Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

Anonymous

Joni - I'm sorry that you didn't get better news. When will the decision be made about radiation?

luckymel

Oh, Joni, you must have posted after I started my post - glad to hear you don't need chemo, but so sorry that there is progression.  I know you're not anxious to have radiation, but it might be worth it if it could make you more comfortable.  I think you're right to avoid the heavy meds as long as you can, but if you do find you need them, by all means take them.  Nobody gets extra credit for suffering.  I'm hoping it'll just turn out to be arthritis anyway.

As if your day weren't stressful enough, a basement flood?  Hope there isn't much water damage, and the leak is easily fixed. 

Hugs to you.

Amera

Well Joni, I'm sure hearing the news is better than waiting for the news. Now you at least have a game plan (sort of). For what it's worth, my dad was having tremendous rib and shoulder pain from his lung tumor prior to radiation. He is now pain free. I wonder if that would help with the pain? I hear you on not wanting to take strong narcotics. They make me feel terrible and out of it. It's good to know they're out there should you need them.

Amera

mer1957

Joni, my BIL got quite a bit of pain relief from radiation to his spine, so consider it.  I'm praying that you are holding up with all of this stress.

Oh Mel, it's okay to vent!  We can only be strong for so long.  We here understand.  Where is your pain at?  Did you make an appt with the onc?

Thinking of you Lynn, hope things are going well.  I hear Boston is really getting hit with snow.  Viddie - I hope you found someone else to shovel.  We are suppose to get hit Sat night into Sunday 6 -12 inches.  My DS#2 comes home from college tomorrow - hope the roads aren't bad and DS#1 comes home next week.  His fiancee was suppose to drive in Sun from Chicago but I hope she waits an extra day if this storm hits.  Hugs

Nancyab

Mel, your feelings resembled mine weeks ago before I got my Effexor issue straightened out. I would pick fights with everyone, I was really bitter about still feeling worn out and everyone "expected" me to "get over it",Just because treatment was over they figured I should be back to normal, and I was still dealing with fear, fatigue and getting to know the new me. It was too much and made me resentful. Since my meds are level and working I feel better but my Dr. still wants me to see someone to talk with. It will take me a while though to have a trust level speaking to a professional. I'm not ready to do that just yet. Kind of like the feeling you get when having to go look for a job, who the heck would hire me looking the way I do and with a medical past as mine? Not comfortable at all going there.

Joan, I hope you find relief, and if rads can do that, I'd do it. I can't take narcotic painkillers either, make me queasy, just thinking of it.

Caya

Joni - sorry to hear about your progression, but it sounds like radiation could help. Please know we are all pulling for you.

Mel - sorry to hear things have been a bit rough.  I hope you see your onc. soon and she will be able to give you some answers. I think we are sometimes too hard on ourselves and forget the tremendous strain we have been under - physically, mentally and emotionally. We want to "get back" to our former lives - but I don't know if I'll ever be able to. My onc. and BS keep reminding me the toll my body has taken (my mastectomy anniversary is Dec. 18th - me and Jan)  I can tell you that going down for Herceptin every 3 weeks is a big reminder for me. But of course I am grateful for it...

Mary - I hope everyone arrives safely.  We are expecting that storm as well, and wouldn't you know I am scheduled for a breast MRI on Sunday afternoon at 2 p.m.  I will probably phone tomorrow and reschedule.  It's just routine, and I don't want to kill myself and the DH shlepping downtown in a raging blizzard.

Lynn and Tina - please try to check in, we all want to hear that you are both okay.

I had a quiet day today - I napped for nearly 2 hours this afternoon, that's what I usually do the day after my Herceptin infusion.  My shoulder/chest/back pain is pretty well gone, but I did take a naproxen this morning. I try not to use the percoset unless I really need it, and believe me I really did earlier.

Have a great weekend everyone, and stay safe from the storms.

sharon56

joni :

Take care girl , trusting that you come to the right decision , taking the "heavy" pan meds myself not perc but the oxycodin for muscle and joint pain . My gp has me scheduled for an mri on my spine , but that will not happen until march . She thinks its my nerves causing the pain actual nerves radiating from my spine . I have to manage it somehow cause like Mel says I too am having a hard time "trying " to get over treatments . I think we are all having the same issues , now that "active" treatment is over . Things are starting to pop out of the woodwork ....... and I have to remind myself too that its ok ..... that yep its alright to feel weird , to feel like a fish in a fishbowl trying to escape .....

