RAISING BOYS

newvickie

For those who have grown children - this is totally hysterical! For those with children past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have children this age, this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control. The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas.


THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY BOYS (HONEST AND NOT KIDDING):


1. A King size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old boys voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20X20 foot room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in movies.

10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11. Play-dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject Peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw-up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Anonymous

Amen for being a mother of boys!
And having survived it!!
.... so far .... !!!
Gotta love them.

evilelf

I'll have to ask my daughter how many of these my grandson has already done he's only 6 hummmmmmmmmmmmm

Chattypatti

Thanks for the laugh of the day!

Patti

jz20022001

Too funny! I had four brothers so I can relate to these.

Catherine

katz03

I have 3 sons past these ages now and can relate to a lot of these and probably could add more but a bit too tired tonight. Maybe just one or two.

Dustbins are not to be put in the middle of the road to be jumped over on skates.

Cars are not to be jumped over on skates either.

What are dust bunnies by the way?

Katz

Biker54

As the mom of 2 grown sons, I can SO relate! We gave our boys their own cameras, one X-mas, years ago. They proceeded to take pictures of eachother in their underwear, jumping all over the furniture. They were so excited to show us their photos until they realized that they showed them doing a complete NO-NO! If you could have only seen their faces . They realized their mistake at the first pic, but it was too late.
I got a million of em.
Jan

Biker54

BTW Katz,
Dust bunnies are those annoying balls of dust and hair and whatever that are rolling around under your furniture. If you don't have them, you are a better house cleaner than me!

Jan

newvickie

I personally want to try mixing the clorox with the brake fluid!!!! Anyone else...It would be great fun to put in my ex's pickup...LOL. Opps...my evil side showing!