my journey

i am 43 years old. on 24 june 2008 i was diagnosed with breast cancer (malignant phyllodes tumors is all i know) i was so much taken unaware i didnt know how to respond. i remember asking "am i going to die"? and fled the hospital as quick as i could. I couldnt breath and suffered with shortness of breath and panick attacks for a week. I returned for another appointment with my surgeon and plastic surgeon. my breast surgeon advised a mastectomy. while the plastic surgeon a diep flap reconstruction. Because i have a very large fibroid in my tummy i cannot have the reconstruction done at same time plus i will be having radiotherapy. so i will be having mastectomy and hysterectomy at the same time followed by rads then reconstruction. Tomorrow i am due to have a ct scan i do not know what this may or may not reveal but i am frightened to death of the unknown especially as i dont even know what grade etc my cancer is in my breast. i dont know if ignorance is bliss but im sure im soon to find out. my ct results are on tues so im sure i will understand a lot more that is happening than i do now.