A Son's Note

JerseyGal

A FATHER PASSING BY HIS SON'S BEDROOM WAS ASTONISHED

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> TO SEE THE BED WAS NICELY MADE AND EVERYTHING WAS

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> PICKED UP. THEN HE SAW AN ENVELOPE PROPPED UP

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> PROMINENTLY ON THE CENTER OF THE BED. IT WAS

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> ADDRESSED, "DAD" WITH THE WORST PREMONITION, HE OPENED

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> THE ENVELOPE AND READ THE LETTER WITH TREMBLING HANDS:

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> DEAR DAD, IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET AND SORROW THAT I'M

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> WRITING THIS. I HAD TO ELOPE WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND

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> BECAUSE I WANTED TO AVOID A SCENE WITH MOM AND YOU.

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> I'VE BEEN FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BARBARA AND SHE IS

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> SO NICE EVEN WITH ALL HER PIERCING, TATTOOS, AND HER

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> TIGHT MOTORCYCLE CLOTHES.

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>

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> BUT IT'S NOT ONLY THE PASSION, DAD - SHE'S PREGNANT

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> AND BARBARA ASSURES ME THAT WE WILL BE VERY HAPPY.

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> EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T CARE FOR HER SINCE SHE IS SO

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> MUCH OLDER THAN I AM, SHE ALREADY OWNS A TRAILER IN

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> THE WOODS AND HAS A STACK OF FIREWOOD ENOUGH FOR THE

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> WHOLE WINTER.

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> SHE WANTS TO HAVE MANY MORE CHILDREN WITH ME AND

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> THAT'S NOW ONE OF MY DREAMS TOO.

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> BARBARA TAUGHT ME THAT MARIJUANA DOESN'T REALLY HURT

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> ANYONE AND WE'LL BE GROWING IT FOR OURSELVES AND

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> TRADING IT WITH HER FRIENDS FOR ALL THE COCAINE AND

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> ECSTASY WE NEED.

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> IN THE MEANTIME, WE PRAY THAT SCIENCE WILL FIND A CURE

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> FOR AIDS SO THAT BARBARA CAN GET BETTER; SHE SURE

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> DESERVES IT!!

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> DON'T WORRY, DAD, I'M 15 YEARS OLD NOW AND I KNOW HOW

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> TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. SOMEDAY I'M SURE WE'LL BE BACK

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> TO VISIT SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW YOUR GRANDCHILDREN.

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> YOUR SON, JOHN

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> P.S. DAD, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. I'M OVER AT BILLY'S

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> HOUSE. I JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE ARE

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> WORSE THINGS IN LIFE THAN MY REPORT CARD WHICH IS IN

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> MY DESK CENTER DRAWER.

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> I LOVE YOU!

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> PS: CALL WHEN IT'S SAFE FOR ME TO COME HOME

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