I try and look outside the confines of my life , shake my head and get a new perspective .We tend to internalize alot and "look" at what else may be out there .......

Soooo all get on down ............... the storm is coming here to get us tonight we are expecting snow .....

Check out my doggies doin the elf dance

luv u all ............... 

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1345826679

wvgirl

Hello  I will also be starting my chemo in Jan. I go to see my Onc. Tuesday the 18 to get results of Lymph Node biop. I ER/PR Her 2 Neg  size is about 1.5 by 1.3 Ccm had MRI Bone Scan and Cat Scan Muga Scan all came back good.My Onc. is saying at this time probably Stage II this will depend on my biop results. Blessings to all Have a Wonderful Christmas.

TPPJ

Hello Everyone,

Joni, sorry to hear your news...  I'm glad the advil is helping.  Personally, I'm not afraid of pain meds and if/when I need them, I will.  Amera's dads story sounds encouraging and I hope you get the same relief if you do rads.  I guess this just goes to show the whole "chronic" nature of this disease.  I swear, it's as if I expect to need more tx at some point.  God forbid you say that to anyone outside our world, you may be labeled "negative".  My cousin keeps telling me about how positive her MIL is (has ovarian cancer) and how that's just key...maintaining the almighty "positive attitude".  I sometimes feel like slapping her as NOBODY can be jovial 24/7, esp. those with CANCERRRRRRRRRR!!!  I hate to say it, but people who make these kinds of statements will never understand unless they get BC or similar.  That said, thank God we all have each other..for both our up and down days.  (It seems that some people just can't handle down days...it's easier for them if we are chipper little barbies all the time.)

As for me, I am feeling wayyyyyyyy better but still very paranoid to overdo it.  I have gone out during the day w/my mom, but I'll take tons of "bench" breaks, or I'll let her run in and do an errand and I'll wait in the car.  It's like role reversal.  But, I def. feel much stronger than I had.  I see the onco. and cardio. next week.  I need to get back on tamoxifen stat, I feel.  I think I mentioned I'm too afraid to restart Effexor.  Kind of missing it.  Not sure what I'll do about the ovarian cysts.  I can't ever imagine undergoing anesthesia again, EVER.  I am scared for life.  Caya, Skye, Viddie, any of you herceptin girls...learn from me and don't do any surgeries.  I had no idea herceptin was affecting me like that.  In retrospect, I am recalling mild shortness of breath, but never in a million years would I have thought this.  The dr's all said it was A-OK to have surgery while in herceptin.  I just feel so lucky to be alive, have this holiday season.  I rec'd a 42nd b'day card from my oldest friend the other day and I felt jinxed to have opened it because I won't be 42 until next week.  That's how fragile I feel life is now.  Every day is literally a gift.

Mel, feel better...  you sound much like I felt just before I got on the effexor.  Just because we have BC, the other life stresses don't go away.  And I think you go through tx on autopilot energy and once you are done, your guard comes down, you get emotional, etc.  All very normal stuff.  OK...enuf of my soapbox psychology.

Mary, happy to hear your SIL made out well.  I have a cousin, about 38, who needs a kidney...he had been doing OK but had a rapid decline.  His sister, age 41, will be the donor.  Brave girl:  she has two young boys.  Such scary stuff.

TPPJ

Hi WV girl.  Best of luck w/your upcoming treatment.  Our group here actually began treatment last January.  You will be able to bounce anything off us, becuase one of us sure to have experienced it.  Glad you are HER2 negative.  That's great!

Amera

Well, I am now one week into my low dose of Prozac. I take 20 mg/day for two weeks. I am still feeling angry/emotional about the usual things, but my reactions are far more appropriate. For instance, I no longer shriek at my children for not cleaning up their rooms, my husband still drives me batty with stuff but it's not WWIII. I feel so much more in control.

