Mom recently diagnosed and severely depressed

lostkittycat

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in December at the age of 59. I don't know all of the details, though it was the kind that doesn't show up on mammograms and all test results have been good so far, including the partial duct removal. She's on chemotherapy now and has been since mid-March.

All I know (sorry) is that she's on a treatment that's every 3 weeks now for 4 sessions, then she'll be on something weekly after that. The problem is that she is now SEVERELY depressed. She's had no history of depression in the past, and I'm sure it didn't help that the week she was due to start chemo originally, her father (my grandfather) died suddenly of heart failure.

Needless to say, we thought she'd get beyond the depression, but it continues to get worse. She was put on Paxil about a week ago but she's seen no results. She followed up with her doctor this week who increased the dosage. However, she continues to show no signs of improvement.

I've read all about how common depression is for breast cancer patients, and how great Paxil can work if given time. I think mom is just frustrated right now that she's not feeling any better and I know my dad is the same way.

I am looking for anyone who's gone through something similar, or knows somebody who has, and can give me some idea of just how long to wait to see any signs of improvement. The last doctor she saw this morning wanted to admit her for inpatient therapy, but my because of the circumstances surrounded that, my dad decided to take her home and is hoping to find anybody else to help her.

I'm just as frustrated, wondering what I can do.

Hattie

Glad you are looking out for her. Depression is a really hard place to be and it takes help to get out of that place. (it also takes time). Maybe the inpatient therapy would be helpful. The hospital social worker should have other resources. A breast cancer support group can be really helpful--it helps to see and talk with other women who feel the same or have got beyond the depression and back into life.

When I got my diagnosis, I was told that if it took one year for treatment, it would take another additional year to feel "normal". Altho the length of time wasn't super comforting, knowing what to expect and giving myself plenty of time was. I didn't have to feel worse for not bouncing back.

Counseling is a really great idea. it is hard to burden those we love with our fears, but they have to come out in some safe way and be dealt with.

take care,
--Hattie

Anonymous

Hi Lost,

Sorry to hear your mom is having problems.

First it is not unusual at all for some to react to a BC DX with depression.

The diagnosis itself is depressing, the surgery is again depressung and the chemotherapy with all the accompanying side effects are dipressing and the thought of weekly infusions is also depressing.

One huge trigger of depression is the loss of a close relative and certainly the loss of a parent at any age is difficult. Unfortunately, all these things are additive.

Whille there are many good medications available to help with depression at all levels, some require varying lengths of time to become visible in their results. It is also unfortunate but these medications are often a " trial and error " thing. Some will help one person but not necessarily another, given that it may take some time to find just the right med to help her.

I think when a Doc wants to admit someone for depression it is because they want to closely moniter their eating,sleeping,interaction and mood. It provides them with a quite accurate assessment and also concentrated interaction and therefore more time for therapy support.

Your mom has just undergone several major life issues and has a real plate full right now.

Wishing the best for you and your family.

Gentle hugssssssssssss

Terese

Hi Lost,

So sorry your mom must go through all this at once. She has a lot to deal with. The Paxil may take a while to take effect, so perhaps you will see some improvement in a couple of weeks.

I agree that counseling and/or a support group would be a good for her. It sounds as though her doctor is closely monitoring her. Dealing with the death of a parent (at any age) is difficult - my dad died 2 years ago and I still have bad days sometimes. Dealing with a cancer diagnosis on top your grandfather's death is double hard - she is still grieving.

I hope your mom's spirit improves soon - give her lots of hugs - my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please let us know how she is doing from time to tome.

Terese

cowgirl

I worked for psychs in the past, rarely do doctors promote an inpatient therapy that a patient does not need it. My best advise is to get her there ASAP. Depression can be very dark, and you want her to see the light.

lostkittycat

Thank you everyone for your replies. I support my dad's decision to have my mom released into his care for many reasons. He has since found another psych doctor in the area who they will see next week and hopefully this will be one to keep. Based on what I've been told, the psych doc that evaluated my mom in the hospital did so for the first time a morning after she'd had NO sleep in the hospital and based on her inability to answer such questions as "when was your surgery?" etc. and her not answering as clearly as he thought she should.

I guess I'm also just as desperate as she is in some ways to at least see some results from the Paxil, but we continue to tell her to be patient and that it will take time. My brother saw her yesterday once she was home and she spoke to him and was responsive, so I don't think she's getting WORSE on the Paxil that she's only been taking for just over a week now.

She has her 3rd of 4 rounds of the 3-week chemo session today, so I'm hoping to talk to her this evening just to see how she is doing, though so far she's tolerated chemo quite well other than losing her hair. I'm hoping the next drug regimen (a weekly one from what I understand) will also be okay for her and by that time maybe she'll also be doing well mentally too.

It's just so tough to see her so down and feeling helpless to do anything to cheer her up. Her 3 grandchildren miss her terribly (my kids) but are too young to understand what's going on with grandma right now, and because her immune system is weakend, I try my best not to expose them to her too often, which is difficult.

Again, thanks for the responses.

csp

Some anti depressants can take up to 6 weeks to get the right level in the body to help.
While my sister was going through Chemo she hit the wall.
all the poking, prodding, sickness, surgery, fear took a huge toll. Normally she is pretty easy going.
She started on the anti-depressant and is still on it and she said she feels much better, Not that she still does'nt
get down , it is just easier now to lift back out of it.
I am praying for your Mom and hope she get relief soon.

Hugs,
Carrie

jz20022001

She might want to switch medications. My husband was allergic to Paxil, so that might be a possibility. There are all kinds of medications available, so there's no need to suffer if one does not work. My brother suffers from bi-polar, so I am all too familiar with depression. It's terrible to watch a family member suffering.

Catherine