2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

Anonymous

Graycie, I take Vicadin during the day or in the evening when I get home from work. I don't take the sleeping pill til I am in bed ready to sleep, well about 20 minutes before I go to sleep.

I really need that pill. I sleep so good when I take my pill that I am scared what happens when I run out. Hopefully, I only need them because of all the stress in my head and the steroids they put us on for chemo.

Serendipity

Hi Ladies,
I've been MIA for a while. Chemo # 5 (Taxotere) was on January 6 (a week late due to low cell counts) and I had a Neulasta shot on January 7. My bone pain was really bad (I guess mostly from the Neulasta shot?). It was so bad that I couldn't sleep. Tylenol, Advil and Aleve didn't cut the pain at all. I finally remembered in the middle of the third night that I still had some Vicadin left from my surgery--so took a couple and finally got some sleep.

My husband had to go out of the country on business on the Wednesday following my treatment and I honestly didn't know if I was going to be able to care for my almost 8 year old because I was feeling so bad--both with pain and feeling dizzy and tired. I felt about 100 years old. I told my daughter that if she couldn't wake me up in the morning to call 911--that's how bad I felt. But, I did somehow make it thru each day and each day was a little better.

Got my blood test done last Friday, and my cell counts were actually too high.

I felt somewhat better this week--only a few mild aches and pains, but I've been very tired and crying at the drop of a hat. My husband is still out of the country, but at least the pain is better.

It's good to read all of your experiences and find out how everyone is doing. I am one of those who will be finishing Chemo sometime in March. I am not supposed to do rads because I had a mastectomy with no lymph node involvement. I did have some vascular invasion, but my onc says rads are not indicated because of the mastectomy.

Take care,
Jane

kimmie11

Graycie,
I found they were the perfect books to read during this time, no deep thinking, no message, just funny! Tell me what you think of them.
Stay healthy and your chin up girls.
Kimmie

ravdeb

Thanks Paula, for your kind words.

I used to walk and that helped me. Now I'm having trouble doing that with pains in my legs and so on, and the colder weather. I hope to get out on a sunnier day. We've been having such rainy days lately that it attacks my reactive arthritis I've got.

I guess a lot of us are teary eyed. Some days I just don't feel like I can get through them and I have trouble getting up in the mornings. I meet with a girlfriend every Tues for breakfast or some other outing. This will last until mid March when she moves overseas. I'll miss her! I also met up with people from my religious community tonight. It was good to see everybody (haven't been going there for a while) and they really welcomed me but for some reason it wasn't the same. I'm not the same. I got myself all dressed up, put my wig on and felt ugly. My son said I looked beautiful :-) EVerybody told me I looked good and I felt ugly.

I do things that have nothing to do with bc and yet cancer is written across my mind continuously.... can't get it out of my mind.

I'm making plans for a trip overseas once I'm done with all of my treatments and this should make me happy, but I plan to go with my family and my husband isn't sure he can join me, my youngest son can't decide, my daughter doesn't know if she can take off work and my other son is in the army, so now I'm getting stressed over this. The trip is to go to my niece's wedding...the first of the neices and nephews and I've been looking forward to this and want my family there with me...and now the plans are stressful...as though I don't have enough on my mind!!!!!
whatever...it's good to vent here on this board because you women are the only ones who get it.
ravdeb

Anonymous

Amy - Congrats! I am so happy for you. All of this will be behind you soon. I am doing the Avon Walk in Chicago the beginning of June. We can cheer each other on.
Graycie - How are you? You only have one left! Yippie.
Terynsmom - When is your bone scan scheduled for? I had the Sternum pains too. Nothing showed up on my bone scan - but I have a Hiatal Hernia. Could that be the cause of your pain too?
Ravdeb - Hang in there - I hope you feel better soon. Don't forget...all the meds we're getting can/have caused us all to be down in the dumps at times.

And hi to everyone else! I haven't checked in lately. The home stretch continues to kick my butt! The bone/joint pains are very severe. But, I must look beyond the present and toward the finish line! Thanks, girls for being here.
Laura

Paula15089

ravdeb,
i hear you. I too get dressed up to go out, put my wig on, everyone is saying how good it looks, but i hate it. I just feel like an outcast, like a leper nearly. I know its mainly in my mind, but i cant help it. The worst thing, i dont know if this will change once the treatment is done, hair is back etc. Its like this cancer has made me into someone else, like i am 'damaged goods' now...
and you are right, people on this forum are the only ones to understand this. Everyone else keep saying - yeah, your treatment nearly over, soon you will forget this like a bad dream. I am not so sure.
So, as you can see, we all can have bad days! But hopefully the good days will outnumber them soon.

