TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS

snowmen_n_thongs

hi mena i missed you! i seen those pic of you for the little get together and you look amazing!!
guess what i have!!
yay i am off work... going to get hubby from work now and hit the liqour store.... thinking some rum might be real good!!!
by 10 oclock tonight my hubby will look like one of those pool men!! hahahaha
xxxxx
tracey

Anonymous

Oh Vickie: Im wiping a tear from my eye. You are just beautiful.

Jasmine: How about looking 9 months pregnant at 56? Thats me. Split a pair of pants, broke a zipper on a skirt and my favorite blouse wouldnt button up right. Gotta start exercising. Im a big fat jelly belly.

Tracey: Ahahahaha you so funny. Make sure to get Captain Morgans rum - its the choice for the night.

Mena: Im looking for that picture of you dressed in that bathing suit. The one peggy did. It would be perfect for our vacation - pool party.

To everyone! Cheers!

BBL

Nicki

CherylG

Hi girls
I swore I would keep out of this one ... but I had time today to read back on all the posts concerning this "issue" and I just have to put my 2 cents in ....

BETH... I read your posts, and in the beginning I assumed that you had BC from the way you spoke. Granted you never said you had it ... but it was left unclear. I think when you admitted that you had not had BC it surprised us all. BUT I think you are seriously misinterpreting what is being said to you.... none of the comments here should be making you cry, the girls are trying to help you understand something. You are wise to be pro-active... heck I probably wouldn't be in the boat I am today if I would have acted aggressively like you! BUT the Circle is a place for information and support in dealing with certain issues that are not of concern for you at the moment. I would think that it is not good for you to hear all this negative stuff about treatment and SE right now ... only serves to fuel your fears. I think you would get much more comfort from someone in the same situation as you. Noone told you not to post here... we all enjoy your posts about friendships, crafts, recipes, family and pictures and I am sure anyone here would also reach out to help you in any way they can if you need it. This mess has become a catfight fuelled by misunderstanding. Please...please...please use PM to deal with these issues so that the circle remains a comforting place for those who need it.... that is what we are saying. If you have issues with any of us and we cannot clear it up by PM then just use your ignore button to avoid the person. We did not say there was no room for you here... we meant to talk about negative issues by PM and leave the circle open for support and comfort both for yourself and others.

NICKI.... I love Deadwood too, just takes a while to get used to the language like you said. Fat free raspberry syrup????? That sounds devine!! Prayers for your tumour markers.

DEBC.... how is Connie? She's in my prayers. You should add her to the map so you wouldn't be so alone up there

Speaking of the map ..... 239 posts .... wow!!!

SUSANMCM & CHERI.... hope you girls are OK

VICKIE... beautiful pics. I love the one of you and Nat and furbaby. Sorry to hear about your poor daughter. Get all the sleep you need, your body is just repairing everything from the past year. And when you do venture out .... kick some Suburban A$$ !!!!

TRACEY ... I don't know where on earth you come up with those pics ... they are great! Sorry to hear the Rocktober girls didn't welcome you but I think they were dealing with some pretty scary issues in their group at the time and may have just overlooked you.

I am busy making squares for our afghan ... I posted a flyer where I work and one in a local craft store. A lot of people have contacted me and will be making squares for me. I will add my own and send them on to to you. I think I will get a lot of participants... I'm pretty slow due to joint pain but I'm getting there.

And now... lets make peace here and draw our dear NS into the inner circle. She has always been there for all of of us and really needs us now. Furballs it is for you dear NS. In my heart I know you will be fine. Let the strength of this Circle that you created lift you up and bring you strength and comfort. We love you and are here for you as you are always there for us.

Hugs
CherylG

Anonymous

Quote:

---

Morning everyone,

This is quick. Thanks for the laughs with the pictures. I've got one of my own to add. Thought we needed a drinking bar. Stay warm, stay safe. Lots of our sisters in our thoughts and prayers today.

Bar is open: (hope this works haven't done in long time and chemo brain kicked in)



Hugs, Brenda

---

Oh my goodness. I do believe a bar stool just bit my arse and this is why.

CherylG: You were posting while I was posting. I checked out the map today. Its amazing to look at all of us spread out all over this world.

Nicki

Nicki

AlaskaDeb

Am I the only one that thinks the “barstools” look like VERY weird urinals??? What is with the drains?? Or it could bring new meaning to “Kiss my A$$”

LOL
Deb C

silvergirl9114

Yup, they're urinals alright. I took them to be a very---ummm---salacious decorative accent. I know---wash my brain out with soap!

