How to deal with stress

spouse

My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2003. She had a mastectomy, chemo, radiation and has been on tamoxifen. She had no node involvement at the time of the mastectomy, although she had a large tumor. She just had a CAT scan which showed some spots on her lungs (which weren't there at the last CAT SCAN several months ago). The doctors say it could be a lot of things like scarring, an infection, etc., but that it could also be lung mets. My wife is not a huge worrier, but I am and I am seriously stressing out. We have to wait six more weeks to do another CAT scan to see how things look (just enough time to ruin our vacation and Thanksgiving - well, at least mine). I don't want to be stressed in front of my wife all of the time and get her stressed for no reason. How do you deal with the stress of waiting?

texayn2005

Pray
Stay busy

But be open to talking about the stress of waiting with her. It's not like she doesn't know you are doing it. This is one time in a good relationship that all doors should be open to exploration and vocalization. The waiting is so very tough. Seems like the old adage, "hurry up and wait" is ever so more prevalent in the areas of cancer dx and treatment.
Keep it light, start of good 6 week project - like cleaning out closets, taking a cooking class together. I will be thinking about you two and praying that the time will pass quickly.

spouse

Thank you. I really agree about staying busy. I feel a bit better today. I remember I was just as stressed several months ago when her thyroid got really enlarged and I thought it was a recurrence but it turned out not to be BC-related. Any our oncologist said that even if it does turn out to be mets, there are various treatments so that we can treat it like a chronic disease over many years. I would rather not talk about it too much with my wife since I think she has the right attitude and I would rather become more like her rather than her become more like me

texayn2005

My dx started out as Stage IV mets to the bone in 2/2005. This after years of mammograms and no family history of bc. All skeletal bones are involved, concentrated areas of lower back and left hip. Started on Zomeda monthly, Femara daily, morphine for the pain. Anxiety meds and sleeps meds as needed. Did 34 rads. I was 59 when dx was made. I am actually doing so very well, and my onc said the same thing that you mentioned, he would treat it as a chronic condition and adjust meds as my condition warranted. I did retire from my job as did my husband of 41 years and we are having the time of our lives...living and loving every moment of every day. We have 2 daughters and 4 grandkids and our retirement plan is to enjoy each moment that God gives us together.
I admire your wife's attitude and pray that it will continue for we all know that doubt, worry, and fear serve no purpose but to destroy our faith.
Keep us posted.