My thoughts are that I will need this dose all the time. I am really wondering what will happen once I stop. I do not know the half life but am hoping some will linger even after I'm done. I really wish I'd tried this earlier. I might have saved me those violent mood swings I was experiencing right after treatment ended.

I hear all of you on the "trying to get back to normal." Everyone expects one of two reactions. You are slotted into the "nervous wreck/negative" group, or the "everything is fine/positive" group." I think most of use go back and forth to some extent.

Before I met with the breast surgeon on Monday, I stopped at the 7-Eleven to get a soda. I felt this overwhelming nausea when I walked in. I then remembered that the last time I was there, it was right after my diagnosis. The sick feelings came flying back.

Okay, enough of my rambling. I was just reading posts and once again, feel such a closeness with all of you. I always feel like I'm the only one feeling this or that and then wala, someone posts about feeling just the same way. I am, once again, so thankful for you all.

XXOO Amera

TPPJ

Amera, you are the first person I've known to do an off/on regimen of an antidepressant.  If you did stop, I bet it wouldn't be a tough transition for you considering that you are kind of doing that right now.

I stopped my effexor cold turkey in the hospital and I didn't notice any difference.  But...   now I'm remembering that you mentioned 1/2 life.  I wonder if I've dipped past the 1/2 life phase yet.  Maybe not.  I also stopped tamox. cold turkey.  Haven't had a one since Nov. 29th.  I figured I'd be experiencing some major mood swinging but I haven't.  (Some in this house may beg to differ.  LOL!)

luckymel

Thanks, everyone, for understanding me - I echo Amera's sentiments and cherish you all, and am so grateful for your friendship.  My "other" friends are great, and supportive in many different ways, but with them I still am unable to truly express how I feel, because it is perceived as being negative - or maybe I am just not done with pretending to be ok with everyone else.  I know my dh has a hard time with those "bad" feelings.  Anyway, thanks, I love you all.  I'd never make it without you.  I am on an antidepressant already, by the way - Lexapro.  That is possibly why I was such a cheerful, even-keeled cancer patient.  I don't really think this is a depression problem - I'm just scared about ending up a cripple.  I don't care about the breasts so much, I just want my previous level of health and fitness back.  My 25-year old level, if possible.

Tina, why are you afraid of resuming your Effexor?  Did they tell you it was bad for you?  I'm not aware of any cardiac risks with it, but I don't know them all.  I do know they put a lot of heart patients on antidepressants, so it can't be that bad.

Sharon, loved the doggies - too cute.  Thanks for the words of support, too, and I hope you didn't get tooo much snow.  Hope you can stay in this weekend.  We have our windows open right now, but it is supposed to get down to 30 F. tonight so it will be a two cat one dog night on our bed, I'm sure!

Everyone have a safe weekend.  Time for me to get busy on my Saturday errands.  Love you all.

viddie

Hi all,



Tina,

You and Mel eloquently wrote how I feel about the outside world. They want us to wear a happy face 24/7. I am so glad you are feeling better and you are trying to not overdo it. It is so easy to “do too much” this time of the year.



Joni,

I am sorry to hear your news. I am crossing my fingers it is arthritis. I am glad the advil is helping. We are all here for you. Hugs.

Caya,

I am glad to hear your shoulder/back/chest pain had subsided.

Melia,

Congratulations on going wigless. A major milestone!!

Rebecca,

It is so exciting when we like the way our clothes fit!! I am glad you are happy with your dress.

Mary,

How is your SIL? Did your DS make it home? I only shoveled a little bit, just my steps and I took the snow off my car. Our snowblower finally started working in the late afternoon.

Mel,

I would definitely see a doctor. He might have some ideas to help you. Your feelings are so normal and justified. It is all so frustrating not to feel “fixed” and painfree after all the treatments we have had. That’s not too much to ask. This whole year is just not fair!!! Hugs.

Lynn,

How are you? I am sending positive thoughts your way. Hugs.



It is supposed to snow again tonight and tomorrow. Jan, I want to be in North Carolina right now.