Jeannie

AlaskaDeb

The booze in the bathroom has me a bit freaked out though....or is that a seethrough wall INTO the bar?? I always guessed that the little boy's room would have things that we don't in the ladies room, but DAMN sam...this cracks me up!

Deb C

susanmcm

Hi, I have electricity and heat and water. You should see me, I can't keep the grin off my face!!!!!! I felt all the warm wishes. that's what kept me warm at night.

I had a nice long talk with Cheri. She will not be getting her power fixed for probably another week. I will be calling her and offering to take her someplace where she has internet access. She's having withdrawal symptoms!!!!

I was getting some weird vibes from the circle even before I lost the power. Now that a few people have spoken their piece, I realize what it was. We were getting away from our expressed desire. To help those struggling with cancer either their initial treatment, recurrence, mets or complications caused by the cancer. Being told I had cancer was the scariest thing that ever happened to me. Being told it's back has to be 100 times worse. I want the circle to be about the love and support that is necessary to help us and our sisters deal with that. Unfaithful husbands and decisions about prophylactic bilateral mastectomies and the weather report from SW Missouri are not the same things. I'm NOT saying those things are not important and worthy of discussion here. I am saying they are NOT the most important part of the thread. They shouldn't be the focus.

And above all we will stay positive here. We care about each other because we are all in the same fight. We have our moments of envy and our moments of frustration and gosh darn we just don't see things exactly the same way. So be it. We all love each other anyway.

At least I love all of you!!!

susan

AlaskaDeb

Here is a song for our party...


~This ones for the girls-Martina Mcbride

This is for all you girls, about thirteen.
High School can be so rough; can be so mean.
Hold onto, onto your innocence.
Stand your ground, when everybody's givin' in.

This one's for the girls.

This is for all you girls, about twenty-five.
In little apartments just tryin' to get by.
Livin' on, on dreams and Spaghettios.
Wonderin' where your life is gonna go.

This one's for the girls,
Who've ever had a broken heart;
Who've wished upon a shootin' star:
You're beautiful the way you are.
This one's for the girls,
Who love without holdin' back;
Who dream with everything they have.
All around the world,
This one's for the girls.
(This one's for all the girls.)

This is for all you girls, about forty-two.
Tossin' pennies into the fountain of youth.
Every laugh, laugh line on your face,
Made you who you are today.

This one's for the girls,
Who've ever had a broken heart;
Who've wished upon a shootin' star:
You're beautiful the way you are.
This one's for the girls,
Who love without holdin' back;
Who dream with everything they have.
All around the world:
This one's for the girls.

Yeah, we're all the same inside (Same inside.)
From one to ninety-nine:

This one's for the girls,
Who've ever had a broken heart;
Who've wished upon a shootin' star:
You're beautiful the way you are.
This one's for the girls,
Who love without holdin' back;
Who dream with everything they have.
All around the world, yeah,
This one's for the girls.
(This one's for all the girls.)

Yeah, this one's for the girls.
(This one's for all the girls.)

AlaskaDeb

SUSAN!!!! Hugs girlfriend! So glad you are warm and bright again. We missed you

Deb C.

SoCalLisa

I finally found someone to keep guard while we are gathered at the campfire...

Anonymous

Yes! Yes! Weird looking urinals. Its cracking me up too Deb.

Susan: Yippee! I was getting worried for a while. So glad your back. I feel the sunshine and its warming my heart.

Please tell our poor Cheri we miss her and I bet shes having big time withdrawal.

Whooopppeeeee! The Captain Morgans is getting to my brain. I need to go lay down for a bit. Smiling as I leave the room.

Lisa: Ahahahahahaha. Just spit my rum at the computer screen Im laughing so hard.

Nicki

RoundTwoinCA

Hello CG's,

I've been pretty quiet through this storm as well. I don't give a crap what's transpired or who said what or who belongs or who doesn't or why anyone is here. I am here because it was a "warm hug" any time I needed one. I am certain it will get back to that in time.

I decided to quote the very first post instead - since it is the reason this circle is here:

nourrender:

Quote:

---

This has been a rough few days...
It is time for us to hook up our horses and circle our wagons around some of our dear sisters who need us the most right now.

