A Bit of Info on me
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Anonymous
Member Posts: 1,376
Hi,
I've been here at BCorg for I think over a month or so. I have gone into chat room a few times, you all go so fast! But go over these boards a lot.
I know many have a lot of ? about my breast cancer, and yes I do have it, as of the XYandZ's , well I know a bit, as I had been blindfolded along my journey with cancer. I am much wiser now, than I was 5 years ago, and I think I may have an MD at the end of my name, or at least I should. Sometimes I don't have answers to some of your questions, but that's okay.
Back in 2000 I had my regular mammo, as I had felt a lump the size of a marble, yes I told the doctors, tech's etc about it each and everytime. And when I was through I would call or get their letter stating I was fine!
Well in 2001 another mammo, this one was sent to a surgeon, who abruptly did a "tissue" biopsy on me, and by now 2 marble size lumps. No "again" when I called to confirm with this surgeon, he said again that "it" was a "fatty tumor"... Ok I thought.
Each year this "fatty tumor" grew and each time the answers from many doctors were "its a fatty tumor". OK OK enough of this crap!
Again every year I went thru this same routine. And during these 5 years I underwent many surgeries, other than my breast or anything that had to do w/cancer. I never got to recoop from any of my surgeries, when poof, another one was needed.
So lets get this straight for the past 15-20 years I have had low back surgery, a hysterectomy, yes I was on hormone shots (depo estridial) for 22 years, then underwent kidney surgery...just these 3 surgeries were in 1984....one of them I was hospitalized for one month solid.
I also have had MORE surgeries after 84, like 13 more! I have had 2 different neck surgeries due to herniated disc's both at different times, the first was when they cut my pelvic open and took out a chunk of bone to make a disc out of it for my neck...the other one about 4 years later they used a cadavera's bone...much easier on the body...and yes the hip has never healed, it was worse than the neck surgery!
So to make a very long story shorter, last year in 2004, as I had been on pain meds for a long time, ended up with me over the summer having all my upper teeth which use to be beautiful, ruined by the meds..so I underwent dental surgery for "new teeth"... oh what fun...Nov 16th of 2004 I had my last surgery on my teeth, and was knocked out and was home by noon with an icepack on my cheek, only to lay down for one hour, as I had an appt with this surgeon for a biopsy on my R breast....SH!!! I walked in w/my husband and my icepack, waited forever, then went back and this surgeon, did an FNA on my R breast...OK, fine, I left, we went home, oh I did not mention we were living with my mom of 79 years old as I had been on disability for fibromyalgia, RSD and many other auto immune diseases, and my husband is 100% disabled...finances were "kind" of bad, and things I believe happen for a reason...well anyway, back to this biopsy on Tuesday Nov 16th 2004, then on Thursday the 18th, I was getting ready to go to the airport w/my dear mom to pick up my sister, and the phone rang...Hello, Yes, yes, yes, yes, tears were rolling, this F'n doctor had the nerve to call me on the phone with those 3 words "you have cancer"! I knew it all along there wasn't something right! Plus he told me that Thursday he wanted to see me and my husband the next day (Friday)! Of course we went, only to find out I had cancer and needed a masectomy, which he scheduled right then, and then we went to hospital for my pre-op, I had Sat and Sun which I was not doing too good emotionally, then Monday I was on the chopping block...They removed my entire breast, as the cancer had been sitting there for all these years, spread to my nodes, and he had to use the potato peeler to scrape every inch of each of my ribs.
About 3-4 weeks later in Dec 04, I had an other surgery to insert a portacath as I have no veins left, after so many surgeries. Then on the 5th week I started Chemo in Dec of 2005.
Please don't ask me what meds they put me on, all I know I was so sick for 6 months, as one of the drugs were called big red, and I hated it...and I am no sissy, but as of now I hate needles doctors etc.
