Movie warnings...post the movies that blindsided you.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2008

    The other day I recorded a movie called Disturbia, noted to be about a tween who thinks his neighbor may be a serial killer (I know,,,but no cancer!) Shows son and dad fishing and having a good time for a couple of minutes, then they are rammed from behind on the way home (while talking to Mom on the phone) by a pickup truck. The car is upside down and right when they are telling each other they are OK, the truck comes at them full speed again for another hit, this time you KNOW the dad won't make it!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!! I never hit the delete button so fast!!!!!!!

    I'm with y'all -- comedies only!!! 

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  • cmharris59
    cmharris59 Member Posts: 496
    edited July 2008

    I was blindsided by the movie "Blow Dry". Watched it while I was going thru chemo. One of the women has cancer. They do not say what kind. However, I have to say I still LOVE this movie and I bought it. I do not get too angry over Hollywood making movies about cancer or even people dying of cancer. I realize that they are hard to watch for those who have suffered the horrors of cancer first or second hand.  But it does have the ability, if done properly, to illustrate to those who have no idea what kind of pain we endure emotionally and physically, to get at least some picture of it.  There are still too many ignorant people out there.

    One of the reasons I loved Blow Dry adn I have already posted the quote on another thread but here it goes again.  The woman with cancer says:

    Yes, I have tried chemotherapy, radiotherapy, holistic massage, bollicky potions from China, adn monkey's piss.

    I have to say that one line says it all for my experience with cancer treatments. 

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  • pip57
    pip57 Member Posts: 12,401
    edited July 2008

    psycologoboy

    First of all it is quite different being the person who is dying and being close to a person who is dying.  Huge difference.  

    Secondly, these are just movies that blindsided us.  Most of them were expected to be about something else but part of the story hit home with us as we watched it. That is why we are sharing this info.  We may still decide to watch a movie but will be better prepared.  We are not advocating that these movies not be made.

    Lastly, I think it is great that one of these movies helped you understand and work through your grief.  They can be very helpful for a lot of people.  However, when you are not expecting it and your life appears on the screen in front of you, it can really throw you for a loop.   

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  • spar2
    spar2 Member Posts: 6,827
    edited July 2008

    I loved the bucket list and laughed until I cried and then cried from sadness.  I thought it was a wonderful movie. I had a bucket list and did a lot of things of it.

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  • RRR
    RRR Member Posts: 39
    edited July 2008

    Last Christmas my 16 y/o daughter wanted the DVD "In the Land of Women".  She had seen it in the movies and knew I liked Meg Ryan.  It is a relationship movie with Meg as a mom, her daughter, a young male neighbor and his grandmother. Since I was done with chemo and busy growing my new hair, I made the comment "at least I can try a Meg Ryan movie hairdo" (think French Kiss).  Anyway, partway through the movie, my horrified daughter turns to me and says I am so sorry, the mom (Meg) gets breast cancer. I told her not to worry, we'll keep watching.  Fast forward to Meg after chemo, bald with a knit cap on her head.  My daughter says to me, well I think you have a Meg hairdo now.  It was one of those laughs that only her and I could have together.

    Another movie to take me by surprise was "Here on Earth" with LeeLee Sobieski as a girl in a small town who falls in love with a rich bad boy, thus ending her relationship with her childhood sweetheart.  It came on late night TV after something else I was watching and during the whole movie I kept thinking go to bed already, this is a dumb teen love story.  At the end, it turns out that LeeLee has incurable cancer in her leg and dies just minutes later.  Arrrgh!!!! I should have gone to bed.

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  • Analemma
    Analemma Member Posts: 1,622
    edited July 2008

    So now that I've been reminded of an incident nearly three years ago, I'd like to hear you ladies' take on it.  It was Christmas Day, and my husband's family (siblings) all had gone to the nursing home to see his dad.  I was just barely out of treatment, nearly bald.  I mentioned to my sil that we were thinking about going to the movie, and she said "Go to see The Family Stone, it's really cute."  Well, we did, and it ruined the day.  I couldn't believe she was that stupid or insensitive, and my husband is convinced she did it from malevelolence (none of his family acknowledged my cancer, sent a card, telephoned - nothing).  I still wonder how she could have done this, and part of me wants to send her an email and tell her so.  It's been 2 1/2 years, and now I have mets.  My husband no longer speaks to but one of his brothers.  When I was reading this thread this morning, and I came on the post by Texgirl that said she saw it on Christmas Day, it brought tears to my eyes to remember how we felt at my sil's insensitivity and meanness.  I no longer have room in my life for negative people, but part of me wants to tell her so.  What do you think?

