Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

Ihopeg

Hi everyone,
I have a hard time getting on the computer with two teenagers in the house.
Today is the first day that I felt like my old self, and tomorrow is my 3rd TAC infusion. I am DREADING it. Everytime that I think of the bags hanging I get spooked.
Shorti,
I have Taxotere every three weeks. I think you asked if anyone was getting that drug.
Amera,
I have been taking Zoloft for a about three years. It helps with the crying and not feeling like yourself, but doesn't help me with the screaming and anxiety. The onc. gave me Ativan for that. I haven't had any hot flashes and haven't had my period for about 5 weeks.
Mizsissy,
I am so sorry you had the allergic reaction. I am allergic to Keflex too and alot of other antibiotics. It really makes it hard for doctors to treat us. About the only antibiotic that I can handle is Augmentin. Do they give you Decadron the day before and during your infusion to stop allergic reactions? I even have the decadron the day after, with the Neulasta. Count me in on keeping the thread after chemo! I should start rads late May early June.
I think that my hair is growing. Does anyone else have this? I still have hair on my entire head. I thought I would be shiny and hairless by now. I had to shave it a few more times since the first time.
Good luck to everyone this week in whatever you do and have an easy time to the girls getting infusions!
ilene

Rebecca

Hi Shorti...I too am taking taxotere. Off the topic, I could not help but notice the large black dog in your avatar...is that a Newfoundland? I grew up with two of those dogs!

Ilene...I am on TAC tooo (and we have the same infusion day I think...hang in there!) and I also have some hair. Not very much...I have a shiny scalp, but a little bit of very short fuzz has appeared, and it does not seem inclined to fall out. I do not have enough to warrant another buzz though. Do you actually shave it, or do you use a buzzer? I still have hair on my legs, but it is going, and I lost the hair in my armpits the first round, but it started GROWING BACK (AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH). I was pretty pissed about that...but I think it is falling out again now. Gotta hold onto those perks!

My period is now officially late for the first time since I was pregnant. I had a horrible back cramp last night, reminiscent of PMS, but still nada. With my luck I will get it as I am sitting in "the chair" later today. I spent the night alternately hot and cold...no sweats, but it was unnerving. Is that the start of hot flashes?

Well, I will be lurking around the list until lunchtime, then off for my treatment.

Rebecca

Robertin, that is the funniest website...I was HOWLING.

"Warning: Do not wear a Tit Bit with a weight onto an airplane, as it may be confiscated as a dangerous projectile. Make yourself a non-weighted travel titty instead.) "

hilarious!

Amera

Rebecca, yes I think that's the beginning of hot flashes. I really started to get them after my period started. Now I feel hot and sweaty about 3 times a day but I'm sure it will ramp up. I really hope the chemical menopause gets over and done with fast. It makes sense as our ovaries will be shut down almost immediately rather than gradually. Silver lining?

Robertin, your comando experience is giving me courage. I am going to the gym today for the first time without hair. I have been so stressed about it I have managed to find all kinds of reasons not to go. It's one of those things that becomes bigger and bigger the longer you put it off. But I feel so much better when I'm working out and I certainly cannot sit around the house until my hair grows back. Now I just have to find something to cover my head that won't fall off or look ridiculous.

ACK, hot flash coming on. Need to go strip.
Amera

robertin

Amara, good luck today. What was so inspiring to me was the story about the supreme court justice who sits on the bench and rules while being as bald as a bowling ball. If she can do it, I can teach a class, or walk on campus. The only thing I'll do is bring a comfortable hat incase my head gets cold. Oh, there were even two sisters, one was the bride and the other the bridesmaid, and both were going through chemo. On the wedding day the bride only wore the wig during the ceremony and the remainder of the day both sisters were bald. In the picture they were in their wedding/braidesmaid dresses and they were absolutely beautiful. I'm so glad I got the book.
Today is the first day after chemo. I weighted myself this morning and I gained 3.5 pounds overnight. I think that is a combination of steriods and lots of drinking. I'm dizzy and my daughter normally takes me to work today, but today she has to take an exam in Topeka and she can't. So, I'll work at home. Last time chemo hit me harder, but I'm prepared. I felt nauseated this morning and so I drank an Ensure. That helped. I have V8, I also have V8-Fusion which is a fruit/vegetable drink without any syrups added. Seems healthy. I'll also stock up on protein, and I'm going for a walk today. I am hoping to avoid the severe exhaustion that I encountered last time. Have a happy/positive day today. 3 AC's down for me, one to go.

