Update...

pumpkin05

Hi all!

I haven't been around in a while, but just wanted to poke my head in for a bit (I'm at work) and say hi, and give ya'll an update on my mom.

I've been staying with her for the past week, she had a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy on Wednesday. I've been staying at her house, helping to take care of her and taking my little sis to her rheumatologist's appointments.

Just wanted to update those of you who have been so supportive and thoughtful...please continue to send up prayers/positive thoughts. She was doing okay until yesterday, when her pain meds caused her severe constipation, and she ended up hurting herself by bearing down so hard...she was in the bathroom for six hours, crying and moaning. I ended up having to put my clinical skills to work and had to go buy a Fleets enema. It was so painful to her...it was awful and traumatic and a huge reality check. I'm just not used to my mom being so weak and pitiful and in so much pain. She's always been strong as an ox, and now...it's horrible. And this is only just the beginning!

The dam finally burst last night, and all the tears I've been holding in came out. I thought I was strong enough to handle her needs, and I want to be there for her more than anything in the world. But when she saw me break down like that, it made her feel guilty! I've been trying so hard to be strong for her, so I felt horrible when I broke down on her. Now I'm afraid she won't lean on me when she needs help. Blagh. And being there for her, caring for her is something I NEED to do. I can't explain it, but it's just my way of coping. It makes me feel like I'm at least doing something.

Sorry...I'm rambling again, and I'm so exhausted that I'm probably not even making much sense! Just please keep her in your prayers. For speedy healing from her surgery, so we can start chemo soon and get this all over with. I will continue to pray for all of you and your loved ones who are sick and hurting right now. This week I got a huge dose of what life is like for a cancer patient, and my heart goes out to you all who are on the same road as me and my mom.

Anonymous

Jen! Its pretty hard to go through this journey without some tears. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job taking care of your mom. And nothing wrong with both of you crying together once in a while. As a daughter, you are a big part of this battle.

I do believe sometimes it is harder on our family members than ourselves. My husband was my main caregiver and still is. It was very hard on him. But we did learn, its ok to cry. I think sometimes the feeling of helplessness becomes overwhelming.

Ok so back to the constipation: Make sure your mom is drinking lots of water. Really important. Also needs to eat fiber, fruits and vegetables are great. Raisons, dried apricots, dried prunes. Find out what sounds good to your mom. I would also talk to the doctor. It sounds like she might need a stool softener.

Anyways, good luck and keep coming back. We are here to help each other.

Nicki

pumpkin05

Thanks Nicki.

I started her on Colace two nights ago, she's been taking two before bedtime each night. Hopefully it will work its magic and keep her regular. I've tried to encourage her to eat raisins, drink prune juice, etc. Now she's so paranoid about ending up like that again, she won't take any of her pain meds! So she's just taking Advil, which takes the edge off but she's still hurting. Her breast is very sore from all the straining she did yesterday, not to mention her bottom half is hurting her too.

Hopefully today will be a better day for her, and me too. My younger sis is watching over mom and baby sis today. So I'm getting something of a break, but it's only to come to work and take care of different sick people, LOL!

susanmcm

I just wanted to send you hugs pumpkin. and prayers for your mom.

(((((pumpkin05)))))

csp

For you and Mom Jen keeping you both in my prayers ~

DebraLynn

Jen, for you and your family.

csp

Thinking about you and mom Jen keeping
you in my prayers ~

csp

TheShopMama

Jen,
What a good daughter you are. I know that years from now you will look back and realize these times are precious with your mom. My own mom wept at the thought of us "having to take care of her" and I reminded her that none of us "had" to do it... we chose to do it because she was such a wonderful mom and took such good care of us. I will be praying for your mom and for you, and hoping that you are getting some rest. God bless you... Pam

csp

Praying for rest for you Jen and sending up prayers
for Mom ~