take care,
Paula

ake

seriously....now that some of us are done with chemo, when is our hair supposed to grow back? i just want my hair to cover my head...it can just be a buzz, but i want hair! how long is it truly supposed to take?

ravdeb

thanks, Paula...
we seem to be having similar thoughts. I'm just going through some rough times over here, missing my family in the States, tired of all of this cancer...
I don't feel like a leper, but I do feel like I'm a changed person. Some people from the village I live in want to stop by. They never wanted to stop by before but now that I have cancer, they feel obligated, I guess. They are childhood friends of my husband's and stopped "stopping by" years ago. I really don't feel like having them over so that they can look at me, if you know what I mean. I just want to stay in my hole for a while... but if I say no, then my husband will be upset.
ugh.
feel good! I'll try to do the same!
ravdeb

ravdeb

Laura..yea..all the meds! My brother in law is e-mailing me all the time about meds. He's a pharmacist. I told him I'm not taking any more meds than what they give me. And, when this is all over, I plan to become a naturalist and never take a pill again!!!
So, what does he tell me??? Watch out for those natural remedies..they are filled with fertilizer. Lovely. He said that if I want to be such a naturlist, I should move to California. maybe I'll do that!
Feel good...
ravdeb

sherryhaire

Need help from all you wonderful ladies!!! My boyfriend has told me for part of my Christmas and my birthday present which is next week (I'll be 48) That when I finish Chemo 2 more cycles to go and before I start reconstruction I am to pick a 7 to 10 day vacation anywhere in the world I want to go actually he said I have about 8000.00 to spend start to finish. The problem is I have never really been anywhere but here in south Texas other than a one week trip to Cancun with my girlfriend. Where would each of you go?????

Paula15089

thats a fantastic dilemma to have, sherryhaire! and very nice of your bf, too!

if you want to go somewhere familiar, but different at the same time, may i suggest Hawaii? I personally love it! You can do everything - shopping, beach, sighseeing, without getting too far from your hotel if you want to go back for a nap.. (after that nasty chemo you might not be able to be on the go 24 hours a day unfortunately!)

or - Las Vegas? again, everything is nice and close.



different story if you want to travel outside US. Soooo many places to visit, but would you be able to appreciate them right now? I love Europe, you can get a train pass and go from country to country easily. In 10 days you can see as many countries if you wish! But this is not an easy vacation, you are on the go all the time.



And then of course there is a beautiful Australia to visit ... lovely and hot right now!



well i am sure other ladies will be along with their advice soon, so take care for now



Paula

Graycie

Wow! what a wonderful offer. And what a generous boyfriend. I haven't traveled much but I think I would pick Hawaii only because I have always wanted to go there. Just don't go on one of those tour trips, my friend did that and hated it. Graycie

TracySeattle

I had my last Chemo today--- WAHOOOOO!!!!! What a great feeling! The rest of you will be there soon!

Jane - glad to see you back, I have missed you and wondered about you!

Sherryhaire - what a wonderful offer from your boyfriend. I think I would be inclined to pick somewhere in the US - just in case something would happen you would need medical care. I love Hawaii, specifically the island of Kauai which is a bit quieter and very beautiful. Enough sight seeing to keep you busy if you want to be, but not overwhelming.

Hang in there sisters--we are doing this!!!!

debbie444

What a fantastic dilemma!
How about flying here to the Uk ( or europe ) and picking up a cruise ship around the med - seeing the best bits of lots of different countries but sleeping in comfort each night?
Its something i want to do next year - you could be my guinea pig!!!!!
Debbie

marymelodi

Sherryhaire:

I loved Hawaii in 1979 and I hear from my sister who goes every couple of years that it is still fantastic. She rents a condo on the beach and just lives there, going on day trips,between rounds of golf.



My post-cancer dream is to go to Italy. That's what I would do with an offer like yours.

ravdeb

I'd choose some nice relaxing place, where there are not a lot of kids, beaches galore, those pretty colored cocktail drinks with the little umbrellas to sip on while enjoying a nice warm breeze off of the sea. I'd also make sure there was a jacuzzi in my room!!!! And lots of wonderful fruits to eat and great service in some elegant hotel. That's what I could use right now! Doesn't really matter where it is...and a great massage!
We happen to have the most elegant spa here in Israel and this is where we went after my surgery and before chemo. It was heaven (though they refused to do massages on me because of the cancer, but the rest was perfect!).

ravdeb

Anonymous

Hi Graycie,
You finally got a picture up! You look great!
Laura

Graycie

Thanks Laura but for some reason the picture looks all distorted.....OH WELL.....Graycie

Anonymous

Taxol and Herceptin tomorrow........ ugh. At least it's not like A/C!!

Graycie, I love your new pic. Is that your hair or a wig one? Mine pic is me with my hair pre-chemo.

