cop humor

manos

Comments were taken off of actual Dallas Police car videos.
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> #15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
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> out after you wear them awhile."
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> #14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a
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> worthless document."
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> #13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
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> #12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know,
> that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."
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> #11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
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> write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
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> #10. "Yes, sir, by all means you can talk to the shift supervisor if you
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> think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
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> #9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you that when you run that
> stop sign again, I'll give you another ticket."
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> #8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
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> or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
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> #7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen Pal, fair is a place where you go
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> to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in horsey doo!"
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> #6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
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> oven."
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> #5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now
> we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
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> #4. "Just how big were those two beers?"
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> #3. "In God we trust, all others we run through CPI C/NCIC.."
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> #2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
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> yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
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> And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!
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> #1 "Excuse me ma'am? You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? Well,
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> you are right, we don't. Now, sign here."

jz20022001

Good ones!

Catherine