescription for it, though. Magic Mouthwash is the most used, I believe. It contains benedryl, lidocaine and something else. My onc nurse had me try Gelclair, which I liked better. Takes yucky but it soothed my mouth for longer periods of time and didn't make it feel weirdly numb like the Magic Mouthwash.

You may get sores, but not necessarily. I had some sores -- mostly with the A/C -- but mainly just the burning sensation.

Avoid spicy and acidic foods for a while. Oh, and drink, drink, drink.

Hope this helps.

Angelflight

Hi ladies,

Just trying to catch up on all the great posts. I've had a big setback but fortunately it's only temporary. I contacted an infection in the left breast and armpit area with fluid build-up and even though on anti-biotics it doesn't seem to be going away. The surgeon said it probably wouldn't get better for about 4 weeks. Yuck!!! Anyway it's nothing I can't handle or stand right now.

My DS's 16th Birthday was this past Wednesday and the hubby and I took all the kids and grand-kids and a couple of their friends to Disneyland. We left on Tuesday and came home yesterday. It was a lonnnnggggg 2 days but I love seeing the grandkids and watching them running around having fun.

I've been suffering terribly with my allergies lately and my eyes seem to constantly be running along with my nose. I've taken everything over the counter and every time the Dr. prescribes something it seems like I have to wait forever for an approval for it if it comes through at all. I've been waiting 9 days at present and more miserable with the allergies than the infection right now. Don't bother suggesting anything for it though since I have just about anything ever made over the counter and nothing works......lol

It's great to hear that some of you are finally finished up with your Chemo. I applaud you all. My last TAC will be this next Wednesday and I will be done for good. No rads but will have to do Armidex after that but not sure how soon. I'm terrified of the bone and joint pain that goes along with the hormone inhibitors and pray that I can stay on it with no problems. I hear of so many women who have to discontinue it.

Those of you talking about your hair regrowth it's the Biotin that is supposed to help make the hair come back thicker. I hear it works well with the hormone inhibitors as well since those seem to make the hair thin again. I have mine here and ready to go as soon as the onc says it's all clear. Got mine in the Vitamin section at Wal-Mart.

Jacques,
Glad to hear you're staying with us. Mets is no fun I'm sure and quite hard to deal with mentally I'm sure. But know that you're loved by us all and we'll be there for you and pray for your well being. I'm curious as to what's been going on with the wedding plans????

Love,
Angel

Keenie

Hi Max,
You are so right about the diet and exercise component of the rest of our lives. Before I was dx, I had lost the 20 pounds from having our daughter. (She is turning 13, btw!) Anyway, I'm glad I was in the right head space about my eating and exercising, cos now everytime I'm too lazy to get going, I say, Cancer Hates Exercise! That sorta spurs me on. . .

The Hallmark card was interesting. What about people who don't lose their hair during chemo? Maybe they would think that their tx weren't working.

I may have already posted this (chemobrain), but my rad onc said to me on Wednesday, now, please remember to keep your breast out of the sun for at least 2 weeks and then always remember to put on 45 SPF. I looked at him and said, don't worry, I'm already blinding my neighbours with my bald head and my white legs. I wouldn't dream of flashing my little booby.

I guess he thinks we live in the South of France and not the South of CANADA.
Christine

playwriter

ha! Keenie, that is so funny!

whitecotton

hello girls! i am alive! My second tx of toxatere put me in the hospital again but only for a bit this time. I have been to sick to get online until now. missed you all. I have one week of feeling good before 3rd and last tx of taxotere. I cry every time I think of July 4. tx ment date. I know I will make it but just can't bare to think of going through this one more time.
shout outs tomorrow hopefully.
night
Melissa

playwriter

melissa, so sorry to hear about yr trouble with taxotere! you can do it -- you are strong, and God is with u, strong and mighty to save.

rosebud1962

Come on Whitecotten, you can do this. We have had the same tx since the beginning and the end is near. My last is June 3. The 4th is our Independence day from chemo! You can do it...Hugs Rosebud

GrammyNancy

Melissa, so sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. Only one more....you can do it.....you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Nancy

jacqniel

Chemo is so nasty as the SEs keeps getting worse with each tx - BUT just envision it chomping up any stray cancer cells and keeping you safe. Just think how good you feel during your 'good' (I know this is relative) week, then think about how you will feel the week after that with no chemo/rads - and the week after that! There will come a day when you will be doing something around the house or you are out shopping and you will suddenly think - 'Wow! I feel great! I feel better than I have in months!' The funny thing is, a few months later you will have the same revelation! As you climb out of chemo/rads land you don't realize just how bad you felt until you feel so much better!
So the moral is - hang in there ladies. You WILL feel better and you WILL get your life back. Believe this and don't ever let your treatments get the best of you. Life is just too precious!