Robin, Rhymee, Mena, Denise, Cheri, Marsha, Katz & Sarah, Gwenn, Pennylane, Dianne, Shelliks and all who need some love and care from the sisterhood.

I will take the first watch.

---

I recognize some of the names in that quote but not others. I pray it's because they have recovered and are too busy to post. This is what the circle is to me.

I'm going to my tent - the spa tent - where I've been through most of this.

Let me know when the warm hug is back.

Hugs,

Ginney

AlaskaDeb

Ginney-

I got a hug for you right here!

Thanks for the reminder....
Prayers going out daily
Deb C

newvickie

ahhh...what a wonderful sigh of relief. Our circle girls are back on track once again and there is a happy smiling Vickie here in freezing cold NY.
I can't believe you guys are saying those pics are beautiful...the last three scare the bejeezus out of me...its not ME. But thanks...I love you all.
Susan...oh my goodness have we missed you!!! I am so happy you are safe and warm. Tell Cheri she is missed...is her phone working as I could call her.
Lisa...love our guard...gotta keep those scary looking guys away that I shooed out earlier LOL!
Ok...saddling up to the bar takes on a whole new meaning with those urinals...that's just beyond description!
Allwayshope...we don't care at all about your santa belly...we all have our faults...I HAVE NO BOOBS and still to stinking skinny...I look like a boy! We love you for you and that's that.
Deb...what a perfect song
Who've wished upon a shootin' star:
You're beautiful the way you are.
Cheryl...hi and hugs coming your way and I am soooo angry with my daughters heartbreak that I fully intend to take it out on Suburban...gotta get rid of the anger somewhere and they soooo deserve it.
Ginney...the warm hugs are always here...one for you ((()))
Sending a warm hug to dear sweet NS...hope you are ok...miss you girl...and love you. Furballs it is.
Ok...missing a bunch...need another drink.
Love ya
Vickie

Anonymous

Quote:

---

Let the party begin
We could all use a drink
Deb C
Furballs, furballs .....

---

Vickie: This is what is beautiful. It says what the circle is all about.

Ginny: Great quote. It does really say why the circle was started.

OK! Its my bedtime. So I'll see ya all in the morning.

Nicki - hicup and burp! Its the rum

susanmcm

Ginny here's a hug for you!!!!

Madison and Newvickie, while I was sitting here with nothing to do I taught myself to crochet!!!!! I have a 7x9 rectangle all ready to go and I bought some more yarn!!!
vickie you don't look like a boy, you are beautiful.
Alwayshope, I'm sure you are beautiful too.

Cheryl, Tracey, Liz, MB, Brenda, Lisa, DebC, Beth, LauraB, Jasmine, Chemosabi, NS, Mena, Roxwood, Betty, Shel, Jan, Amy, Puppy, and everybody else have a great evening.

oh boy, I can see. the lights are on!!!woopie. I'm so happy.

I'm wishing you all furballs. especially you Sparky!

2up

omg you guys........."heaven" (without the hot guy that can spoon lol).............mackenzie is gone for the night for a change, as i am usually the weekend entertainment household for the kids.

a great friend of mine just drove all the way to my house with a lamb shwarma and tabouli (some of my favourite foods), a bag of "chick flicks" and a big hug!

just when you think nobody cares about you, somebody goes completely out of their way to do something special for you!

man am i going to enjoy the "silence" tonight (even though i hate being by myself most of the time lol)!

i'm going to have some pretty wicked heartburn tomorrow, but i'll just suffer...........i haven't had a shwarma since i went off work in october 2005............i forgot how much i loved the damn things!

off to "tear jerker land" for now, i think i'll only watch one tonight, as i watched "sweet november" last weekend and was in a funk for days!

NS........wherever you are..........i'm coming to new york soon to write the universal nursing boards, i hope we'll get to meet up, and know that i'm thinking about you every minute..........almost as much as i think about my ex lol!

CherylG

Here's a great big hug for each one of you ....



Lots of love
CherylG

newvickie

Oh Cheryl...I love the "out of hormone and have a gun...any questions? I should use that line on my daughters DH (and that's not dear husband) and Suburban Energy!!! LOL.

AlaskaDeb

CherylG I just read your tab line...

Out of hormones & have a gun... any questions??
LOL That is me girlfriend! I LOVE it.

Deb C

AlaskaDeb

Vicki...great minds think alike...we posted at teh same time

newvickie

That's funny Deb...we are truly connected!!!

