Mom Diagnosed on Dad's Bday

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10041
10041 Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)

My mom was recently diagnosed w/ invasive ductal carcinoma.  My mom told me that it was on her right breast and the cancer was the size of the metal tip of a tape measure.  Found out the results from the biopsy on my Dad's bday.  Family never going to be the same again.  Don't live w/ them.  Have to work out of state but will be coming back for a week to take care of her after the surgery.  The family's decided to have a mastectomy to aggrestively treat the cancer.  Really, really scared and feel really, really alone.  I can only imagine what my mom feels.  Being this far apart from her really stinks because I know that she needs me to be there physically but because I support the family myself, I have to work.

There must be a reason why God gave this to us.  I know there is.  I keep telling myself that there's a light at the end of the tunnel and that it's going to be okay but I can't seem to see that light when the tears are falling all the time.

Just wanted to share this to the world.  There's hope.  I know it.  I know it.  I know it.

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  • scareesheree
    scareesheree Member Posts: 3
    edited July 2008

    Hi 10041, you are not alone. I am a Mother of a 25 year old and a Grandmother of a 16 month Grandson and I was diagnosed in June with invasive ductal carcinoma. I had my sugery last thursday. Lumpectomy and axillary dissection. My tumor was the size of a nickel. My daughter and I live at opposite ends of the country. I am 46 years old. The first thing She wanted to do was to get on a plane. My surgery went well and I didn't need any help afterwards. A nurse came to see me every two days. She feels the same way as you do. We speak sometimes 4 or 5 times a day. Just let your Mom know that you love her and support her. Remember, she loves you too. It is ok to be scared.....and it is ok to cry. Your tears will help you heal. Hope is just around the corner.

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  • hutspa
    hutspa Member Posts: 98
    edited July 2008

    hello....please know there are others who understand.....my mom was diagnoised 51/2 years ago....i am an only child and i quickly became the mom (funny how roles reverse)...i am fortunate that i live 5 minutes away and have a job that allows me to be there for everything....it is VERY DRAINING....emotionaly and physically for your mom & family....BE STRONG, i would suggest making yourself available perhaps after surgerys and the on start of chemo....chemo can b tough for a while and after a few rounds she may b better left alone to recover....be there when you can, call often and let her know you love her......dont carry guilt...this is no ones fault and you must continue with your life to help her live hers (she'd want that im sure)....stay positive, with todays treatment options they are trying to CURE her :)

    dana

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  • 10041
    10041 Member Posts: 2
    edited July 2008

    UPDATE.  Surgery just finished this afternoon.  I'm not there.  My sibling is there for this week and I'm coming in next week.  Trying to stay strong.

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  • Tammychat
    Tammychat Member Posts: 15
    edited July 2008

    10041...please know that this is a great forum for support.  I was only 16 when my mom was diagnosed and that was almost 18 years ago and she is still around.  So hang in there...it is tough to see your mom go through this and it is hard for your dad as well so be there for both of them and we will be there for you.  Keep up the hope because there IS HOPE!!! My mom was diagnosed with Stage IV aggressive cancer and she made it.  Stay strong and we will be thinking about you and the family!!!!

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  • Roberta77
    Roberta77 Member Posts: 45
    edited May 2009

    I can only imagine how frightened you must feel. I was lucky to live in the same city as my mom and was able to be there for her. Any kind of cancer is scary and a hard diagnosis to accept. But try not to think too far ahead or to let your imagination conjure up worst case scenarios. Like your mom, you have to take this one step at a time. Just let her know you love her and that she is free to talk about it as much or as little as she wants.

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