2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

ake

Paula,

Hang in there...I was terrified and jumpy as hell before my first chemo. Definitely take an Ativan the night before to get a good night sleep.

When you go to chemo...tell the nurse you're scared. They know what to do to make you feel better because they see a lot of scared people! What helped me is to know every step of what was happening...what's this? what's that? now what? i like to stay informed. remind yourself that it's okay to be scared and nervous...this is chemo...when have you done this before? it's scary. but you know what? it's doable and almost scarier in our minds than in reality. remind yourself of how many women are doing it right now. the 2 things that helped me get through that first one (and get through the next one on Thursday) is to think of one chemo being done, so I'm closer to finishing and to also see those chemo drugs as your biggest allies...they're doing their job. i was almost excited when she put them in because i hate thinking there is anything shady going on in my body. i want the bad stuff destroyed by the chemo! when my hair started to break off on day 7, i cried a lot. my brother reminded me that it meant i had a "good batch" of chemo and it was doing it's job. it's a weird love hate relationship with chemo

don't be scared about late side effects...mine were mainly from coming off the steroids. i was by myself for all of it because my husband was at work and my parents had left. if you feel crummy after the first chemo, just sleep a lot. recoginze your body telling you it needs to rest and give it what it wants. don't overdo anything and be patient with yourself if you feel tired or icky. for me, i felt like i was never going to feel better, but i do.

let us know how you do! you're going to be great and so proud of yourself for getting the first one done

-amy

Graycie

Good luck with your second treatment..........I haven't gotten to the hair loss yet which will probably be coming any day now......My head does feel a little tingly, not looking forward to it .....

Graycie

ake,
Very good advice....Fear of the unknown is the worse.....Atleast going into treatment #2 I will know what to expect so I can deal with it better.....

spirit

Good morning everyone!

Brenda... I honestly don't know if it's something I'm actually doing or not. I doubt that it's luck... *lol* The only thing I started before that is different is the Vitamin B-6. It makes me hyper!!! I'm moving like all the time...unsatisfied with being sedentary!!!

I'm happy to be part of this diverse and creative grou of women! We should should design and Oct.Chemo logo!!!!

love & hugs,
kate

ake

kate...i agree with a logo...we need t-shirts or something : )

TracySeattle

Paula - I am with ya, sister! I have felt that I have been very strong through the surgeries, etc and even waiting for chemo, but now it is just a few days away (Friday for me) and I am getting scared. I think it is just the "unknown". Once we get thru the 1st one and know what to expect it will be better. Please know that you are not alone. I found myself thinking about it and worrying quite a bit last night....

(((hugs))) WE CAN DO THIS!

daydream

October logo--good idea! I'm not really an artist, but I "dabble" sometimes. My first chemo is at 2:00 today, AC. I'm off to stock up on potato flakes and crackers. I'm nervous as hell, but managed to get some sleep last night. Maybe I'll come up with a logo in my chemo fog, or whatever happens to me.

I've been on steroids before, and hope I don't have that in my cocktail. It's very useful, but has some wicked side effects. If I have to have it, I'll deal with it.

More later.

TracySeattle

Good Luck, Daydream! We will be thinking of you today!

A logo is a great idea!

debbie444

Paula - its normal to be scared ! I was scared - more of the unknown than anything else. It was like waiting for my driving test all over again. I got through it and i am scared of going to the dentist! Dont get me wrong - i have spent better mornings but it could have been a lot worse.
I will hold your hand metaphorically if it will help! If your friends are like mine they are waiting to be able to help - if their time is all you need they will be greatful to be able to give it - believe me.
My best friend said she felt helpless until i asked to pick the kids up for me one day - then she felt better!
Dont feel you are whining - you are being human.
Take care
will be thinking of you
Debbie xx

debbie444

A logo is a great idea - only dont look at me - I have trouble with pen and paper never mind technology.
My hair may not be quite as well stuck to my scalp as i thought- think its deciding to start coming out . Find myself actually pulling it to see if it will come out - guess that isnt helping a great deal!
Debbie

TracySeattle

My fear is that my hair will start falling out at work....

I think I am going to carry a hat with me starting on about day 10....

Anonymous

Hi Ladies,
So what will our logo be? How about a hairy pumpkin?
I'm going out with my teacher friends tonight. They're taking me to a restaurant by the beach. I feel so unattractive though. My hair was a really nice asset. Now it's a short pixie cut. I look more like an urchin than a woman. Also, I don't know what to wear. I just realized I don't have any party clothes!! Whatever clothes I have don't match my short haircut.
Done venting for today. Bye.

debbie444

I was never a hat person but got quite addicted to buying them when found was going to have chemo. I started wearing them a couple of months ago so that people would get used to seeing me in them before I had to wear them - sidestepping the sympathy vote! Now quite a few of my friends have started wearing them too so i am not alone ( and they do stop rain running down my glasses so thats a bonus!)
Debbie

spirit

I have given my daughter an assignment to design a logo!! She is VERY artistic and actually worked on a logo for a major corp. once upon a time!

I thought it might bring her here so she might be able to understand what vibrant, intelligent and taleneted women there are here and that breast cancer does not play favorites!