My dd got her first acceptance e-mail letter from a graduate school for the Direct Entry Nurse Practitioner program. It is in Richmond, Va. I wouldn’t mind living there either. Lol. We are so excited for her. She applied to 5 other colleges, so it is too early to tell where she will end up. As anxious as I have become, I was worried she wouldn’t get in anywhere. Now I know at least she has a seat somewhere and the two courses she took this summer were not in vain.

Gotta help my dh take the Christmas tree inside. Yes, I have a Christmas tree. Oy.

Viddie

TPPJ

Congrats to you AND your daughter, Viddie!  That is fabulous news.  I so want to encourage my daughter to do something financially worthwhile, like NP or something.  (I know it needs to be personally fulfilling too but I def. feel a comfortable level of $ security is required to be happy/not stressed.)

Mel, I am afraid of going back on Effexor because of the racy feeling it gave me.  It subsided but I'm just petrified to risk that, afraid I'll have another heart attack.  I'm telling ya...  BC is so not my issue anymore. 

Viddie, enjoy your tree...  you've got the best of both worlds (to quote Hannah Montana!)...party central all December!

Mizsissy

Lots of major things happening here...Tina's heart attack, Lynn's surgery, and Joni...!!!

Tina, I completely understand how you feel.  For years and years I had a heart problem and frequent attacks of arrythmia which left me frightened and oxygen depleted.  Then it was cured completely by cardiac ablation, I felt like I got my life back...believe me, I'd rather have BC than heart problems.  Hopefully though, your experience on the operating table was a reaction to the anesthesia and other things that were going on and not a permanent results of chemo.

It angers me when I see women going through experiences like yours that are not a result of illness, but a result of treatment.

Lynn, congratulations on getting through surgery.  I am so sorry you have to be dealing with this so long after your original dx..but I understand many of you here still have major surgeries to deal with.

Joni, I am so sorry to hear of your progression, but at least it's just to the bone...bone mets from what I hear progress very slowly.  I am wondering if the cyber knife would be any help..Also, what is the news on DCA in Canada?  Last I heard, it is standard therapy for women in Toronto.

Well, I've been out of treatment for so long I'm practically feeling "normal" again.  Not the old "normal" but a new normal OK.  I had an aunt who had BC a few years ago; when I talked to her last she told me she'd forgotten all about it...that's my goal, that's why you don't see me much.

It may get me sometime, but in the meantime I'm not going to think about it! 

Anybody hear anything from Aladora?

Mizsissy 

IowaCindy

Holy buckets, if you miss a few days it's like you missed the world! So much news.

Joni, you are in my prayers.

Tina, glad you are doing well. I can imagine that 'BC is so not my issue anymore'!

Amera and Mel, you're both right. Even with the best intentions and forward thinking mindset, there are those moments that surprise and sometimes dishearten you. And it's hard to explain that to someone who's not gone through it.

My GYN says everything looks good. He did use a smaller speculum. He seemed to think that it was the result of the declining estrogen but he's forgotten that he uses a smaller speculum every year. My plumbing is small. I have to say my cervix was REALLY tender. Ow!!!!! He says that's also the result of estrogen-deprivation.

We did talk about watching for adverse effects of Tamoxifen. "Oh, you've been reading on the internet." He says while he used to routinely do endometrial biopsies, it's just not done like that anymore. It's a watch and wait for any signs or symptoms because it just doesn't happen that often.

He also griped about the oncologists' ban on the use of any estrogen. "They just don't take into account the different types. But I'm sure she won't want you to have any. Someday it's going to swing back around and women wil be able to use some estrogens again." 

Then yesterday I saw my dentist. I laughed on the way home thinking of the two appointments. Kinda gives a special twist to "open wide".

I'm sick of winter already. We had 4 inches over night when we were supposed to get 1 inch. And it's been flippin' cold. Next week is to be in the 30s. I can't wait! Of course, then everything will be sloppy and the dogs will drag it into the house. Some  days there's just no pleasing me! I think this will be a long winter.

I've got to go clean up for an evening out to the Omaha Symphony's Christmas show. I'm going with some of the friends who have been so supportive this last year. It will be a good evening.

Happy weekend, everyone!