NOLONGERREADINGORPOSTING

Nice to see all your smiling faces and not be the first one to post. I was exhausted last night after not sleeping the night before; I was worried about the infection, my PCP being out of town, and the next chemo..but now I know I can see her on Thursday, so I slept like a baby.

Ilene...sorry Zoloft isn't working. Maybe you should try another like Prozac. I never felt so positive in my life. My vet prescribed it for our aging, anxious, timid cat a few years before she died and she just blossomed. After a death in the family, DH & I were both depressed, so we tried it together. Boy, did that give a boost to our marriage!!! Then when Sissy died the ALL the cats got depressed, so at one point the entire family, including our three cats was on Prozac!!!

It turns out I am *not* allergic to Keflex, so that is good. And I actually like the Decadron the three days around the infusion. It makes me feel very strong and ready to deal with whatever.

Talk about BRAVE BALD HEADEDNESS...when I first came to this forum I met a fine lady name GSG who works in the U.S. Senate. She's on TV a lot. Well, one day she decided to go to work wigless and show off her look in front of the entire senate chamber and TV cameras. I thought she was so brave. She told me she wanted those senators to see what breast cancer looked like. Check her out, she's a very neat gal. If you go to DC sometime she might take you on a tour of the Capital Dome.

Good luck Rebecca, and the rest of you who are off for another treatment. I dread them too. But just think, this time next week you'll be feeling better and chalking another round off the board!!!

xxxooo Mizsissy

NOLONGERREADINGORPOSTING

Aladora and I share the same philosophy...take everything negative that happens to you in life and turn it into something positive. I actually think BC has done me good in a lot of ways I can get into later.

Aladaora, I love your "signature"...when life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt. What are some other sayings like this?

The cloud with the silver lining

The chinese word that defines disaster as new beginning

Any others...ANYBODY??!!

viddie

Hi all,
Robertin, Glad you are feeling good today. Loved your link.
Good luck, Amera, on your brave venture today. Maybe I will try it real soon. I just gotta get brave enough.

Good luck on your treatments tomorrow and Thursday, Rebecca, Ilene, Melia, and Amera. Good luck Friday, Lynn.

I am going away for a couple of days to Maine. My sister in law invited me with her to a meeting/convention. While she is working, I can relax, look at the ocean, read and enjoy. She will be free at night to partake in some nice meals. It should be fun. I have been looking forward to this. See you all when I get back on Saturday. I hope you all have a nice week, with all the treatments going very smoothly.
Viddie

Anonymous

Robertin - thank you for mentioning your friend with bc followed by liver cancer. My bc was completely removed with the mastectomy and my nodes were clear so I chose chemo based on my very high oncotype score. I'm always questioning the decision to do chemo as a preventative measure and keep second guessing putting my family through this based on the chance that I might get cancer again. But that story reminds me of exactly why I chose to do this and I do deep down know that it is the right choice. Thanks.

Anonymous

About keeping scarves on....

I tie mine pretty tightly and don't have many problems, but I wanted to let you all know about one that I found that is really great. When it's on it looks like a scarf - but it goes on like a cap and has a headband sewn into the front part that goes over your forehead. There is also some elastic in the back where it ties. The tie part in back is really long so it can be tied in a lot of ways. Anyway, it stays on better than anything I found and I think I've bought every type of scarf and bandana there is at this point I found it in a mastectomy bra shop and the tag says it's a "headliner." I tried to find them on the internet with no luck, but maybe a local shop that carries mastectomy bras and wigs would have them.

Anonymous

Robertin - I am in awe of you going out bald. Awesome. It takes most of my courage to go out in a scarf every day. I totally refuse to wear my wig. I am amused at the different reactions that the scarf gets. My mother seems obsessed with getting me to wear a wig. She keeps checking out new ones from her department in the hospital for me to try out. I've told her I don't like the wig, it's not comfy and I refuse to be uncomfortable for no reason - but still she keeps trying. I think it's pretty funny.

