Mom has Stage IV...

KatieH

Hello everyone, I am fairly new and, to be blunt, rather oblivious to many things about breast cancer, even though it has played a very critical part in my life.

When I was twelve, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, and had a masectemy. It went into remission two years ago. This past summer, however, it came back, as Stage IV (I wish I knew more than this, but I do know that's bad). We found out by her intuition in all reality. She had been having chest pains, and when we went, we found out that her cancer might be back, but the ER doctor nearly gave me a heart attack... they were fairly unprofessional in their delivery of this news, and didn't even request for me to leave the room. For about a day or so, I felt like Mom's life had a number attached.

Then came the mixed blessing. Even though her cancer is back, it is very curable. As of this moment, she is taking a lot of medications (including rhumidex(sp?)), and is somewhat lethargic. I found that over the summer I ran a lot of her errands, and a part of me worries that she'll be able to handle things. However, I am very much reminded that my mom has suffered a lot of things since she was first diagnosed, and is too stubborn to let this sort of thing stop her. In ways, I respect her deeply for this, and do my best to follow up her determination with my own will.

I'd be lying if I didn't say I was worried. I'd be lying if I didn't think about how she was from time to time, regardless of whatever reassurance I'm given. I know I'm lucky, that my mom will be around for a long time, but I can't help but worry. My mom is all I have. My father passed away the same year she was diagnosed. I'm afraid to lose her, for she is my role model and friend. Although I can't help it. She means so much to me.

I guess on a lighter side, she's going to be doing some genetic testing for HER-1 and HER-2... I can't wait to see the results, and if they're HER-1 positive, I want to get tested myself. If it means finding out more about breast cancer, and contributing to its research, then I am behind it all the way.

Okay, I'm sure that's long enough... if I kept going there'd be a novel here. This is the first part of my story. If I feel like I can, I may share the rest of it. The second part is far more difficult to discuss, in spoken or written form. Later y'all.

~Katie~

jgrjunque

Katie, all any of us can offer right now is a (((((hug))))). You're doing as well as anyone could under these circumstances, but we're here to hold your hand whenever you need it.

texayn2005

As a mom with Stage IV bc mets to bone dx 2/2005, all I can say is keep the mother/daughter bond going just as before only stronger. Both of you will go to great lengths to strengthen and enhance the relationship you had before the news as each of you is more aware of time passing away. There is no magic trick to know how to handle what is happening to both of you. Encourage her to be honest with you about pain or other emotions and allow her to be herself without any kind of judgement. Most of all we (moms) just want the closeness to continue as before. Enjoy the heck out of the really good days and follow her lead on the bad days. Pray for her~for healing and contentment. My girls have been given a chance to prove to themselves what I have known about them all along....they are strong women, with all the finesse and intuition they need to help me and to challenge themselves to look at life in a different way and prioritize things differently..to learn that the real meaning to life has nothing to do with a diagnosis made in a doctor's office, but with the way we all approach and handle what we are given as our lot. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

Patrish

Hi Katie, your Mom is blessed to have such a strong and supportive daughter. getting thru the everyday stuff is hard. dealing with the emotions that this brings out is harder. please write more when you feel like it, there are alot of people here who can help. best, P.

Khart

Hi Katie,
My mom was diagnosed with cancer when I was 17. to put it bluntly, it changed my life forever. I am 23 now, but I remember how alone I felt. Like it was me against the world. I wish I would of known there were places like this to get support.
There will be times when you feel more like a cartaker and "parent" to your mom then you would like. I remember doing the laundry, fixing meals, all that day to day stuff that my mom used to take care of. That's a hard thing to feel.
Be strong.

LuAnnH

Katie, you are truly a remarkable daughter and I know this because I am your mother (maybe we should go on Maury and reveal our secret!) You always can make me smile and I am extremely proud of you! You have overcome so many obstacles that have come across your path in life and continue to thrive and succeed. We had this disscussion before and I will continue to tell you, don't worry about me, put your efforts on that schoolwork of yours! I can honestly say I am very thrilled to be your mother, and if you don't mind......I plan on sticking around to do that job for a long time!

Love You!

Mom

PJB

This post is about the most remarkable I've ever read. Katie, Luanne, you're both wonderful. May you be together, laughing and loving, for decades to come.

Paula

KatieH

Paula, everyone, mom,

I thank all of you for your wonderful words. To be honest it's moved me to tears. I'm glad to have signed on and spoken with y'all. Oh, I have some things I have learned since my last post. It seems that the cancer is indeed shrinking, and the rhumidex is working. Also, Mom, in my last post, was taking oxycotton for pain, but recently got herself off of it, which makes me happy because it leaves her the option of driving if need be. Also, I have to correct myself, in that she's getting checked for the BRC gene (correct me if I've mistaken this, again), and that's the deal.

This evening is much better for me, which means I'm going to put every effort into the auditions we're having for the school musical. And to Paula, I'm also thankful that our story is remarkable. I want to give others hope, to believe that there is some, even when things look grim.

I hope everyone has a nice evening, in the midst of all our troubles. Later y'all.

~Katie~