senior humor

Helen1

R
> A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
> "Is it true," she wanted to know,
> "that the medication you prescribed has
> to be taken for the rest of my life?"
> "Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
> There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
> "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition
> because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
> -----------------------------------------
> An older gentleman was on the operating table
> awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,
> a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
> As he was about to get the anesthesia
> he asked to speak to his son.
> "Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son;
> do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well,
> if something happens to me ..
> your mother is going to come
> and live with you and your wife...."
> ----------------------
> -------------------
> Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you
> stop lying about your age and start bragging about it
> ------------------------------------------
> The older we get, the fewer things seem
> worth waiting in line for
> ---------------------
> ---------------------
> Some people try to turn back their odometers.
> Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.
> I've traveled a long way and some of the
> roads weren't paved.
> ----------------------
> When you are dissatisfied and would
> like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
> -----------------------
> ----------------------
> You know you are getting old when everything
> either dries up or leaks.
> ----------------------------------------------
> I don't know how I got over the hill
> without getting to the top.
> ------------------------
> ----------------------
> One of the many things no one tells you about aging
> is that it is such a nice change from being young.
> -----------------------
> -----------------------
> Ah, being young is beautiful,
> but being old is comfortable.
> --------------------------
> ---------------------
> Old age is when former classmates are so gray
> and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.
> --------------------------
> ------------------ --
> If you don't learn to laugh at trouble,
> you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
> ----------------------------------------
> Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground
> with sticks, it was called witchcraft..
> Today, it's called golf
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> A WELL PLANNED LIFE????
> Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school.
> One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school,
> Did you manage to live a well planned life? "
> " Yes," said her friend.
> "My first ! marriage was to a millionaire;
> my second marriage was to an actor;
> my third marriage was to a preacher;
> and now I'm married to an undertaker."
> Her friend asked,
> "What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?"
> "One for the money,
> two for the show,
> three to get ready,
> and four to go.