skyedivine

Wow, this board grows fast, can't afford to miss a day, I had treatments the past two days and didn't get on.
Amera, hang in there. We women have enough hormone conflict potential within us to blow up the world, if we let it. I think the advice about getting some medical help and something to take for it is very wise. You don't need this on top of regular chemo stuff!
Lynn and Rebecca, I'm starting Taxol next time and was told it is "milder" than the AC but it doesn't sound like it's been that way for you ladies. So I wonder if I should expect it to be better or not.
Robertin, you do look great bald. Can't wait to hear how your experiment went. I had an artist friend who shaved her head just to see what she would look like. When we went shopping, etc., she did get a lot of "looks" but it didn't bother her. Here it's too cold yet to go without a wig, hat or scarf, even around the house. I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to do it anyway. Kudos to you, Robertin, or should I say, hat's off! LOL - Skye

Anonymous

Mizsissy this is my gift to you today. My support group gives out jars stuffed with inspirational quotes to all new bc patients here in Charlotte. I have typed a bunch below for you. If you are interested send me a private message with your address and I'll get a jar and mail it to you.

Hope you all enjoy these...

Women are like teabags. We don’t know our true strength until we are in hot water! – Eleanor Roosevelt

Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings us, but by the attitude we bring to life.

The thing about life is that you must survive. Life is going to be difficult, and dreadful things will happen. What you do is to move along. Get on with it, and be tough. Not in the sense of being mean to others, but tough with yourself and making a deadly effort not to be defeated. - Katherine Hepburn

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh – at yourself. – Ethel Barrymore

When you are going through Hell, keep going. – Winston Churchill

What lies behind us & what likes before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. – Emerson

Be where you are – otherwise you will miss your life. – Buddha

Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things. – Henry Ward Beecher

What it to give light must endure the burning. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breath away.

I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails.

Anonymous

OK, sorry for posting way too much this morning, but just one more thing.

For those of you who will have rads. My mom is a radiation tech and has worked in radiation therapy for more than 40 years. I've been hanging out in radiation onc departments since I was a little kid. I used to go to work with her after school or when she was called in on the weekends. Anyway - if any of you have any questions I'd be glad to pass them on to her if you want.

skyedivine

Oops, I should have read more before posting. Robertin, you go girl! Very proud of you!
Mizsissy, yes, we should definitely keep this going through rads. How many pages will the forum allow us?
And let's see, my chemofog is refusing to let me remember which of you dear ladies asked how I was feeling and when the taxol and hercepetin start, but that's in two weeks. I'm feeling pretty blech but it's my own fault for overdoing it yesterday after my neulasta shot and decadron drip. I have a book due in a month and needed to take some pics, so there I was after my treatment, floundering through knee-deep snow to shoot some giant sculptures, hoping wig would not blow off. I ended up with the worst neuropathy yet, my feet and lower legs went numb so rest of day was spent in bed. Any work done today will be done on sofa or in bed with laptop.
On the topic of drinks, that is a toughie for me. The steroids irritate my esophogeal hernia so I can't have anything carbonated or acidic. I drink tea, ice water, pomegranate juice, and nettles herb tea, one cuppa joe in the morning, and whole milk. That's about it. The water tastes awful to me, too, but it's better with ice. Also sugar free popsicles are good.
Speaking of steroids. My onc said they are what make the wild hairs come in where we don't want them, such as the crazy patch on my left knee of all places. But my last leg shave has lasted 10 days now. And of course the steroids cause the weight gain too. But hey, there's just more of us to love, right? Also, I normally am an avid low-carber but I've gotten hooked on the scones made by this bakery right on my way home from treatments. They are so dense and moist, just a small piece really helps with nausea. And I try not to take the extra anti-nausea meds in the daytime so I can work without that extra drowsiness. Popcorn also seems to help that same way, I think it absorbs stomach acids.
Mizsissy, I can't think of another "make lemonade" saying off the top of my bald head but I'm sure something will occur later on. Unless it's the Bible verse about the devil intending something for evil but God turning it around for good (will have to look that exact verse up) - Skye

MrsShakur

Thank you all for the warm welcome. Thank you Mizsissy for your help in getting my picture posted on here. Your a wonderful, true and kind friend.

Mrs Shey

MrsShakur

l82jem, I have a question about Rads, what are the common side affect of radiation only to the breast area? Also one radiation treatment better than the other, like treating only the breast area vs treating the whole body?

Thanks in advance

Mrs Shey

MrsShakur

Mizsissy, that problem I told you about, it seemed to only happen when I had eaten the seafood, I was never told not to eat seafood, I baked some fish and shrimp and scallops and that night after I ate it I felt that odd feeling in my breast area, again I had it for lunch the next day and felt the same thing than it went away. Last night I had some baked chicken with gravy, corn and wipped potatoes and didn't feel that feeling since than. Makes me think it was the seafood or maybe one of the seasons I used on it. Would you agree?