She lives a good distance from me....and I thought this might be a move to make her feel a little closer.....

love & hugs,
kate

TracySeattle

Debbie, I have been buying hats wherever I go too and people have been giving me hats. I sure hope I will wear them!

kapensy

Paula, hang in there. Take the Ativan...it really helps. Anxiety can make the nausea much worse. You will get through this. I was very anxious and scared, but then followed all my docs instructions and listened to my nurse - drinking lots and lots of water; not hesitating to take meds when feeling sick and in general just listening to my body. If I crave something, I eat it, cause later I may not feel like eating; if I am tired, I rest. If I feel I can get out and about, I do.

I'm sorry your mom can only stay for a few days and glad you have some friends to help - don't turn down any help you can get!

good luck and god bless!

Lynn

marymelodi

Reading all your messages has been such a help to me. I am scheduled for the first AC treatment on Thursday, Oct 27. I do not know if it will take place because I have had a bad head cold for the last 10 days. Finally my family doctor put me on ampicillin last Sunday. I am feeling better and the nasal drip and cough has stopped. But, I have fluid in my right ear and all sounds are pretty muffled on that side. I am concerned that the doctor will tell me we have to postpone treatment until that is cleared up. I have also started taking trazodone for anxiety and sleeplessness. That is how I became vulnerable to the cold virus in the first place. Worrying too much and unable to sleep through the night. The meds are helping that problem greatly and I'm sleeping at least 5 hours ata stretch now. So, I may be joining you all on Thursday, or maybe I will not. Darn. I've grown to like you, even though I haven't had much to say. I'll be a little disappointed not to be in the October group if it comes to that. At any rate, because of you all sharing your experiences I have a much better idea of what to expect. Thanks for that.
marymelodi
dx 8/22/05
Right breast lumectomy & SNB 9/15/05
Invasive ductal carcinoma with lobular features

Anonymous

marymelodi,
You don't have to have chemo in October to be part of the October group! You don't have to be anything! I'm sure the other ladies will chime in and say it's okay to join even if your chemo gets postponed.

spirit

(((marymelodi)))

It's great with me!!! Stay...we will support you no matter what!!!!

hugs,
kate

TracySeattle

You are here and we won't let you leave! Stick with us, girl!!!

daydream

Thanks, Tracy. I got home from my first treatment about an hour ago. I have a slight headache and I am just a little queasy, but I managed to fix dinner! We'll see what happens later. They sent me home with lots of anti-nausea drugs, and I will definitely take the Ativan so I can sleep. The actual process of getting the chemo was not at all a problem. And, of course, the nurse was great.

Looks like your turn is coming up soon. Good luck!

ake

it's settled...you're staying with the october ladies

daydream

I cut off ten inches of hair! I've gotten lots of compliments on my short, curly hair. Makes me look younger, people say. I hope you get used to your new haircut.

AnnaM

I am going in for my first chemo on Monday, Oct 31. My doctor didn't tell me anything in terms of how to prepare, so I am really happy to see the pointers all of you posted here. I will start drinking more water tomorrow! I got my port last Friday and a MUGA yesterday. I am so scared; it will be better once I have the first chemo behind me, right? I'm in for 4 A/C treatments, at three-week intervals, followed by 4 Taxol treatments alternated with Herceptin, then 42 Herceptins alone, weekly. I feel like I am embarking on a new career! I'm getting my hair cut short tomorrow and will have my head shaved a week after the first chemo.

Anna

TracySeattle

You know, in a way, we are embarking on a new career! It seems that my life has become consumed with BC, what to take for what, how much to drink, what to drink, how to eat, what to do to make it easier!!! UGH!

It is a career of learning to care for ourselves and fight back!

I know people around me are tired of hearing about it, but really it is the most important thing going on with me right now--hard to think of much else but I am trying to not talk about it or think about it all of the time.

daydream

I'm new, just looking back over stuff, and saw your post. I just had my first chemo 2 hrs. ago. I feel O.K., but I know there will be something coming!

Anyway, I thought your encourgement post was very eloquent.

Susan

ake

Tracy...no one is tired of hearing you talk about everything...it's hard not to let this all take over. i'm constantly thinking about it when someone sneezes near me, what to eat, what to prepare for, my veins, my counts, etc. and this is only after 1 AC!

For me...I try to have "Non-cancer" days where I don't talk about it. Just for one day. I do something fun or go out to dinner or to a movie or something just to get away. It helps...especially when I get nervous!

spirit

Anna....

Your first is on Halloween? I am soooo bad, but I would wear a mask!!!!

lmao!!!!
hugs,
kate

RoseMarie

Wow Paula, you and I will be starting Chemo on the same day! I go in tomorrow to have a port placed. It's more surgery but I hope it'll be better in the long run! Well, I type and three children who should be asleep scream in the other room...just when I thought things would never get back to normal!!

sherryhaire

I think what keeps me going is knowing that I am not alone and others feel the same as I do I wouldn't wish this on anyone but knowing you guys are out there make all teh difference in the world chemo #2 on Thurs 27th