Cindy 

mer1957

Viddie, congrats to your daughter.  I am sure she will do well.  My inlaws tried to make me promise to never have a Christmas tree.  Somehow that wasn't happening.  It is a pagan symbol anyway so I don't know what they were worrying about.

My SIL seems to be doing well from what I hear.  They have her heavily sedated.  Her son was suppose to come home yesterday.  He is going to his brother's house to recuperate so that when his mom comes home there are only one sick person to a household.  His sister is in her last year of nursing school so she should be of great help to her mom.  This is so far turning out to be a real Christmas miracle - the kidney transplant.  As it turns out my nephew (who is in the seminary) was going to give his kidney to another seminarian last year who needed one but that person found a better batch so of course when he found out about his mom and he appeared to be the best match there was no questioning.  It was really hard for my SIL to accept having her son give her a kidney but I guess they must have talked her into it.  It makes my problems seem small.

DS#2 made it home today.  He drove safe until he hit our subdivision and then spun out but didn't hit anything.  He was only going about 10 mph (so he says).  DS#1 is still in Texas.  His fiancee is suppose to drive home tomorrow but I hope she waits a day.  We are suppose to get 6 to 12 inches of snow. 

Keep warm!

Lynn12

Hi girls,

Well, I just spent quite a bit of time reading through the posts since last Sunday...so much to catch up on!

We're home from the hospital, got home yesterday about 3:30. The 2 hour drive was rough, but we're glad to be here.

Now that I'm caught up, I'll try to post my 'story' tomorrow, feeling a bit light headed at the moment.

Thanks again for all your wonderful thoughts, you all are truly special!

love and hugs,

Lynn

skyedivine

Hi Ladies,

Snowed in here...we were headed to a party near Milwaukee but didn't even make it to the Interstate. I am so over this winter. Like that is going to do me any good!



Melia, it's so great you are going au naturel to work! Once you start, there is no turning back.

Mel, have you tried a super strong gel to hold down that pencil roll? I use one labeled "crunchy curl" and it greatly improves the Roman emperor look. (LOL to all the Hail Caesar jokes) And I guess I'll be shopping online too.



Joni, so very very relieved that your scans look so good and hopeful. That is excellent news. Thanks for the report, I was waiting to hear.



Rebecca what color was that dress again?



Nancy, yes, keep babying that arm. You don't dare push it. And yes, we are so ready for Grendel pup. DH is just doing the floor trim then all that furniture and closet junk can go back in and I can actually resume getting the house ready for Christmas. I'm still laughing at seeing luxury strollers for dogs in the pet store.



Hope I'm the only one snowed in - Skye

meliaanne

Joni, we are all hoping for arthritis and are glad you seem to be in less pain. Poor Sweetie, I hate to think of you in pain. You are going to be ok. Are you still planning on the cruise in Feb?

Gosh, all of you with nasty weather make me feel a bit guilty. I know that the weather in San Diego is a blessing. I so enjoy it, feel very lucky to be here. We will move to Northern Cal when we retire to be closer to the kids, but the weather there is still better than most of the country.

Lynn, really glad you are home. Take good care, and post when you can.

Nancy, how is the arm?  I find I have so much less strength in my affected arm, and it tires very quickly. And I cannot sleep in that side without it going numb.

Tina, keep babying yourself; let your Mom help. After you see the doctors next time, will you know what the next steps are?  Re medications, etc?  How are the kids doing? And Paul?

It does feel great to be done with the wig. Mel, you will know when it's time. I went from wearing it daily to being done just like that. I came home Thursday thinking I couldn't stand another day, and that was it. Everyone at work was very sweet. The women gushed over how "cute" the short hair is, and the men ignored the entire issue.

Re our recoveries:  the emotional toll was and is huge. We didn't have time to deal with it while we were doing all the treatments. Now we are grappling with the reality of what happened to us. And for many of us, we are going thru the anniversaries of diagnosis, surgery, path reports, etc. So it's pretty raw. I know in my case, my family assumes I am over it, and the few outsiders who know think so too. So this is the place where I come for support. It was huge, really, when you think about it. Most of us had no idea we were facing fighting for our lives this past year. I certainly felt ambushed. I am grateful to be here, but I still feel very shaken by all that happened, and I have a very strong sense of my mortality now, much more so than I used to have. It was so traumatic, and I think it will take a long time for all of us to process it, understand it, and come to terms with our new bodies.  And some of us still face more surgeries, more treatments. Thank God we have each other.