Mrs Shey

Aladora

Welcome Mrs Shey...this is a lovely group of women and you will get a lot of support here!

MizSissy, I wish I had more quotes like the one in my signature. A friend of mine first said it to me and I just loved it. But here are a few quotes that you might like.

In the midst of winter, I found there was within me an invincible summer.
Albert Careb

Sweet are the uses of adversity,
Which like the toad, ugly and venomous,
Wears yet a precious jewel in his head.
William Shakespeare

It is the surmounting of difficulties that make heroes.
Louis Kossuth

I do not cast my eyes away from my troubles. I pack them in as little compass as I can for myself, and never let them annoy others.
Robert Southey

Present fears are less than horrible imaginings.
William Shakespeare

Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Unknown

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Unknown

Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs.
Unknown

Your faith in yourself is all you will ever have. Don't let anyone take it away from you ever.
Holly Marie Combs

My tears for you are like dark chocolate- bitter sweet and probably no good for me.
Unknown

Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
Murphy's Law

Bald guys (gals!)never have a bad hair day.
Unknown

Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened.
Dr. Seuss

Failure is not an option - it's a lifestyle.
Unknown

When it's dark enough you can see the stars.
Charles A. Beard

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.
Corrie Ten Boom

Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.
Bob Wells

And finally, the best one of all...

If life gives you lemons, stick them down your shirt and make your boobs look bigger.
Unknown

sharon56

rebecca : yes that is a newfounland dog and her name is Molly .She weighs 165lbs and is at my side all the time . She makes sure when anyone comes to visit that they "know" who is protecting me , she sits right in front or sits at my feet watching with her big brown eyes .
here is a better look at her

We also have a poodle charley here he is

rebecca/ Ilene : have you started the taxotere yet or do you get it along with your AC , I am getting ready for a different set of SE and hope that nausea is on the bottom of the list. Aslo I only get the taxotere not 3 types of dope next 3 visits
Mizsissy i think you have an abundance of quotes now thanks to the poets among us ! Great set of quotes ladies so many inspirations ....

hope the doggy pics are not toooo big ... but they are my only company at home when the kids are at school and hubby is at work . They are also great listeners and do not mind if I rag on them

Amera

Okay, one small step for me...I made it to the gym without passing out or dying of embarrassment. I *was* slightly nauseous before going in though. I wore a bandana with a baseball cap over it. I looked ridiculous but it worked. I chatted with the instructor before class as I always do and gave her the scoop.

I feel so much better. A) I actually did it and didn't die in the process. I worked out and need that as much for my mental state of mind as anything. c) I have energy today for the first time in weeks, D)I have a much better mental attitude after jumping that hurdle.

Why must I be so melodramatic these days? Sheesh, you'd think going to the gym was the biggest deal ever. Glad I got it over with. Next time will be easier.

Drinking gallons of H2O for tomorrow's appt. I like the idea of feeling like myself this time next week.
Amera

carolinin

Hi I have about 12 dark hairs left but all over my head i have light hairs about 1/4th inch (max) they made it thru ac #3 without losing so who knows, they might stay. like you i thought i would be bald!

Carol

carolinin

opps I meant your fourth ac...carol

Anonymous

I took the dogs out for a walk today at a nearby whitewater park while my hubby was doing some rock climbing. Walking the dogs was awesome - so relaxing and great to be outside on a sunny warm day. Afterwards I stopped to watch the guys climb and a woman stopped to watch with me. We talked for about 20 minutes. A total normal conversation and she never once looked at me funny or asked about the scarf, etc. It was very refreshing to get such a normal response from a stranger. No pity, no questions, nothing. I didn't think it possible.

MrsShey - I'll talk to my mom about the rads and let you know.

kids123

You look great!

Anonymous

shorti - Molly is so gorgeous. When I was a kid in Halifax I always thought I'd get a newfoundland dog when I grew up. But - it just wouldn't work here in NC. I'm glad you get so much comfort from your dogs. Pets are great - they could care less about what we look like, etc.

carolinin

Just got back from oncol. Raised some serious new questions:
Taxotere-I asked her to justify why I should take it. Onc said its really up to me (not what she said intially)She neither recommends to take or not to. Here is what she said: taxotere is indicated for lymph positive but the studies are not completed to indicate taxotere for node negative bc. In a few years, onocs will know, yes, I should have or no it wouldn't make a difference.
INPUT? ANyone been at this crossroads?

input? anyone been at this crossroad??
HEART/Blood pressure. My bp is normally about 140 /75
I have watched the lower number climb climb climb to where is is consistantly 90+. Asked about it and today was told to go on bp meds. I want to be sure this is permenant. Anyone had this issue or any insight?

thanks!!! Carol
4th AC tomorrow-YEAH!

