Doctor told me that my mom is going to die from

schenectady

her breast cancer. He gives her 6 months to a year. She lives in Upstate Ny and I live in Boston. Do you think she is better in Boston with better treatment or is every place the same? The doctor told me that my mom had advanced breast cancer and that she now has it in her brain she has lesions on her brain and that she is going to have 10 treatments for her brain cancer.

Should I ask her doctor for the records? Mainly to see if I can bring her to Boston to help? But I think that she would probably want to stay in NY near the family.

Mathew

Anonymous

Mathew

I have no great words of wisdom for you...just wanted to give you a huge supportive hug...this news just sucks.

Good luck with your decisions...I'm sure you'll find all the answers you need in time.

Peggy

jz20022001

I am sorry to hear that your mother is so ill, but doctors aren't always right. Both my grandmothers had breast cancer. One grandmother was told that she only had "weeks" to live. She lived 20 more YEARS and died at age 80. The other grandmother lived 35 more years and died at age 96.

It might be worth getting a second opinion.

Catherine

kaunderw

Wish I could offer you some suggestions. My mom just got diagnosed with brain mets as well. She's been battling IBC for about a year. Your Mom might want to consider getting a second opinion in Boston to see if her treatment plan sounds reasonable - but agree with you she'd probably rather stay in familiar surroundings.

My prayers are with you and your Mom. No one knows how much time we have left - make joyous memories and enjoy your time together.

Kathy

tflowers

Maybe you want to bring her for a 2nd opinion. At least you'll have your own special time with her. If she's ok to travel, you don't want to tire her. Good luck. xoxo

Anonymous

ps123

Changing title back

hmphillips

I don't know about the rest of you but I think that the advertisement in this thread is totally uncalled for. This is a place for people in emotional pain to look for relief and help. That is not where people should be posting such advertisements.

For you Mathew, I think you should talk to your mom and if she is intersted in your help. Then make your proposal to her first and see how she feels about it and then go from there. Big hugs to you and I pray for the best for both of you.

Helen

roseg

I think what your Mom wants is most important. There might be a miracle that her health team hasn't tried, but if there was they'd most likely be trying it. If you are REALLY set on it then getting her records and sending them off would be an option. I have no idea how that would work, but at least your Mom wouldn't have to go there. She's probably spent more time than she'd like with Drs. and in hospitals.

It's her life, at this point it should be her choice how to enjoy it. Your job is to help her live her life the way she wants to.

Bimmer

My wife had her first bout with BC nine years ago. Her second bout this year. She is triple negative, has had 15 weekly doses of epirubicin, 12 weely doses of abraxane, 35 doses of radiation and is now taking avastin and Xeloda, all this year. She is 49 years old.
Petscan showed mets in her right femur, pelvic bones, lypmph node chain in chest, and five spots on her liver. Her prognosis is not good at all, 12 months..
As soon as we got this news we immdiately started planing a trip to Boston from rural Washington State.
We saw Dr Isakoff at the Gillete Center in MGH (Mankinds Greatest Hospital). He absolutely confirmed her diagnosis.
Although she has no apparent symptoms, she sleeps alot. But they tell me that she is stage IV and needs to "put her affairs in order" and live her life.
I know how tough it is to deal with this, but you may well have to accept that she will perish due to this cancer. I am reading alot about cancer, and death, and dying from cancer. We are looking for a cure, or something to slow down the reaper. She is trying everything she can, taking Coral Calcium Supreme, Viactiv chews, Zometa, etc.. We look for clinical trials and search for new drugs or vaccines or anything that might help her to last a little while longer.
But, I and she are learning to accept that she is going to die from this. We will just love each other, support each other, live together and cry together. When it comes time for that final moment, we will both step to the edge of the abyss. She will step into it, I will step back.
Learn what is going to happen. Embrace it. Help yourself an your Mom to understand it, accept it, and to realize when it is ok to die. You can't change what is going to happen. But maybe you can try to make it a less fearful and perhaps a beautiful final moment.
I am sorry.. But I know where you are coming from...

Tawyna-2005Mar17

hi,
i just wanted to say i am sorry your mom has this. god bless your mom through this.

schenectady

Thanks for the kind words. My mom is currently in good spirts and she is eating well. The only problem is that the Chemo/radiation has screwed her up; she needs a walker. But I am just happy that she isn't sad; Mom's are wonderful people and we owe them the world.
Mat