During this time from Dec 04, then Feb 2005 hit and my dear ole mom decided to have a severe stroke...now she is no sissy either, even when my sweetie heard the thunk of something falling, (it was mom) and we went "runnin" to check....now if you can imagine us during this time, me with this new masectomy on the R side, my port on the left and my husband 100% disabled..trying to lift my mom with my Right side, as she had fallen in awkward way...the hell with us, its mom! And when I mentnioned calling 911 she said NO.. oh lovely, I did anyway, thank God, as we caught this stroke before any brain damage happened... Yes she has been in rehab, we had her home as I was going to try to take care of her...very hard...she had several TIA's mini strokes during the time home of 2 weeks...so back to the hospital, and back to the home...she has easy access down there and gets around in her chair, plus great care. Thank God and its only like 1 1/2 miles from us at home. This episode has not stopped, as the day before her stroke I had 5-6 hrs chemo, and was puking my guts up all day...it was an 18hr day at the ER.
We got thru this, and still trying....I did alot of research during my 6 months of chemo, and I knew what was right for me...No Taxol and no radiation. I have tons of other health issues that would intensify my quality of life not only for a few weeks, but possibly life...and those were good choices for me, and I am thankful I knew what I was doing was good for me.
Just last month I found out due to the mammo on my left breast and 2 biopsy, nothing looked good, but it didn't look too bad, but I was willing, dont know why, but to have the whole breast removed and send it to boob heaven after the pathology. No cancer was there. Plus I had this large mass in my left orbital area in my head, which they did at the same time. I told the surgeon (yes a different one) whom I found and interviewed him, he has one chance, and that was it, as I have been on Palliative Care since June 05. When I mention "Palliative" no one knows what that is, well it's the step before hospice. I have chosen quality over quanity, and that works for me. My body can no longer do what it use to do, and no I am no quitter as some have called me, just very realistic. Some say "what are you going to do", well I'm going to try to live each day as it comes, try not to worry, enjoy what I have, and try hard to do my good deeds which I was put here on this earth for.
I try hard to keep the humor, YES I do have my pity parties, and no one is invited.
The part of cancer I did like was when I went bald, as I have learned it said no where upon my little bald head "stupid, ignorant, or kick me" anywhere on it!
I had been a thrill seeker my whole life, so I dont need to go hand gliding, or ride a bull named foo man choo, or climb to the rocky mountains...as I already have done so much in my life of 52 years old.
I don't like to winebag, but Ive been told I look great, have no idea how, as I wear no makeup, yes I have perfect skin, always took care of it, so no wrinkles what so ever..nah nah nah....Remember you cannot judge a book by its cover.
I can go on and on and on about what the cancer center here has sent me thru, put me thru, and watched me slip thru their cracks etc.
ITs been a real thrill of a ride. But right now I love reading and seeing my mom and all her cronies down at the center, think that may be my destiny, they all love my hugs, and now adays I should have a sign that sez "no hugs", as I hurt like hell on both sides, front back, in and out, up and down, but what the heck!
Ok you guys, that have wondered who this person named Ter is, you guys got most of my cards laid on the table here, so you might understand me a bit when I get on the chat room or post a note on the boards.
Yes I do try hard to keep the humor, as the one who laughs, lasts!
So far so good here.
Thanks
Shalom
Ter
I've been here at BCorg for I think over a month or so. I have gone into chat room a few times, you all go so fast! But go over these boards a lot.
I know many have a lot of ? about my breast cancer, and yes I do have it, as of the XYandZ's , well I know a bit, as I had been blindfolded along my journey with cancer. I am much wiser now, than I was 5 years ago, and I think I may have an MD at the end of my name, or at least I should. Sometimes I don't have answers to some of your questions, but that's okay.
Back in 2000 I had my regular mammo, as I had felt a lump the size of a marble, yes I told the doctors, tech's etc about it each and everytime. And when I was through I would call or get their letter stating I was fine!
Well in 2001 another mammo, this one was sent to a surgeon, who abruptly did a "tissue" biopsy on me, and by now 2 marble size lumps. No "again" when I called to confirm with this surgeon, he said again that "it" was a "fatty tumor"... Ok I thought.
Each year this "fatty tumor" grew and each time the answers from many doctors were "its a fatty tumor". OK OK enough of this crap!