Sweet Dreams, All.

Melia

mer1957

Oh Skye we are snowed in too and my DH's office party is tonight, luckily only a couple of miles away at a restaurant.  I am SO GLAD it is not at my house because who knows who will show.  This is the first day I haven't gone to the gym.  I am going to pamper myself today.  I would like to get to church but that is looking kind of iffy since DH can't get the snow blower to start.  Yes Melia, wish we had your weather today!  Rebecca, where are you?  Joni, praying for you.  Lynn, glad to hear you are home, just in time for another snow storm?  Mel, we might be coming to Houston in Feb - would be fun to meet.  Hugs and stay warm and dry.

Nancyab

Melia, Your words "hit the nail on the head". When I read the word raw, it was the word I was searching for. Everything was summed up with that one word! The wound is still very opened and fresh in our minds, I know people who have not been through it can't possibly relate, but it is oh so real!

I wake up every morning with numbness in my arm. I am so all over the bed at night with the covers on then off. It doesn't seem to matter how I lay my arm, over my head, straight across me, it goes numb. I've been good to it the last few days and it feels better.

Snowing here too, suppose to have mighty winds too. Jeff has got to take me Christmas shopping, I ordered on-line and my stupid order was cancelled due to "product availability"? So I have to start over.

I rarely have luck with shopping on-line. It hates me! My sister has no trouble at all. Go figure.

I ordered on-line for my daughter in Arizona so it could be shipped directly to her and I hope she and her DH get them, I'm worried. So far I haven't been notified on their order. Keep fingers crossed!

Mel, we are here for you through thick or thin. We all are so close and open with one another, you can vent, scream, throw things and we'll hug you through it all!

Love you Sis's

BTW- Ilovewolf who posted on here earlier coined SIS "sisters in survival" how appropriate.

TPPJ

Hey!  I made it to 42!  Hallelujah!    Next goal:  43.

Snowed in here too and I hate it.  It's not even that much snow but this city isn't equipped to deal w/it like they are in Boston.  Boston plows immediately...here they wait a few days until the "storm" stops.  By then it's all iced over, you can't drive.  I did get out to use a year old gift card yesterday for a high end salon and had my first pro color since BC.  (Did I write this yesterday?  I have major chemo brain...but it's from whatever other meds I'm on.)  The girl flatironed my hair, flipped up the back and it really looked kind of cool.  You really couldn't tell at all it was a chemo cut.  In fact, it was longer than a lot of women that I see.  This is encouraging.  I do need more on top because it's hard to reduce the poofy factor, but.  Melia, if I forgot to say it before, CONGRATS on going topless!  It IS great.  Helps so much in being able to forget about this stuff for longer stretches of time.

Miz, never heard of cardiac ablation.  Will have to google.  In fact, never knew much at all about heart disease before this experience.  Yes, it p's me off too that this is an s/e of my tx and a worse prognosis (I think) than BC.  Whatever.  Someone here once said "I'm 100% here today, I'll be 100% here tomorrow."  I'll take things in two day increments.

Cindy, glad your dr. isn't into endometrial biopsies.  Mine so wants me to have one but I am just not up for that pain.  I opted to have the hysterectomy under gen'l anesthesia vs. that.  Plus, even if they find something, at this point, what can be done?  I'm sure not having surgery.

Mel, I overheard this 30 minute infomercial last night on Effexor.  At the very end they said "may increase blood pressure".  Interesting.  I hadn't read/seen/heard that before.  I'll need to inquire about that.  I bet btw. the adriamycin, herceptin, effexor and anesthesia, it created the perfect storm.

Rebecca, where are you?  Jan?  Laying low this weekend?  Nancy, I loooooooove online shopping.  I start way early so I can make sure I can get my kids what they want.  I stress if I have to look all over.

