best friend just diagnosed

Alfreda

I'm a young lady from the Bahamas. My friend has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, she is not even 32 years old. I have been online searching for some information and came up with this site. can anyone help me? I don't even know what to do? I've been told that I should let her set the pace but how do I deal? what do I say? I've never had anyone who I knew personally diagnosed with cancer.We are both pharmacists so I know she understands the disease but looking at this from a personal perspective it all feels inadequate.Please help me to help her

ravdeb

Alfreda...
First of all, you arrived at a really great site. This discussion board is amazing and you will get support and help here.

There is a thread here for young women and this may be helpful to you as the women there may have more information for you.

The most important thing is to be there for her. Listen to her, help her get all the information she needs, maybe even go to the appointments with her or make sure she has someone to go with as half the time she won't hear a thing. Even though the drugs are familiar to her, it's a whole different ballgame when you are the one who has to take the drugs and go through the disease.

So, take notes as to what the doctors are telling you, get second opinions, keep a notebook of tests, and everything you (she) collect concerning her bc. When there are more questions, ask the doctors, come to the boards here to ask, etc...

It's very tough at the beginning but you are a very good friend for coming here and searching for information for her.

Good luck.
ravdeb

csp

Alfreda,
It is so scary when someone we love gets a dx of cancer

what can you say simply I love you and I am here for you
what you can do is be there for her just like you are doing

Go to treatments with her, offer to do errands, hold her hand, listen and be there for the long haul

You are a good friend, hugs to you and your friend

Carrie

Shemp

I think the caregiver is always left feeling inadequate. There's not a lot we can do to directly help those with bc. All you can do is be supportive and help out when you can. It shows a lot that you sought out this place and asked.

Alfreda

TNX very much for the advice, I will be sure to follow thru on it. I have been navigating through the site and has found it to be an excellent source of information.

ladydi

I am 35 years old and diagnosed with BC in November of last year. The best thing you can do is keep offering your help and try to do things that'll make her laugh or cheer her up a bit...Silly gifts, cards etc all helped me. Stay in close contact with her and don't be afraid to ask her how she is doing. You've found this site which is already a step in the right direction in learning...Guide your friend here as well. It has helped me a great deal.