Starting Chemo in June 2005

Jenster

Have a fantastic time! I can't wait to hear all about it. I'll just live vicariously through you while I'm living the hermit life. lol.

Thanks for your thoughts, too. I'm leaning heavily toward walking for the immune boost that I'll probabl get from it.

Jen

LizFL

Watson...I think you deserve the "Towanda" award for getting through the traffic!

Have a wonderful time Brenda..we are looking forward to hearing about it.

Scout...praying that the spots are B9!

I do hope all you lovely ladies have a good weekend!

Hugs,
Liz

NancyM

Liz, I love the idea of Towanda awards! I also loved when you said "we are staying till the last of our troops cross the border." That was cool. BTW, I also have one eyebrow with about 1/3 more hair than the other...what's up with that?

Bev, I also liked how you asked for the ones who have finished to stay and hold the rest of our hands...that kind of made me choke up!

JoMac, I loved the James Brown lyrics, that was a hoot!

Scout, congratulations on your teeny little tumor!! Yay for the chemo working!! I also had some bad pains on Taxol. Did they give you anything for the pain? My onc gave me Lortab and that did wonders. I got depressed, too. I wonder if that is related to the Taxol or just because we're so tired at this point.

Rebecca, what kind of tests does your onc want to do before rads? We should try to get together one of these days since we are near each other, and Minerva can come down from Wyoming! We need to celebrate getting so close to the finish line!

Watson, I'm hoping you don't need to use your wig for a flotation device! But seriously, I pray you will be safe!

To everyone else, have a wonderful weekend and take care!

Anonymous

Hi Dana,
I just came across your post. I am awaiting the final path results of my SNB. I may also have to go through chemo. How did yours go? What in the world is a port and why can't it be done through an I.V.?
I did not see any more posts past June. Thanks.

Brenda S.

Anonymous

Sorry I got stuck on the first page.

bmck

Dana where in Minnesota do you live, if you don't mind me asking, I live in Sioux Falls, SD just wondering how close you were me?

Cathi

danahollis

Hi Junies!

Wow... there's a lot going on here! Lots of posts!

Watson... PLEASE BE SAFE!

Brenda F and Jenster... I say Exercise! As long as you feel like it... you should do it! It's so good for you on so many levels... I applaud you both for it! I have been "wanting" to exercise more... just can't seem to commit to it!

Welcome Brenda S! I was so thankful to have my port... now I'm thankful to be getting rid of it next Wednesday! It really made the infusions so much easier. No digging around for a vein... it was just so simple and only one little needle poke. Feel free to join in on our group. Tell us a little about yourself. I'm sure we're all happy to help you any way we can. This is a tough thing to deal with and our group has experienced so much. Just know we are here for you!!!

Cathi... I live in Farmington. Technically it's a suburb of St. Paul. I go to Regions Hospital in St. Paul and it takes me about 40 mins to get there. My husband works at the State Capital. Maybe sometime we can get together!

Hi Nancy, Liz, Scout and NoSurrender!

Ok, my brain is forgetting what else I wanted to say... darn it. Have I mentioned how sick I am of the HOT FLASHES???? Yes, I guess I have! LOL! Oh well, soon it will be winter here in Minnesota and maybe they will come in handy! A girl can hope, right???

Ok, I'm going to go snuggle in my bed now. I'll check back in on you all in the AM.

HUGS!!

Fi_in_oz

Hi ladies,

Well week 1 of my rads marathon is done, and so far so good, just a "sunburnt" feel to the breast and surrounding area and a little heartburn so far. The treatment staff are fantastic, which makes it heaps easier I'm sure.

Not sure I'll ever get used to the naked from the waist up in a room full of technicians part of it all though . The pillow slip that they lay over my good breast always seems to fall off, like at least 5 times a session, I should just give up on "needing" it. Weird isn't it, I can and do walk everywhere bald, but having my breasts on display even to medical professionals just sends me on a loopy loop .... anyways only 5 more weeks of that to go.

I have a gorgeous soft down growing on my scalp, rather thinly, am trying to decide whether to keep my head shaved whilst on radio so that when I go back onto chemo in November I don't have to "re loose" the head hair and have to explain to every "Tom, Dick and Harry" why ....


anyone got any thoughts on that they'd like to share with me?

Best wishes to you all, the majority of you are almost done with the harder stuff..ie chemo, fantastic !!!

Fi

LizFL

Welcome Brenda S..you came to the right place..if you read through our posts, I'm sure a lot of your questions will be answered. The idea of a port kind of depressed me at first, but it has worked well and I'm glad I have it (although I will be glad when it's out!)