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  • RRR
    RRR Member Posts: 39
    edited July 2008

    Analemma,

    I would let it go. Whether she told you to see the movie through stupidity or mean-spiritedness, I would not give her the satisfaction of letting her know how much it hurt you then and over two years later still hurts you now. After my diagnosis, I too decided I did not have time for negative people and also how I am just not going to spend my precious energy on things that do not matter anymore. You need your strength and energy to work on your mets. Still, it is easier said than done....my ex-husband was insensitive to me early on in treatment, actually the only person who has said anything stupid. I dealt with it at the time and now just communicate with him when it relates to our daughter. I can't avoid him completely. It still upsets me at times.

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  • trk_koa
    trk_koa Member Posts: 55
    edited July 2008

    "She Drives Me Crazy" was just on Lifetime. I came in after it had already started but it looked like a good relationship movie about estranged sisters learning to be family again. Wouldn't you know it, near the end one sister finds out the other has had BC and now has mets. So OK, I tear up a little but I watch and I thought it was going to be cool since the one with BC goes ahead and gets married. Now wouldn't that have been a poignant and hopeful way to end it?. But NO! They had to do the one year later thing and have the sister release balloons to her sister's memory. ARGH!

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  • peapot
    peapot Member Posts: 72
    edited July 2008

    analemma,  Not to take up for the SIl if you don't like her, but I didn't catch the cancer thing the first time i watched it and the 2nd time I watched it on TBS and they cut the scar part out so i never did know what she had, just that she  died, maybe it was the same for her if she only saw it once.. or maybe she's goofy and can't help it!!

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  • badboob67
    badboob67 Member Posts: 2,780
    edited July 2008

    I actually INTENTIONALLY watched the Michael Keaton/Nicole Kidman film "My Life" on cable a couple of weeks ago. Michael is dx'ed with some kind of cancer (I missed the first part of the film) that eventually goes to his brain. I had seen it years ago when it first came out but couldn't remember much about it. Most of the movie is devoted to Michael's character making videos of himself for his unborn child; some (stupid!) part of me thought it might motivate me to do something similar for my kids or at least give me some ideas.

    I found myself getting angry as I watched him go through 90% of the film looking perfectly normal--no weekly chemos, no hair loss, no vomiting, no...well, no "real life" cancer experience if you ask me. It was while watching that I realized why I was so blindsided by the reality of metastatic cancer. Hollywood would have us believe that you go to the doctor, they tell you "six months" and you are fine until you just drop dead! There were only 3 or 4 scenes in the movie that showed Michael actually looking sick and being bedridden. He was lucid right up until the final scene where he dies.

    I liked the movie when I first saw it. Seeing it now that metastatic bc has open my eyes, I found myself wishing I had the writer's name so I could send a scathing letter. I think it's movies like this one that contribute to people seeing a metster who is undergoing very difficult treatments and is in pain not acknowledging the fact because they don't "look" sick.  So many movies romaticize the whole thing.

    I also had a dear friend suggest "Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy" shortly after my diagnosis. That just depressed me.

    Brenda, passive-aggressiveness like that just stinks! You should find a film with the main female character who is a real b-word and ignorant, buy a copy, then give it to the s-i-l saying, "I loved this movie. The main character reminded me of you!"

    ((HUGS))
    Diane

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  • RRR
    RRR Member Posts: 39
    edited July 2008

    Diane,

    "My Life" has been on my do not watch list for years.  I had seen it before and then after my Mom passed away from Ovarian cancer 8 yrs ago and had thought the same thing. Not a real life cancer experience - no mess or pain with him trotting off alone for his alternative therapy treatment, then passing away rather gently at the end. My Mom started at Stage 4 with mets and ascites, had a few windows of time of feeling okay.  Still, there was no mistaking her for a cancer patient with her wig (always a little askew, I know now she should have used a wig sock), her medi-alert bracelet, lots of things that you just knew she was not well.  At her services, a few came to me to ask if her end was peaceful - it was hard for her. I guess they wanted to hear it was like a happily but sad ever after.

    I go to a website, www.IMDB.com to check out movies that I am unsure of before or if I have not seen it in awhile to be sure it is something I can cope with because there are so many movies you think will be a comedy and turn out to be one with a "message" - to heck with that.  I want to see Mamma Mia this week, even if it doesn't get great reviews, I hope it will make me laugh.  You might try entering the movie name or cross-referencing Michael Keaton's name and you can find the writer's name if you want to vent.

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