Blown Away

jasmine

Scenario:

You are at the office dinner party and the head of your business group is giving a speech. It is an time awkward to just get up and walk out. You suddenly have a spasm of gas and the pressure builds to agonizing levels. Do you:

A. Figure its just the human condition and 'let the good times roll.'

B. Break wind as quietly as possible and hope everyone will think it was your spouse or the co-worker in the chairs next to you.

C. Stand up suddenly and make a dash for the nearest exit.

nowheregirl

hahaha Jasmine, you cracked me up!

I would say C but I'm guilty for B.

djd

Same as Fumi - I would try for C, but have definitely pulled a "b" once or twice

KariLynn

Are you using us to fill in a Cosmo quiz??? LOL.

djd

lol @ Kari!

I was thinking the same thing (great minds,right? )

jasmine

Cosmo? Isn't that a drink? I just thought it would be some light hearted fun to see what different people would do in different situations. Play or don't play....its all good.

gwenn

I think B. People fart, Im not going to think less of a person if they fart so I figure people should not be bothered if I accidentally let one slip. Besides, like you said, maybe it was your spouse in the next chair. At Christmas we played a card game and I was stuck sitting between my boyfriend and his sister. I was right in the middle. Both of them were quietly farting up a storm. I stunk in the room and neither of them were admitting they were the cause of the smell.

Sandra1957

New Years Eve with two other couples and their kids, playing cards. The gentlemen next to me gets up and walks towards the restroom, comes back, a few seconds later, it stinks. Now I am sitting between him and my son. My son is known to let stinkers, but you do tend to recognize your families "odor". It wasn't his. Don't forget to wait a bit if you choose "C", because it might trail back with you and you'll be busted anyway.

Anonymous

If I chose C everyone would HEAR it. I'm sure as soon as I stood up it would come ROARING out! Now, that would be embarrassing!
Shirley

jasmine

Those who answered C are in line with what the ettiquete books say. Though, I have to agree with Shirley, sometimes just standing up can be disastrous in certain situations.

AlaskaDeb

LOL!!! My Dh calls me the queen of the SBD fart (silent but deadly)...I'd let them out...quietly, then look over my shoulder like "who did that"?

thanks for the laugh
Deb C

nowheregirl

Speaking of the human condition, here's some articles that you may not even believe. This shows how weird and shy people us Japanese women are.

Quote:

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Walk into the women's bathroom of practically any major department store or modern office building and you'll find that the loo comes equipped with an "Otohime." Taken from the name of a princess in a children's story, the Otohime, made by Toto Ltd, reproduces the sound of a flushing toilet to help cover up those unpleasant restroom reverberations.

An Otohime in a women's room: The black square is the motion sensor for starting and stopping the sound

Before the Otohime existed, some 90 percent of Japanese women admitted to flushing twice when they used public toilets, according to a Toto survey. Nearly all of those who did said they wanted to mask their own unflattering flatulence.

The product was first conceived 12 years ago by Suzue Endo, a Toto employee. She, too, was a double-flusher. What bothered her was the enormous amount of water that was being wasted. (On average, one flush of the toilet requires 13 liters of water.) She thought, however, that if women had some kind of a noise maker, they might not flush and needlessly waste water. That was the idea that she pitched to her bosses at Toto.

The next question was what sound effect to use. "They considered music, chirping birds and a trickling stream," said Taiki Kiyosue, a Toto employee in the sales and planning division. "But after conducting a survey of female employees, they finally settled on a flushing toilet."

With that, the Otohime was born. But the concept itself is hundreds of years old. In fact, Japanese aristocratic women may have used such noisemakers as early as the 15th century. One artifact from that period is an ornate vase with a spigot that, when opened, splashes water to drown out the urinary hiss.

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And I'm super guilty for double or triple flushing!

Sandra1957

Fumi-I want one of those!! They should be mandated in all restrooms.

MrsBee

This thread is too funny!

I would probably not try to leave the room, as movement will cause an "explosion" for me. Case in point: I'm having physical therapy for my shoulder. The therapist (a male) was putting me in the traction machine one day, and as I got on the table, a *poof!* slipped out. It was an SBD with sound effects, if you get my drift. Hard to act like it didn't happen. I think I had the presence of mind to say, "Excuse me." Then I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me. But I'm sure that's not the first time that's happened to him with a patient.

beth1225

Weeell, I pick C if I can but end with B most of the time. As an example, at my cousin's 25th anniversary party this past month, I had quite a buildup going. I knew I would never make it and let it go very quietly. Unfortunately it was an SBD and really bad. I looked around and ignored it like it wasn't me. We were in a crowded dining room so I hope I was not found out. Nobody said anything.

Of course the classic was when I was on the gyn's table fo rmy annual last year and I warned her I had some gas. She said it was OK and she would be dome in a sec. Well, she put pressure where you oughtn't in this case and before I could say anything, that was it! I am going for this year's exam and I hope she forgot about it by now!

Love and hugs,
Beth

BethNY

I would totally pick B... and I'd look at other people to make it more convincing that it wasn't me.
If you get up in the middle of someones speech, everyone's going to look.
Isn't that why they call it silent but deadly?

djd

The more I read and learn about the Japanese culture, the more intrigued and interested I become!

Fumi- one of these days I'm going to come visit, if you'll promise to give me a tour of your beautiful country

nowheregirl

Donna, of course you can come, my mate! Although I don't have that equipment in my loo. Would you mind hearing my... errrr... sound?

jetj

Heard the one about the elderly lady who says to her Doctor "I keep having silent gas emmissions that I can't control, in fact I just did one then".

The Doctor says "well dear we need to check your hearing!"

Ltb3105

There's a cute old lady cartoon going around where the lady is a patient in a doctor's office and is farting up a storm.

Doctor: "That's very good, Mrs. Jones, but we'll need to check your hearing as well....I asked you, how's your HEART?"

hehehe.

Laura