Fi...I would base the hair decision on your feelings rather than what you think you would need to explain to others. If the fuzzy down feels good...enjoy it! Most people should be able to figure it out without asking! For a while I was wearing different styles and colors of wigs. Those who knew what was going on voted on which ones they liked best. Got some strange looks from others, but few asked any questions!

Nancy..I think the selective brow loss is just one of those chemo mysteries! I am surprised at how the pencil does the trick....I am not good at make up and thought it would be more trouble. As far as not leaving our troops behind...what kind of army would we be if we did that:)

Dana, I forget, do you find hot flashes to be annoying? Instead of wigs, maybe we should have little hats with windshield wipers.

Met with my rad/onc yesterday to work out treatment plan. I will have simulation done on 11/4. She is a very petite and pretty woman that doesn't look a day over 12. My first thought when she walked into the exam room was that it must be "Bring Your Daughter to Work Day". She assured me that she is old enough and has been through medical school. She is on the serious side, but a good communicator so I think it will work out well.

For those of you that have been working through all this...are you starting to feel more worn down? It took me pretty much the whole week to feel somewhat back to the new "normal" after Taxotere # 2. I will wait to see what happens after # 3, but I am considering modifying my work schedule. I guess what I am wondering is that if I have more time to rest would I feel less worn out. I sleep fairly decently with the help of Lunesta. I don't do much at home (husband helping...and some things will just have to wait). I would rather be at work than lying on the couch looking at the dust on the ceiling fan...but on tough days at work I feel kind of overwhelmed. Any thoughts or ideas?

Liz

MichelleB39

Hi all! I haven't been online in a week or so and just got caught up on all of your posts.

I started radiation last Thursday and have 7 treatments down, 26 to go. But, who's counting. So far, it's not bad at all. I lay on the table, naked from the waist up in a great "movie star" pose with my right arm above my head. It takes longer to line up my tatoos than the actual treatmemnt. I think each one is about 15 seconds and I three. It is very similar to xrays, just longer. I don't feel or see anything to know I am having a treatment. I am very fair skinned and they said my skin might get irritated like a sunburn, but so far nothing. Oh, they asked me to not wear deodorant on that underarm (the alcohol might irritate it).

I got my port out on Friday in the doctor's office. I was so nervous because I got it in the hospital while I was sleeping. This time I was wide awake! My port and I had finally become great friends and it had settled in pretty good. The surgeon numbed the area but I could feel tugging and I'm not going to lie to you. I could feel some pain. I was in and out in 20 minutes. I was sore the next day but am feeling much better this morning.

I hope to be finished with radiation by Nov.1st. I think I will throw a BIG SURVIVOR party!!!

Now, if only I could get some more hair. I had blonde thin hair before and now it looks like white peach fuzz. You can only see it in a certain light!

Jenster

Dana - You don't like hot flashes??? It's becoming a joke around here. I'll be in mid-sentence and all of a sudden whip off my hat or just start fanning myself saying, "Hot Flash! Hot Flash!" Now my kids are anticipating it and when I start to "whip" they start the chant for me. They also come over and start blowing on me.

Do you remember that scene from Home Alone where the thief's head catches on fire and he dowses it in the snow? That image plays through my mind every time I get a hot flash.

When will they go away, I wonder.

saleboat

I've been reading along but not posting much. Just wanted to report that I'm DONE!!! Good riddance to this sorry chapter! Best of luck to those finishing-up. Who else here is continuing with Herceptin?

JoMac

I'm having my port out in the Dr's office on Thurs.
I would have preferred doing it as an out patient because I would have been unconcious but this was the only way I could get it done before starting radiation.
So I will take some ativan and hope for the best .
The hot flashes have continued as has the eye gooey-ness.
But other than that I feel much better.
I've gained about five pounds in the two weeks since chemo ended.
I hope that doesn't continue.
I have my appt. with the radiologist on Monday.
It will be an hour long drive both ways.
I guess this will be our life for a while.

Watson

Yippee Skippee Saleboat!
Congrats on being done.

Well, as you can see, I survived the Hurricane! We didn't get the bad part. Didn't even lose power so far, thank God! Thanks for all your concerns!

No side effects from Taxotere so far. I think I read somewhere they can start up to a week after. Oh well, I"ll take it as it comes!

I have quite a bit of white peach fuzz going on. It started while still on AC. It's about 3/4 inch in most places. Solid white! I"m keeping it to see what happens. It may all still fall out again now that I"m on Taxotere anyhow.

Take care ladies!

Jenster

Yea Saleboat!! So happy for you!! Pretty soon we'll all be saying we're done. Oh Happy Day!!

Watson - I'm glad all's well with you. We're sitting here in Central Arkansas praying that we get some rain. They're planning for flooding to our south, but it's looking like it may not be as bad as they originally expected. Yay!