Naniam

Checking in and calling it a night. Glad you guys like the bar stools that I found. Earlier today Vicki, Tracey and Jasmine were posting their funny ones so I decided to join the fun. They are OUT THERE!!

Susan, sooooo good to see you. I've been without power for 10 days before - not fun. Tell Cheri we have missed her too.

Ginny, big hugs anytime. Vicki, you have a beautiful daughter and you are a very lovely lady.

Lisa, loved the guard you found. Shel, enjoy the chick flicks and your friend - just when you most needed her too.

Mena, glad to see you pop in for a bit. I enjoyed the pictures of you guys in NJ. I think I would make two of you and Vicki!!!!!!!

Oh Cheryl, I just now saw what is at the bottom of your post - "out of hormones & have a gun.....any questions?" Sister, you aren't alone!!! I miss my hormones.

NS keeping you close and Ginny has first watch. All that are in the inner circle, draw close.

Hugs and warm wishes to all for a restful night,

Brenda

DragonladyTina

Beth,

This is not a negative post by any means, I can somewhat understand that you feel a sense of impending doom because of the genetic mutation you have, operative word here is impending. The women here in the circle are already feeling the doom. They have been diagnosed, many of them diagnosed a second time, a new primary or God forbid...Mets . Please forgive me if I say...You can't possibly get it. You just can't. You don't have breast cancer, may never have breast cancer but have chosen to post and live your life as if you do. I agree, you did not come right out and say you did have BC but it was a heck of a long time before you outright said you didn't. That, in my books is a form of deception, lying by omission.
I, for one, was very shocked to read that you really didn't have BC, I thought all along that you did.
I hope you never get BC, I speak for myself (and probably most of the women here) I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, this is too bad for even them.
I have faced death, leaving my children motherless and my husband a widower, the second wife to have breast cancer. I have faced financial super-hardships, surgeries galore, after affects from chemo, lymphedema and constant pain in my arm. WE HAVE ALL LOST OUR PEACE OF MIND, IT HAS BEEN SHATTERED BECAUSE OF BREAST CANCER!! Forgive me again when I say...YOU WILL NEVER GET IT. YOU DO NOT, NOT, NOT, HAVE BREAST CANCER.

Praise God, shout it from the rooftops and go and LIVE your life, your own life not live a life through a bunch of women who have BC.

NS I love you dearly....FURBALLS ONLY!!

Please call me soon,

I love you all

Peace in the circle.
love Tina

nosurrender

I have been thinking about this stinkin beast coming back. I have really taken a step back and tried to put the terror aside and look at IT and me.

Five years ago I was a different person. You could have called me "when can I surrender?"

I had just had a pretty tough time. I had a wonderful career going full steam ahead and then I had a back operation. The surgery was a disaster and I was left with only being able to walk with a walker. I had to sell my business. That was my baby, my life and that one was the hardest things. In order to cheer me up, people would say "It can't get any worse!"

wanna bet?

I graduated from the walker to a cane. And six months after the operation I had a mammogram. After several retakes, I am sitting in the waiting room in my little cape and they tell me I can get dressed. I am so happy to be able to go home. But then she said "but the doctor wants to talk to you"

oh

There was a lump that was not there 6 months earlier and it really needed to be checked... She said she would call my docs.

By the time I got home there were two messages on the tape. One from my gyn to call him ASAP to tell me that the breast surgeon was notified and wanted to set up an OR time.

I was so clueless. I knew it was bad but just how bad could it be???

Turns out it was pretty friggin bad. I had a very aggressive tumor- got the highest mark on all the charts and it was headed for the chest wall. I needed surgery and chemo and rads. I told my doctor that I had heard about chemo so "I think I will just go with the rads...." he looked at me and said "you think so, huh?"

And I boarded the bus. I had no map. No idea where I was going. No idea who was driving it... and NO DRAMAMENE!!!
I live alone so I did everything on my own... from measuring the drains to driving to chemo and all the other stuff that one must do. But I got through it. I learned about cancer through on-the-job training. It wasn't easy- but I beat the beast and met NED.

This time it is different. IF this isn't a furball or two... and it STILL COULD BE!... but I always take the newbies through "worst case scenario" so I might as well take a dose of my own medicine- if it is back? I am so armed and ready.

Why?

Because I have you.