Sherry, I wouldn't waste my time on the travel part. Pick a vacation that is fairly close to home either drive-wise or plane-wise. I live in California, I would love to drive 2hours north, say Santa Barbara, or one hour south and stay in San Diego on the beach and go out for lunch and dinner, etc. I would just wanna get to the business of having fun!!!!!! Oh, another trip I would love is up to Tahoe and go skiing for a week: ski, hot chocolate, drinks after skiing, stay in the cabin at night by the fire......mmmmmm

Anonymous

TracySeattle -
Congrats to you! One by one, we're getting there. Ahhhh...the finish-line for some and the home-stretch for others. You did it! Best wishes to you.

Laura

ravdeb

that is so great to be done!
feel good!!!!
ravdeb

Anonymous

Ladies,
We have so much more going on than Cancer! And I want to hear about your families and what you do for fun. I want to hear about ravdeb and Israel (how fascinating to live there!!).

Do you think we should start making some posts and checking for them in the "Moving Beyond Cancer" or whatever section??

Anonymous

How about if we start a thread:
OCTOBER CHEMO GIRLS-BEYOND CHEMO
Or,
OCTOBER CHEMO GIRLS AND BEYOND.
Or something like that? Any thoughts/suggestions? This way we are still together as a unified group. After all, we are quite familiar with each other, and this didn't happen overnight. What do you think? Just a suggestion.
Laura (GTO)

Anonymous

Thats good as long as ravdeb tells us about Israel!

Graycie

Congratulations Tracy, we are all coming up to the home stretch....I can't believe we are almost done with chemo.....Good idea Laura with the new thread, either one is good. We also need a radiation thread for the ones that have to do that. Laura, I know you mentioned about all getting together sometime which is a good idea but it may be hard since we are all scattered all over the world but what about us talking in a chatroom? Is there a way we can get in one together just us girls? Not sure how that works. They have one on this board but not sure if you can do a private chat. Maybe we can all go in and kick everyone else out, just kidding.....
Terynsmom.....that is my hair pre-chemo
Graycie

ake

let's just keep this thread "anyone starting chemo in october 2005" and we'll just use it to keep in touch with each other....then we don't have to start another thread. i definitely want to hear about your lives without the cancer....i actually didn't think of cancer once today first time in a long time.

Paula15089

i had my rads planning appointment today... very fascinating. I am now a proud owner of two new tattoos!

still very fatigued after my last chemo. Going back to work will be tough! certainly not looking forward to it. And my rads nurse said they will make me tired. MORE tired? impossible!

hope everyone is as good as can be!

ravdeb

I would love to talk about my life in Israel...It's quite an adventure! But, let's stay on this thread. There are a few of us who are still on chemo. I, for one, finish mine, should all go well, mid-March.
You are all welcome to ask me questions about life in Israel. One thing I'll tell you... lots of young Israelis here, after the army, are traveling about Australia and since we have a few Australians, I find that interesting! Actually, if they can get visas to the States, they go there, but many of them are choosing Australia these days. It used to be India. Now Australia. I hear it's beautiful there and one day I'd like to go there to travel.
ravdeb

ravdeb

Hi Paula,
Congrats on those new tattoos! I was in touch with my friend who had bc 6 years ago. She told me that the beginning of the rads is really easy and it's only towards the end that you will feel fatigue or any other side effects, should you get them. My cousin told me the same thing. She breezed through the rads (didn't have chemo) and only felt tired, fatigued, at the very end.
You can do this!!! good luck.
When do you start?
I'm still in chemo..wish this would end!!!! 8 more treatments!
ravdeb

ravdeb

Amy,
I don't seem to have a life without cancer. Still on chemo, awaiting rads as well and cancer is plastered in my brain. I'm going out with a friend today...we go out every Tuesday... but I can't stop thinking about cancer. I'm reminded of it when I look in the mirror and put my scarf on...
Hey..last night, even though it's cold and I always wear a hat to bed, I went hatless hoping that my head would "breathe" and the hairs would start growing. It seems that my stubbles are stuck in good and tight. Now, if they would grow I'd look "past cancer" even though I have a lot more treatments.
Oh..and all those hair growing things...they do work..it's all in massaging them into your head. When you shampoo, you must massage that, too. Massaging helps get those hairs to grow in. I know this because my hair was thinning a bit (not a lot) before cancer and I was using a similar product to that Nioxin...my hairdresser gave it to me. costs a fortune but well worth it. My hair never looked better. It wasn't really thinning..just shedding a bit..I have been coloring my hair for years and I'm sure that's why. Anyway...my hair looked great and shiny and thick with this stuff. It's worth the money.
I'm into massaging in the shower at this point and wondering if Taxol is going to surprise me at the end and all my hair will fall out...or grow in. which will it be???
8 more treatments.
ravdeb