report on my ex

vmd

Dear friends:

I posted last week regarding my ex-wife's recent diagnosis of breast cancer. Many of you were very supportive and offered excellent advice. You had requested a report on her scans. Thankfully, her scans were apparently all negative. Considering the fact she had a large tumor at diagnosis, I was concerned that the cancer had spread beyond the axcillary nodes. Also, the tumor had actually shrunk from the last examination. She also said that the sentinel node appears to be the only one that is enlarged, but I'm assuming the doctor has not performed a biopsy on the sentinel node because he has suggested AC in order to reduce the size of the tumor before removal. This means we don't really know how many nodes may be involved. However, under the circumstances, it was the best we could have prayed for. We think this is a miracle. My ex also told our daughter and she responded favorably. My continuous worry is that my daughter will keep many of her fears inside and not discuss these with mom.

My ex will start AC on Monday, and I pray she will tolerate it well, even though I have read that this type of treatment is quite hard on the body. She had her port installed yesterday.

cowgirl

VMD,
Kids get a feeling of too much information as far as Cancer goes. They still want to be kids whether their parents are sick or not. I would encourage you to allow her to talk about it when she wants to, unless she seems very depressed she is just processing her relationship to her mom and cancer. About 6 months after I was diagnosed a teacher in my son's school was dxed, he took it upon himself to pass her class many times a day, yet never speaking to her. It was his way of dealing with her cancer. Every kid is different and I personally think they are much better at this than adults are. Finally he spoke to me about it, then he went and talked to her. She is doing great now. He knew the day she left and the day she came back, the teacher was grateful for his caring ways.

What I am trying to say is most kids do so well, all you have to do is be available and watch for signs of depression or acting out. Most kids do get angry, they have a right to. None of my kids were depressed, but all three got angry at different times.

Wish your ex luck from me, and I will continue to pray for yawl!

vmd

cowgirl:

Yes, I'm hoping a child's emotional flexibility means they will rebound well after such difficult news. I worry about both my daugter and my ex constantly, however. I have heard the first chemo treatments are the worst, so I'm praying that she will tolerate the treatments as best as one can. Thank you for your prayers and I will keep you in mine also.

mags

Hi vmd, just to let you know that I am keeping track of your wife's progress too. Sorry I can't give any advice - no children and no chemo. I was one of the lucky ones that didn't have to do it. Now if she does radiation then I can give you practical advice. I'll keep looking out for you.
Hugs
Mags

vmd

Thank you Mags. I'll keep posting then and keep you all updated.

csp

vmd,
My sister had a real hard time with Chemo , but not everyone does. I think she had just about every side effect in the book ! Helping out with your daughter I am sure is going to be such a relief for your ex wife . My sister did AC/T dose dense
and it was hard, but she is ned TODAY ! Keeping you all in my prayers the chemo does it's job shrinking the tumor. Happy to hear her scans were good too.

Hugs,
Carrie

vmd

Thank you Carrie for your prayers and I will keep you in mine.

She is on Taxol only for 12 weekly sessions. So far the side-effects are minor (mostly tiredness). She started losing her hair after the third treatment and she will be wearing wigs soon. After the initial 12, the onc is recommending the AC regimen.