Lynn12

Good Afternoon,

Well,I'm in the office and it's going fine. Have gotten some extra smiles and hellos and a few awkward looks but overall handle-able. The HR director is by no means a shy person. Asked me if I like the shape of my head, if I have any hair, etc. It was fine because I feel comfortable talking with him anyway. Robertin, I told him about you and how I hope to gain courage for going commando sometime soon!

I'm still sort of stuck on how to answer the 'how are you'. I hate saying I'm fine because I'm not! So I've been saying 'hanging in there' and it appears to somewhat work in that people understand but don't feel like they need to probe.

Rebecca, I know what you mean, I had to shave legs and pits the other day, but I think that's the last time. Athough my arm hair appears to be hanging on. Is there a rhyme or reason?

I go for TC #3 on Friday and we're supposed to have bad weather here in New England. I told dh there is no way I want to postpone because of weather, we're driving there, 'nuff said!

I don't remember who asked about Taxotere (sorry, there are so many messages to read). I haven't had AC so can't compare but TC is definitely not easy for me. I only get nausea the first night but I'm pretty much down for 5 days after tx with chemo fog/yucky feeling and get severe bone/joint pain around day 13. I'm pretty sure the bone pain is from the taxotere and will ask Onc about it on Friday.

Lynn

NOLONGERREADINGORPOSTING

Thank you so much, Aladora and Jan. I loved ALL your quotes, but there was one I liked especially, which is now going to be part of my signature (see below). You both found it.

I also really liked: Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things....I've always thought so myself. Jan...your signature is wonderful, and Aladora...I love yours..which I'd thought of it.

I've been out all day; went to Ann Arbor and had a nice afternoon getting inspired by one of my favorite art teachers and a former student of mine. He look at all my little pochades, some of which I thought were hopeless, and gave me some constructive criticism. I think I am going to paint in oil now rather than watercolor, which is a little too much for my tired chemo brain.

HAIR: I shaved mine off but it never all fell out. The back of my head is covered with dark 1/4 inch hair. The top is almost bald, on the right side I've got quite a few white hairs, some stray ones have grown as much as four inches since mid-January. The other side looks about the same in color, except the longest stray hairs are only an inch. Wierd. I don't think I'll be wearing this hair for a long time.

Amera: that was a GIANT step. I am so proud of you. We should all do half as well.

Mrs. Shey ... It's so nice to see your beautiful smiling face. And I'm going to tell a secret; Mrs. Shey is 44 years old. Can you believe it?!!!! Geesh, I wonder how old you're going to look when you're my age? 32?

On continuing this thread with Rads...what we could do is truncate this thread and just all agree to go to a second; maybe we could call it January Chemo Starters Part Two (to make the pages less burdensome to work through). But it is clear we like and group the way it is and want to keep it as it is. M&T, what do you think? There are some Chemo groups whose threads are still going 4 or 5 years now.

Jan..there is no such thing as posting too much..how else can you have an interactive conversation?!! BTW, I forgot to mention how much I liked the teabag quote.

Finally, yet *another tangle* with the BAD NURSE, who I'll call Nurse B. I tried to re-schedule a shot on Monday because DH called to tell me the roads were too dangerous (winter storm). When I tried to reschedule, they wouldn't do it, but I got a message from her at a time when it was too late to make the appointment that my proposal was unacceptable. Then I asked my husband to call for me and schedule an additional shot for today in Ann Arbor (where I was meeting my art group). She called me this morning to let me know that she hadn't ordered the shot for today; instead she'd decided to give me an appointment for tomorrow in Brighton..I had to argue and argue to get her to change it. When I called back right before leaving, she still hadn't fixed things. I did ask her if I could have more Nuepogen shots because of my infection and low WBC. and her response was a smug, there were only six shots ordered so that's all you get!!!!! GRRRRRRRR.....!! Can't wait to see my PCP on Thursday.

Mizsissy

*******

Life is not measured by the breaths we take but the moments that take it away.

Anonymous

One more quote for you:

God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try. - Mother Teresa