Kotex Tips for Life

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Helen1
Helen1 Member Posts: 209
edited June 2014 in Humor and Games
I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner
> had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it.
>
> Annoying advice such as:
> Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
> Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
> Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.
> Try Kotex blah blah blah other products...
>
> Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has
> never possessed a functioning set of ovaries.
>
> Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water
> will help keep her feeling fresh.
> Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...
> but go ahead...I triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya...
> See what happens and report back.
> I'll wait.
>
> While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work
> and remove the chocolate from the vending machine.
> I garan-damn-tee you that the first responders will be females who just
> ovulated.
> Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess what,
> the only activities that interest me is eating...sleeping...
> bitching or crying for no apparent reason...
> and oh...
> does ripping someone's head off count as a friggen' activity?????
>
> Look, females don't need or want tips for living on their feminine hygiene
> products.
> Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from elderly
> relatives.
> Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes for survival,
> many containing alcohol & barbituates.
>
> Printing out crap advice while sneaking in ads
> for the brand that was already purchased is just plain annoying,
> not to mention rude, and is enough to send a girl running to the Always
> brand.
>
> It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up
> by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap
> to your products or the packaging.
> Put the crap in a plain brown wrapper
> so we can throw it in our carts discreetly
> and have it blend in among the wine and beer.
>
> There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package
> announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store.
>
> Why don't ya just add an in-store microphone to the damn package & announce
> that...
> helloooo, another female in the store is on the rag!!!!!
>
> So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies & the smiley faces
> and shove them right up your ass!
>
> P.S.
> How about adding a free sample of Pamprin
> and maybe a shot of Bourbon to your packages instead?
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