Receiving a Gift

jasmine

Okay, I'm just curious on how different people handle receiving an unwanted gift.

Scenario 1: A person you are not particularly fond of gives you a gift for the holiday or birthday. Do you:

A. Send it back and tell them it was unwanted.
B. Ignore and pretend that it never happened and don't even bother to thank them.
C. Give them a polite 'thank you' and dispose of the gift quietly?

Scenario 2: Someone gives you a gift not quite to your taste or preference. Do you:

A. Send it back and tell them its just not 'you'.
B. Ignore and pretend that it never happened and don't even bother to thank them.
C. Give them a polite 'thank you' and dispose of the gift quietly?


I probably should have created a poll for this but this will be interesting feedback.

ps123

I would pick "C" in both cases. "A and B" seem rude to me. It's the thought that counts, as they say, and that is really what you're thanking them for. I'm sure some of the gifts we give and think are perfect aren't always thought of in the same way by the recipient either. It'll be interesting to see what the responses are.

Pat

nowheregirl

C & C
But I wouldn't dispose of the gift if it were a heartfelt one. To me, it doesn't matter what the gift is. It's the thought that counts. If the gift came to me because the person wanted to show how much they care, I'd really appreciate it no matter what it was or who gave it to me.

Anonymous

C&C ... (I agree that A & B seem rude...)

I would not dispose of the gift - I may regift it or pass it on to someone else in the future ... depending on the situation - e.g. someone else really really likes it - I would give it to them...
Doreen

KariLynn

C&C

In scenario #2 if it was given to me by someone close (DH, sister, mother) I might let them know that I probably wouldn't use it and see if they'd let me exchange it. If it's obvious by looking that it can't be returned, would keep my mouth shut. And re-gift.

kimmytoo

c & c in most circumstances

(exceptions are gifts from ex-husbands-in-waiting, gifts from the office rat and gifts from the obnoxious sibling that just gifts you with something to goad you into acting ugly for an audience)

djd

C & C

beth1225

Definitely c and c. yeah, definitely. Hopefully, if it was not a particularly heartfelt gift, they included a gift receipt. Who knows, it may a re-gift that they receive last year. You gotta be careful with regifts, don't give it to someone in the same group or family. Very embarassing. Believe me, it happened to my mom!

Beth

DragonladyTina

I would accept the gift, be polite and courteous and send them a nice thank you card.

It would seem weird though because where I live and work, no one would send me a gift if they didn't truly like me. I would probably wonder what the heck was going on.

Tina

gracejon

Okay, I can not stand the suspense. So why do you ask this question?

teacher06

I agree with those who chose c c. and I'll explain.
#1 The world is smaller than we think sometimes. For example,today my chemo nurse was someone I taught in kindergarted about 20 years ago! You never know what circumstances might put you in contact with that person again. You don't have to like them, but you should be courteous.

#2 I always taught my kids growing up that you thank someone for the act giving you a gift even if you may not really like the gift. If it came from a very close and understanding friend or relative you might ask to exchange it if you felt sure you would not hurt their feelings. Don't forget...there's always going to be another occasion and if you don't want to be left out, be a grateful recepient everytime.

Debi

Anonymous

That's funny you ask. My daughter received a gift from her MIL and didn't want/need it. She asked if I wanted it. I told her no. I told her to regift it, but to be careful who she gave it to. Or she could give it to charity.
Shirley

jasmine

For those who answered C to both scenarios, you have been well brought up and are well mannered according to Ann Landers and the ettiquette books. Regifting is fine but as others stated, be careful how you regift. The goal is to make the original giver feel that their gift or the thought and act behind the gift was appreciated even if its the tackiest sweater you've ever seen.

Tina, the question was not whether the person giving the gift liked you, but rather if you liked the person giving you a gift. How do you handle receiving a gift from someone YOU don't particularly like.

Teacher, I liked your response very much. There IS always going to be another occasion. When someone I give a gift to goes out of their way to show they don't like the gift I gave or doesn't even bother to acknowledge the gift, I definitely mark them off the list for any future considerations ever. I also put them on the list of the 'ill mannered.'

DFW

I received a generous gift from one of the bco members. Even though we have never met, we chat via phone or the internet. It was totally unexpected and I called her and said, "I am going to shoot you", she said, "Oh don't do that, just give me some chocolate or something". She has a fantastic sense of humor and attitude.

I was so very appreciative but I hadn't sent her anything and I felt bad because I hadn't and she had been so thoughtful.
Thank you dear friend for remembering me, you know who you are, I won't mention your name.

Jasmine, reading between the lines, I think you may be speaking of your own experience. If so, I am so sorry that your friends were so un-gracious. You have to be very thoughtful to have done that and it is thier loss and education for you.

Doris_IN