chemo upcoming

cosmo

mum was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. luckily she found it early and it was only relatively small. the doctors were telling us that they'd remove the lump and she'd only need to have radiation so we were all looking fairly optimistic towards this.

unfortunately with the lump + extra tissue they removed they found more cancer cells in the extra tissue so they had to have a second operation to take out more tissue to see how extensive it was. luckily the result wasn't too bad this time- but my parents didn't want to run the risk of having more stray cancer cells growing into something worse- so they decided mum was going to have chemo.

at first i didn't really think much of it but mum's going to have her first chemo treatment in two days time and i don't know what to expect.
i'm pretty upset by everything, knowing how hard it's going to be, and my friends have no idea how to act around me or what to say- which is why i'm here, hopefully so someone can tell me what will happen and everything.

i'm only 14 and mum has always been like an idol to me. i mean, she was always the one to help me when i was sad or sick or angry and i've never had to care for her or anything like that, she was always the strong one... and i'm so worried what chemo is going to be like. i don't know what i'm going to be expecting or how to feel or anything.

thanks so much for reading this.

Ashley

LizM

Hi Ashley, your mum should be very proud of you as you are a very caring daughter. You should also be glad that your mum has decided to be aggressive with her treatment so that she will be around for a long time. I was going through chemo last year at this time. It was not easy but with the meds they prescribe now your mum should be OK and probably won't get sick but just be a little tired and stomach may be a little queasy. I was able to work and exercise throughout my chemo but I was still more tired than usual and needed to rest more. My husband and kids helped a lot with the housework and cooking and gave me the quiet time I needed. It is important to keep a positive attitude and make your mum laugh because laughter can be the best medicine. Hope you mum does well with her chemo and you take good care of her. Liz

sister47

Ashley, I am so sorry that your family is facing this issue. You mum is very lucky to have such a caring and concerned daughter. I can already tell that you will be a good support for her.

My mum also had chemo -- but it was several years ago. I remember her being tired and needing lots of rest. Some food didn't taste very good to her and some foods were pretty much "off limits". I think everyone reacts differently to the medicine but generally people are tired after their treatments and need to rest more than normal.

I am sure that any help you can give around the house with preparing meals, picking up, bringing her snacks or something to drink, etc. will be very much appreciated. I also suspect she will want you to focus on your school work and other activities that you participate in.

Something that you might look forward to -- as your mum gets close to the end of her treatments you might want to have a special "no more chemo" celebration with your family!! Nothing big or fancy -- maybe just a special card or a small cake!

Take good care of yourself and best wishes to your mum and the rest of your family. Check back in soon if you need ideas or suggestions -- there are many other people who have helped their family members get through chemo and they will be glad to help you get through it, too.

LuAnnH

Ashley,

I bet your mum is really proud of you. Chemo is a very scary thing from your standpoint. My daughter was 12 when I had my chemo in 1999. Your mum should do ok through out her chemo, like someone else said they have very good anti sickness medicines she can take, you might want to remind her to take them even if she doesn't feel sick. She will probably be very tired.

I don't know if you have any brothers or sisters, but if you do or don't, if you can help her out with little chores around the house it will make a huge difference to her and she will really appreciate it. I am sure she will want you to concentrate on school because that is very important also. Her chemo will be over before you know it and your family will get back to life before chemo!

I wish you and your mum the best! Please come back if you have any questions. If your mum hasn't visited this site, you might want to show it to her to kind of help her with a place to go and ask questions. I actually brought my daughter to this site and she has read on it and posted a few times when she can.

Take care and good luck!

LuAnn

Shemp

Chemotherapy is not easy, but I always stress the therapy part over the chemo part. The chemo does some rough things, which makes it easy to forget that it's a necessary evil for ensuring destroying any remaining cancer cells. To me, it helps to know how the chemo is working. When I understand how it either stops the cell multiplication or actually kills cells, it makes it easier to understand the side effects and to help prop up the patient with positive re-enforcement.

What should you do?
Well, first know that your Mum is still the same person you've known and loved for 14 years and she's not going to change, at least permanently! Chemo has so many side effects, but one of the biggies is it zaps your energy and each additional treatment compounds itself. Think of her energy as a bouncing ball, it bounces up and down with each treatment, but the upward bounces don't bounce as high with each treatment. Sooo... you, Dad and any other siblings get to step up and take on most of her chores/duties around the house. Second, don't change the way you treat your Mom or distance yourself out of irrational fear. At the same time, no need for over-dramatics. Stay close, have the same conversations you'd normally have, but maybe remind her more often that you love her and always will. Third, work with your Dad to coordinate acts of kindness with her friends. Encourage her friends to send cards or flowers or just stop by to chat on occasion. The extra support is great to have! And don't forget her immune system will be running pretty low, so make sure you keep up with simple things like hand-washing.

What to expect change with your mother?
First, everyone is slightly different, so know that the following can be more or less intense. As I noted earlier, her energy levels will be up and down, but trending down overall. Some days after a treatment, she may sleep most of the day. She may feel sick to her stomach for a couple days after a treatment too. They are constantly developing new drugs to counter this though, so this has been minimized in a lot of cases. And yes, there's a very good chance she'll lose her hair. As you can imagine, this is very hard to experience. It generally occurs 2-3 weeks after the first treatment. There's not a lot you can do but be supportive of her, but that's important. Her tastes may change. My wife couldn't stand chicken when on chemo, but really liked it before and now likes it again. On the other hand, she loved mashed potatos when on chemo. You never know, but there's a good chance her tastes will change temporarily. Also as mentioned, chemo will bring down her wite blood cells, so her immune system makes her more suscepible to getting sick, and harder to get well once sick, so make sure sick people keep their distance. Different drugs have slightly different effects, but your Mom will be able to overcome them with the support of her family.

Okay, I rambled a lot there, but the point is, just being supportive and remembering your Mom is the same person she has been is the key. I think it's great you're hear and talking about this. The other nice part is if you have any issues, feel free to share here. There's a lot of experience here that's willing to help. I learned a lot from this web site, and not just the forum section.

Best to you and your family!