A story of about Mom. 12 years fight till the very end

I feel a need to share a story about my Mom.

My Mom passed away on 17th June 2008.

Twelve years ago she suspected a tiny grain on her right breast as cancer. By huge mistake a sample was taken with a needle, opening skin to the air, allowing it to grow. Doctors back in Ukraine weren't very educated on how to help a person to go through initial fear of having disease, what are the options, consequences, treatments and true picture of side effects. Basically Mom got frightened by all of this in addition to the fear of giving her family trouble going through hospitals and years of therapies.

Every year whole family begged to change her mind. Six years ago when cancer already grew to the size of a huge egg she persuaded us to immigrate to Canada. She was continuously looking for a better future for her family. We had full of hard work and excitement 2002, 2003 and 2004 years in Canada, until cancer spread into lymph, ate whole breast and occasionally bleed. In 2004 and 2005 whole family reunited, these were the years of most joy and happiness.

Last final 3 years it was a battle for life, with very good days and month to very bad days in bed and hospitals. It started when the lung collapsed; we were admitted to BC Cancer agency. Doctors gave us 12 to 18 month. Fluid had to be drained at the beginning daily, then weekly for about 9 month. Change of blood, radiation and pamedronate against excessive calcium helped a lot. Then the situation was more or less stabilized. For two months in the hospital she was learning to walk again.

2006 and 2007 were years of hundreds chemo and radiations, continues changes of blood and pamedronate series. Since Mom was constantly at home she found herself new hobbies - poems, painting, walking in parks. She always asked us to avoid any contacts with her old friends. It was hard for her to see friend's eyes when these big changes were happening to her body. All the 3 years pain was unbearable. It was hard to watch her taking at times 20 to 30 painkillers per day.

Canadian health system supported her greatly: home care nurses, Red Cross chairs and beds, BC Cancer agency and at the end Palliative Care units. We are all very thankful to all the nurses and doctors that helped. Although at times I wish some were more sensible to continuously giving bold statements which we already knew.

In 2008 Mom was admitted to Palliative care. There was tumour in liver that blew her tummy big and another in the middle of spinal cord that disabled the legs just within 2 weeks. 10 days later our Mom died. She died from the heart attack in front of my Father's eyes, probably because of high doses of morphine to cope the pain and days of no food or drinks. She fought for her life till the very end, telling us "2 more years", "i will stand up and walk". Her high spirit is still with us.

I felt need to share in case people are going through same, in case you are making same mistakes, looking for answers. But mostly, I felt need to express how much it is important to appreciate and Love what you have now and today, and show it with everything you do.

Don't be afraid to show your Love.

I will always Love you Mom!
Your son, Dima.