Jaclyn is going to the girl scouts "Pop Princess" ball tonight if it isn't cancelled due to weather.  They go to the ball, do a scavenger hunt, dance, do crafts, the prince will be there.  Sounds adorable.  They have to go w/their troop and I'm a little paranoid about them all driving together in a van with all the ice.

One of my BF's from Boston e'd this am to say her mom had a massive stroke on Friday, is in a coma, on life support...not looking good.  Boy, it's just been bad news central lately.  I feel terrible for Kim as she and her mom are really tight.

I don't have any doubt that Joni will make her cruise in Feb.  She is the world traveler, after all!  Once she gets the pain under control, she'll be good to go.  I'm sure of it.

Caya

Count me in as one of the "snowed in."  It started around 3:00 yesterday afternoon, then stopped for a few hours, but it started again in the evening and it's really a blizzard as there are high winds blowing it all around. I went out grocery shopping yesterday morning to stock up in case we would be unable to get out for a couple of days...The food mart was packed as you can imagine. It's brutal out there today, hopefully it will clear up by tomorrow, that's what the forecasters are saying.  Luckily we had no plans this weekend.

Viddie - that's great news about your DD getting into the NP program.  I'm sure she will get acceptances at other colleges, but as you say, at least you know she's in somewhere.

Cindy - I hope you enjoyed your night out with the girls at the Omaha Symphony. 

Mary - I sure your DH's fiancee waits until tomorrow to attempt coming home. I also hope you can make it to the XMAS party tonight.

Lynn - so glad you are home, now rest up like a good girl and take it easy!!

Amera - I echo your sentiments on thinking I am the only one having certain thoughts/feelings, and then I read here that one of you other gals is thinking the same thing.  I feel exactly as you do re" the anti-depressant meds - I'm on Effexor ( the lowest dose) - I just feel much more in control, not as "edgy" and I also wished I had tried this earlier. 

Tina - you sound like you are doing amazingly well.  Is today your birthday, as you mention you made it to 42?  If so, Happy Birthday, wish many more happy healthy ones to come.  The "Pop Princess" ball sounds adorable, I hope the kids will make it if the storm eases up at all.  It's funny that you mention Effexor raising BP - mine was slightly elevated on Thursday and I asked my onc. if the Effexor could raise BP - he said "no", but then quickly said he's not a psychotherapist, (i.e. this is not my specialty - ask your GP/shrink). Also sorry about your friend's mother - we sure could use some good news here, that's for sure.

Mel, Melia, Nancy - I love reading your posts, we sure lean on each other here.  Even my BFF, Toby, who has been my rock since all this started - she phones me nearly every day, calls after each infusion, came down to the hospital with me in August when they were doing the breast ultrasound after my scary mammogram (DH was away) - as great as she is, there are things she could not understand... no one could, unless they are like us - Warriors from BC.

I'll be staying in today (for sure).  Have a good one.

Melia - sure wish I was in San Diego today.  La Jolla would be nice.

Anonymous

I know what you mean about those positive attitude people. Do they really believe that no one with a positive attitude ever died from cancer? Do they think that if those who have "lost" their "fight" with cancer did so because they didn't try hard enough or stay positive enough?

I'm sure a great attitude helps - and personally I think all of us DO have great attitudes - but let's get real, it's not a cure-all. If only it was that easy!

We dropped from 70's to the 40's this weekend. So we are staying inside and getting some Christmas presents wrapped today. Looks like we'll be back into warm weather again next week.

Anonymous

Lynn - so glad that you are home. Looking forward to hearing more about your experience. Hope you are getting lots and lots of rest.

Nancyab

Happy Birthday Tina!!! Many many more to come!

42 jeez, wish I could say that!

Have a wonderful day even if you are snowed in!

meliaanne

Jan, are you doing any rock climbing these days?

Rebecca, how are you?

Tina, Happy Birthday!  Just think, in 50 years, you will be 92. You have a long life ahead of you.

mer1957

Happy Birthday Tina!  Doing anything special? I know it's hard having a bday so close to the holidays.  Getting ready for the party.  We got about 6 inches but the roads are okay.  It is very windy though.  Somehow we will all get through this and be stronger for it.