I had felt really good until this morning. Nothing major, though. Just tired and achy - but definitely manageable. But it's a great weekend to have nothing better to do than sit around and get caught up on the first season of "Lost". The kids hung Christmas lights last night and we camped out in the living room. lol. It was pretty fun until 2:00 and I had to go find my bed. Wasn't getting much sleep out there. We're going to try it again tonight. Silly, isn't it? Next weekend the husband will be home so this week we're just playing.

RebeccaH

Jo...glad you're singing something other than the blues. Hugs for making it this far!

Scout...I think I said it before, but if not...thanks for proving to us that chemo really does work!

Nancy...the onc didn't say what tests he would do. He is the nicest man I could ever want to be on my team, but he better not delay rads....or Towanda will kick him in the ass.

Has anyone had gall bladder issues while on chemo? I have this lingering pain in my stomach--under my ribs...in the middle. It's not nausea, either. I've had enough of that. After all of this crap I've been through, I can't seem to get the nerve to call and see if I should have it checked out. Don't want to call if it's only indigestion. Haven't taken anything for it.

I'll be SO glad when all of this over. I think everything is starting to get to me. I know there's a silver lining lurking somewhere out there.

Those dang hot flashes....fall temps aren't getting here fast enough!

JoMac

In a couple of hours I go for my first radiology appt. This weekend has been up and down. Saturday I was fine. I had a regular kind of day. Sunday I was tearful and anxious all day.
I have been reading books about moving on beyond the treatment phase.
I feel like I will have to read hundreds before I "get it".
This anxiety is just below the surface stalking me.
I did call my regular G.P. about it we agreed to try a tiny bit of ativan during the day to keep the anxiety under control. I already take two at bedtime.
Now I am having trouble giving myself permission to use ativan during the day. I feel like I should be able to tough it out or come to terms with the uncertainty.
Nobody is putting these perameters on me.
It is hard to know what to do. I expect a little experimentation will probably give me the answers I am looking for.
How do you all seem to cope with the anxiety so well?
Am I just too much of a "naval gazer" with too much time on my hands?
How do you handle hearing of people you know who are not doing well since finishing treatment?

2frogs1princess

You did it saleboat! Hooray for you! My last Taxol is Friday. I will continue with the Herceptin. I guess I'll find out Friday about when radiation starts.

I had a pretty crappy weekend. Developed a head cold on Friday so I already feel like crap, DH and my brother got in to major arguement, had to go to co-worker funeral Sat. who died 2 months to the day after dx with ovarian cancer, then me and DH got into major arguement about my brother, son had soccer tournament which lasted 3 1/2 hours (which was fun except for chasing my 20 month old around the whole time), and I had insomnia and stayed up and cried while on chat room here at 2 am. All that took place on Saturday. Normally things are quiet around my place but it all just overwhelmed me. Sunday I took a 3 hour nap. I feel better now, and DH and I are fine. Sorry to ramble.

Anybody else excited and nervous at the same time about finishing chemo? Believe me, I hate it, but I feel like it's my safety net and I'm not ready to walk the tightrope without it. Am I normal, or just weird?

~Mindy~

Scout

Had my second Taxotere today....only 4 more to go! I found out that the spots on my left breast are .6 and .9cm big. The dr doesn't want to biopsy them until the third week of October. Chemo will be over then. I'm thinking more and more about having a double mastectomy. I just have had too many scares over the past several months and I think I would feel safer having them off. Even if the the spots are B9, I am tired of the scares. First they thought, for sure, I had cancer in my nodes. Then, they thought for sure, I had cancer in my lungs, Then, they thought I had ovarian cancer, and now the spots on my left breast. Whew....that's alot of scares!
I know it's an option for me, unless the left turns out to BE cancer, but one I'm considering more and more.
Anyone else going through this?

2frogs1princess

I posted this under humor but wanted to share it with all of you too.
My son is in Kindergarten and learning all of the nursery rhymes and songs. He also play soccer. So this morning when he sang me this song I had to smile!
"Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb, Mary had a little lamb, her cleats were white as snow!"
He's so darned cute!
Oh, and by the way, I'm feeling much better since my last post.
Have a good Tuesday ladies!
~Mindy~

rmmom

Mindy I love it!! I do so miss the funny stuff I used to hear at school. Last week while waiting for the bus my 5 year old told the neighbor he was headed for work to which she replied looks like you are taking the bus to school. He said"You see I have to to take the bus, someone lost my car keys." They so funny aren't they:)
Well I met with the rad doctor, she is young and smart and really thinks I need to do it. I guess I met three of the five standards. What do you all think? I mean up until last week it was I was fine without, now it is you should do this. Why the change? I only get a shrug for that. I appreciate all in put here.
Yesterday I got to be the knowledgable vet. All new people with me. I didn't want to scare them to I told them it was all doable and not ALWAYS bad. Was that wrong-or do you think I should have been more honest? I am not sure I would have gone back if I have known about parts of these treatments. What to you think?
Six more Taxols
Hugs and prayers to all
Bev

Watson

Ladies,
It seems like some of you have had to make some decisions lately! It's always something, huh?