I had no one then. But once I was in chemo I discovered the sisterhood. I decided that the only way I would get through this was to try to help someone who was newer than me. I could take them only as far as I was at that time. But then I met other women who were out of treatment and living their lives, some with mets and some just like me. It was a Godsend.

But I never knew the love and the true support and the genuine caring until I came here. And I have to say, that if I am going to do this again, I am so grateful I have an entire wagon train behind me. IT REALLY DOES HELP! I have been afraid of being able to take care of myself if I need the surgeries they are talking about, and a very dear sister has taken me through it and has put my mind completely at ease about that. And when I worry about the day to day stuff I stop, because I know I have all of you day to day.

You girls have changed me and made me strong and given me the ability to say to "Hey Beast! You wanna take me on again?? I got news for you- I have company! You don't stand a chance!"

So IF this isn't one of Mr. Fluffy's furballs, it will be ok. I have the circle. HOW LUCKY I AM THIS TIME!!!


When we all step back and think about those words... you have cancer... and all the feelings we experienced... and being touched by so many different hands who were trying to be gentle and were just doing their jobs - but still it was too many hands and too many procedures and indignities but we still did them all... when we think about how our families worried about us, or the heartbreak knowing that our families weren't worrying about us... and that ever present wonder "will I get through this???" ....
when we think back on all of that doesn't the pettiness that sometimes flutters around us seem so ridiculous? When someone is griping about nothing or carrying on about not getting enough attention- don't you just stare and wonder "what are you thinking???"

We have seen life from both sides. We have seen the world of living free before our cancer, and we live lives now of life after cancer. The sea change is so enormous that it is hard to comprehend the insignificant mini dramas that the world seems so hell bent on carrying out.

I don't really care how many pairs of underwear Brittney Spears wears, do you? So I accidentally put windshield wiper fluid in my coolant expansion tank- I got a turkey baster and it was ok! My neighbor refuses to rake her leaves so her leaves blow all over our nicely raked lawns every fall...does that effect my DNA?

What matters? The sound of children laughing. The relief in the eyes of a newly diagnosed woman when you tell her you have been through it all and she will be ok too- just like we are. The knowledge of knowing, no matter what, there is a sisterhood spanned across the world waiting with open arms and open hearts. The way the sky turns purple/orange/pink the moment before the sun sets.

This is what is important. But we see life through a different set of eyes now. Cancer is a terrible thing-but we have been given a few consolation prizes- each other, wisdom, real laughter, tears of joy, and we simply know the difference between what is real and important and what should never be given a second thought.

At the end of the play, "Our Town", Emily is dead but is allowed to visit one day on earth in her past life. She choses her birthday from when she was a child. She stands in her kitchen and her family can't see her. And she sees that they really don't see each other. They don't see how they take each other's presence for granted. It is too much for her and she asks the stage manager to take her back to the cemetery. She turns to him and says “I can’t go on. It goes so fast. We don’t have time to look at one another ” As she leaves, she says: “Oh, earth, you’re too wonderful for anybody to realize you ” Then she asks the Stage Manager: “Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?—every, every minute?”

The Stage Manager says,"No. Saints and poets maybe."

I think he should add us- the sisterhood. The women who have been through all we have been through. Because of cancer we see life better and clearer, every minute of it.

So don't let things get you down when things get a little weird around here... we are bigger than the Beast- and we are above any little insignificant pettiness that swirls around our ankles. Just step over it.

This is the Wagon Circle. The phenomenal wagon circle that grew and grew and grew because women wanted a place to call home, a place for warm hug Ginney mentioned. A place that is always warm and someone always understands.

Nothing can affect the love we have and love we give.

Thank you for making this place what it is.

I treasure each and every one of you.

Love,
g

nosurrender

I think we need to get away!
Would you care to go on a Safari???
http://s127.photobucket.com/albums/p129/5076906/?action=view&current=5c2be328.flv

CherylG

THIS my dear ladies is what the circle is all about
Hugs
CherylG
We posted at the same time LOL... thanks for taking us on Safari... that was incredible!

AlaskaDeb

Dear G-

I played Emily in "our Town" a million years ago in high school. The hair on the back of my neck stood up reading you wonderful words and remembering that scene. I am working on slowing down and seeing the beauty.

Love Ya Girl
Deb C
Hairballs.....

SoCalLisa

That safari looks like fun...but think I will do the one at the San Diego Zoo's Wild Animal Park...don't need to get immunizations for that!!!