Again every year I went thru this same routine. And during these 5 years I underwent many surgeries, other than my breast or anything that had to do w/cancer. I never got to recoop from any of my surgeries, when poof, another one was needed.
So lets get this straight for the past 15-20 years I have had low back surgery, a hysterectomy, yes I was on hormone shots (depo estridial) for 22 years, then underwent kidney surgery...just these 3 surgeries were in 1984....one of them I was hospitalized for one month solid.
I also have had MORE surgeries after 84, like 13 more! I have had 2 different neck surgeries due to herniated disc's both at different times, the first was when they cut my pelvic open and took out a chunk of bone to make a disc out of it for my neck...the other one about 4 years later they used a cadavera's bone...much easier on the body...and yes the hip has never healed, it was worse than the neck surgery!
So to make a very long story shorter, last year in 2004, as I had been on pain meds for a long time, ended up with me over the summer having all my upper teeth which use to be beautiful, ruined by the meds..so I underwent dental surgery for "new teeth"... oh what fun...Nov 16th of 2004 I had my last surgery on my teeth, and was knocked out and was home by noon with an icepack on my cheek, only to lay down for one hour, as I had an appt with this surgeon for a biopsy on my R breast....SH!!! I walked in w/my husband and my icepack, waited forever, then went back and this surgeon, did an FNA on my R breast...OK, fine, I left, we went home, oh I did not mention we were living with my mom of 79 years old as I had been on disability for fibromyalgia, RSD and many other auto immune diseases, and my husband is 100% disabled...finances were "kind" of bad, and things I believe happen for a reason...well anyway, back to this biopsy on Tuesday Nov 16th 2004, then on Thursday the 18th, I was getting ready to go to the airport w/my dear mom to pick up my sister, and the phone rang...Hello, Yes, yes, yes, yes, tears were rolling, this F'n doctor had the nerve to call me on the phone with those 3 words "you have cancer"! I knew it all along there wasn't something right! Plus he told me that Thursday he wanted to see me and my husband the next day (Friday)! Of course we went, only to find out I had cancer and needed a masectomy, which he scheduled right then, and then we went to hospital for my pre-op, I had Sat and Sun which I was not doing too good emotionally, then Monday I was on the chopping block...They removed my entire breast, as the cancer had been sitting there for all these years, spread to my nodes, and he had to use the potato peeler to scrape every inch of each of my ribs.
About 3-4 weeks later in Dec 04, I had an other surgery to insert a portacath as I have no veins left, after so many surgeries. Then on the 5th week I started Chemo in Dec of 2005.
Please don't ask me what meds they put me on, all I know I was so sick for 6 months, as one of the drugs were called big red, and I hated it...and I am no sissy, but as of now I hate needles doctors etc.
During this time from Dec 04, then Feb 2005 hit and my dear ole mom decided to have a severe stroke...now she is no sissy either, even when my sweetie heard the thunk of something falling, (it was mom) and we went "runnin" to check....now if you can imagine us during this time, me with this new masectomy on the R side, my port on the left and my husband 100% disabled..trying to lift my mom with my Right side, as she had fallen in awkward way...the hell with us, its mom! And when I mentnioned calling 911 she said NO.. oh lovely, I did anyway, thank God, as we caught this stroke before any brain damage happened... Yes she has been in rehab, we had her home as I was going to try to take care of her...very hard...she had several TIA's mini strokes during the time home of 2 weeks...so back to the hospital, and back to the home...she has easy access down there and gets around in her chair, plus great care. Thank God and its only like 1 1/2 miles from us at home. This episode has not stopped, as the day before her stroke I had 5-6 hrs chemo, and was puking my guts up all day...it was an 18hr day at the ER.
We got thru this, and still trying....I did alot of research during my 6 months of chemo, and I knew what was right for me...No Taxol and no radiation. I have tons of other health issues that would intensify my quality of life not only for a few weeks, but possibly life...and those were good choices for me, and I am thankful I knew what I was doing was good for me.