Bev, telling people that chemo is do-able is the truth! We're all still here, aren't we?

JoMac, maybe dwelling on BC is part of the problem. I know that for ME, constantly reading about it just keeps me wrapped up into it. I know everyone is different, but the best way for me to get past all this is to go out and live! Continuous reading seems like it would just keep bringing you back to the subject you're trying to get past!Remember, there are no guarantees no matter how many books you read. And as for hearing about other people who aren't doing well.........they're not you!
Did you work outside the home before BC? What are some of the things you used to do before BC that you've not done lately? Returning back to your 'healthy' schedule may put you in a better mind set.
Sorry I rambled! Those are just my opinions! (I've got plenty, huh?)

I just got back from doctor for 6 yr old. He's got pneumonia! We don't mess around here! lol Oh, well, more drama.

Later ladies

Jenster

Pneumonia!? I'm so sorry. I had to go pick up my 10-year-old daughter because she threw up at school. Apparently there's a stomach virus going around. Yay.

My MIL is paying to have a lady come in every other week and clean my house. You know, bathrooms, floors, dusting, etc. It's quite nice except for that the house has to be picked up for her to do her thing. I find myself working even harder preparing for her to come and clean than I would if I was just doing it all myself. **sigh**

LizFL

Watson...great advice about just going out and living...and it was something I needed to hear today! With two treatments left, I am already freaking out about the thought of getting the results of the PET scan when I'm done. Hope the little one recovers quickly!

Jenster...I know what you mean... we have someone clean every other week and by the time I pick up before she gets here it seems like a lot of work... but it's great to see how good things look after she's been here! I have back problems so this works out for me...no fun working all week and then ending up with a backache from doing floors on the weekend. Hope your little one feels better too!

Decision making is tough...I pray all those needing to make some feel comfortable with their choices.

Hugs to all,
Liz

bmck

Has anyone's periods returned? I finished with chemo almost 3 weeks now and I have been having some mild low back pain and some cramping, all signs of my period coming before cancer struck! Could my cycle come back this quick after chemo? It seems kind of sudden but what do I know? Thanks!

Cathi

Anonymous

JoMac,
Have you tried anti-depressants? I was on them for stress related problems for 3 years, then I quit in May of 2005. When my BC diagnosis came in I started having full blown anxiety attacks. I had to go back on the anti-depressants. The difference is night and day. Plus you don't get addicted to anti-depressants. I figure, well, I do have something to be depressed about. I think of it as helping my cells "behave".
I go for my first chemo in October. Take care!

JoMac

Brenda S,
Thankyou for your suggestion. Anti-depressents have not worked for me in the past. The side effects have been too powerful.
The good news is when I met with the radiologist on Monday she prescribed an anti-anxiety drug called clonapan. This drug works for a longer period of time than ativan.
So for the past two days I have been trying this new drug. I have found 1/2 of what she recommended keeps me from feeling the fear that had become my constant companion.
Once that fear got "turned on" I wasn't able to turn it off.
Part of this is the realization of my cancer stage. (Although no surrender assures me this is no longer a cause for deep concern).
Tomorrow I have my port out in the surgeons office. I will take the full amount of clonopan for that.
I will continue to use this drug since I can see it could give me a quality of life back that I had clearly lost.

NancyM

Melissa Etheridge is going to be on Oprah tomorrow, talking about her bc experience...and I will be home from my LAST chemo in time to watch!!

Jenster

Just got back from my CBC. White count was, as usual, low, but not enough for the Neupagen. I'm glad, too, because the last time I got Neupagen one week after chemo it threw me off schedule by a week. So I anticipate the shots next week, which will boost my WBC enough for chemo in two weeks. SOOOO, if I can stay on this schedule I only have five weeks left!!

My nurse called in a prescription for diflucan. The magic mouthwash is hardly touching the thrush. It's so disgusting!!

So here I am, living in a bubble with a fuzzy tongue.

Jennifer

Jenster

Did any of you see Melissa Ethridge on "Oprah"? I was sorely disappointed as she was only interviewed for about 10 minutes. She had good things to say, but I'm guessing she could have said a lot more.

One thing, though, is that she talked about how painful chemo was and how she laid in bed for six months. She couldn't even listen to music or watch TV. I thought that was pretty odd.

Jen