Keenie

Hey Melissa,
You can do one more, girl! We Canadians may be known as nice and polite, but when it comes to bc, we're kicking its butt!

Praying for you to have the strength for that last tx.
Christine

HollyHopes

Melissa,

The last treatment is tough. You know what's coming and you are dreading it. I felt exactly the same way and it didn't seem to help me that everyone else was saying "o..yahoo...you are done!!" I still felt like SH*T.

But now - 8 days later I actually feel good. YOu will too, though you have to go through hell first. I am right there with you girl...

Anonymous

Melissa,
I am so sorry that you are having to be hospitalized after each taxotere tx! That would make me cry, too. I would cry all the way to the cancer center and plop down my hiney and belly up to the bar. I would think over and over, "This is my last one. This is my last one!" You can do it.... we are all rooting for you and praying for you.

Thursday is my tx#8 and last! I hope I never have to get chemo again. I hope it did its job.

Holly,
I am glad you're feeling good. You have really been through a rough time, too.

Keenie,
That is hilarious about the warning you got for your breast. You sure tickle my funny bone!

Cynthia,
I hope you're feeling better. It's odd that you're hurting on just one side like that. The left side of my face has hurt all though chemo. It always makes me feel weird. That is my mastectomy side. *shrug*

Maxie,
I love that Hallmark card. I wish I could find good ones like that. My nose goes back and forth from being crusted and dry to dripping. I think it's the Herceptin, that's a convenient thing to blame it on. I'm glad to hear you're getting your energy back.

Nancy,
Wow, you got your biopsy results only four days before your mastectomy? I got my biopsy results Nov. 11 and my lumpectomy Jan 3 (and even then, it wasn't enough).

Lisa,
Thanks for mentioning a gift for the cancer nurses. I had not even thought of it. I have had different ones, so I think I'll do brownies or fruit or something to share.

Sara,
Good luck with your last tx. I don't feel too funny about finishing chemo, but I have rads and a year of Herceptin to do. I will probably feel very strange after that.... I totally understand what you mean.

I have a friend from the beach coming with her son to spend the night tomorrow night because they have to be at VT early in the morning on Tuesday. So I guess I am now forced to clean. It's a good thing I just had company last weekend, so the house isn't TOO dirty yet.

I guess I better get some sleep.

Goodnight ladies.

Miss S

PS BTW I forgot who asked me if my sons looked like me (sorry), but the younger one does. The older one looks like his dad.

GrammyNancy

Bar Reservations June 25 - June 29

Monday:

Tuesday: Bettye (#2 FEC), GrammyNancy (LAST ONE!!!)

Wednesday: Marshabel (#2 Tax), LisaSDCA (LAST ONE!!!), Angel (LAST ONE!!!)

Thursday: MissShapen (LAST ONE!!!), Dmknanny (LAST ONE!!!),

Friday:

5 graduates this week...Allelulia girls...God's speed!

BettyeE

I am so excited that so many of you are finishing the chemo this week. Boy will I be glad when Aug 7 gets here.
I just have to share this card with yall. I got it from my neice and she nailed it for me.
FRONT
They say things can only get better.
They say every dark cloud has a silver lining.
They say into each life some rain must fall.

INSIDE THE CARD
Who the H*** are they?"
And what gives them the right to say that?

I'll be saying this to everybody I meet tomorrow.

Keenie

Okay, that card made me laugh right out loud! Hilarious! I'm going to share its message to lots of people too!
Love to all who are sitting at the bar - some even at "last call"!
Christine

HollyHopes

5 people finishing up chemo this week - amazing! we realy ARE getting through this nightmare....peaceful, gentle thoughts and love for all of you at the bar this week....