Just last month I found out due to the mammo on my left breast and 2 biopsy, nothing looked good, but it didn't look too bad, but I was willing, dont know why, but to have the whole breast removed and send it to boob heaven after the pathology. No cancer was there. Plus I had this large mass in my left orbital area in my head, which they did at the same time. I told the surgeon (yes a different one) whom I found and interviewed him, he has one chance, and that was it, as I have been on Palliative Care since June 05. When I mention "Palliative" no one knows what that is, well it's the step before hospice. I have chosen quality over quanity, and that works for me. My body can no longer do what it use to do, and no I am no quitter as some have called me, just very realistic. Some say "what are you going to do", well I'm going to try to live each day as it comes, try not to worry, enjoy what I have, and try hard to do my good deeds which I was put here on this earth for.
I try hard to keep the humor, YES I do have my pity parties, and no one is invited.
The part of cancer I did like was when I went bald, as I have learned it said no where upon my little bald head "stupid, ignorant, or kick me" anywhere on it!
I had been a thrill seeker my whole life, so I dont need to go hand gliding, or ride a bull named foo man choo, or climb to the rocky mountains...as I already have done so much in my life of 52 years old.
I don't like to winebag, but Ive been told I look great, have no idea how, as I wear no makeup, yes I have perfect skin, always took care of it, so no wrinkles what so ever..nah nah nah....Remember you cannot judge a book by its cover.
I can go on and on and on about what the cancer center here has sent me thru, put me thru, and watched me slip thru their cracks etc.
ITs been a real thrill of a ride. But right now I love reading and seeing my mom and all her cronies down at the center, think that may be my destiny, they all love my hugs, and now adays I should have a sign that sez "no hugs", as I hurt like hell on both sides, front back, in and out, up and down, but what the heck!
Ok you guys, that have wondered who this person named Ter is, you guys got most of my cards laid on the table here, so you might understand me a bit when I get on the chat room or post a note on the boards.
Yes I do try hard to keep the humor, as the one who laughs, lasts!
So far so good here.
Thanks
Shalom
Ter
Comments
-
OH I forgot to mention, that "chemo" did not help me one bit, as that first surgeon who put the portacath in me, screwed up, and I did not know for months on end. Yes I told each nurse/doctor etc w/every blood draw which I had to get into positions not even a brilliant yoga person could not get into to do a flush or chemo or blood, I had to get into this exsorbident positions...Well in Aug 05 I saw my own internist, he did a CT and had found out that my port had been busted the whole time, and I had a 5 inch piece that had fallen into the top part of my artery of my heart, and was embedded there the whole time. A wonderful surgeon along this journey of mine, after being rushed to the hospital, got it out by fishing thru my groin area, then the next week he took out my port. He told me IF I would of sneezed, coughed, moved in any sort of way, I would of laid down due to tiredness, and would of bled to death.
Yes I had made my decison of no more anything way before that.
Plus with this "new" masectomy they could not remove any nodes due to the fact I have no veins what so ever, so please don't mention that they could of done my feet/legs, as with my RSD (reflex sympathatic dystrophy) no circulation what so ever in my feet etc, plus I blood clot easily, there was nothing more one could do.
I think I got it all written now.
Thanks for listening.
Ter -
Yes I forgot one thing, the C is now in my bones in my 10th rib. Oh lucky day!
-
Terrible story, so sad. Hope your palliative care team can do wonders with your symptoms. Good luck and take care.
Fists uo! -
Ter, I am saying prayers for you girl !
-
Ter.....I am wishing for the greatest quality of life for you, for the longest possible time. You are an inspiration.
I feel humbled by your story.
(((((gentle hugs))))
Sam -
Ter,
I am so sorry that you have had to deal with this. You really are an inspiration to us. May God give you strength to battle.
Peace and Blessings. -
Ter
You sound like someone we all would like to know. You will be in my prayers tonight for sure! I wish I could help you! Hope you continue to post! -
Wow, Terrie you've been through SO much! I understand completely about your decision. Your also quite the fighter! Keep writing and I'll try to help in anyway I can.
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