Anyone starting Chemo in August 07?

Hey Everyone,

I recently got a new 'puter and for some reason this site wouldn't let me sign on.  Finally today after doing the same %$#*&&%$ thing I have been doing it allowed me to once again join my sisters.  Do you all have a 'love/hate' relationship with your computers like I do.  My neighbor told me once that for her it was just like her husband...'can't live with em and can't live without em.'  LOL 

Kaye, your dress is smashing!  Congrats on the weight loss too...you'll make it and be the creature no one can take their eyes off.  (no wisecracks back girl!) 

I had to laugh over the camping remarks.  My husband has told people for years that June's idea of camping was the closest Holiday Inn at minimum.  When mine were little I used to sit at the campsites and moan to myself that I have a dishwasher and washer and dryer and a pool in the backyard and a fenced yard.......what AM I doing here????     I also experienced first hand during the aftermath of a hurricane that I am just not pioneer stock...no sir ree! 

Well, tomorrow is my trek to the surgeon for an all day visit.  My appt. is 7:10am and I usually get finished around 3p.  They will do my first mammogram (since diagnosis) an ultra sound and possibly a bilateral MRI.  The way this office works is that they are all female surgeons and radiologists.  After rotating to all the tests then you are seated in the inner waiting area and eventually called to the exam room.  All of the tests are read by one of the radiologists and then they conference with your surgeon.  This can take several hours as the docs are continually seeing patients and running back for the conferences. However,  by the time your surgeon gets to you in the exam room she has the results of all of your tests......so no waiting for days for results.  I think there are pros and cons to this.  The day can get very long while you're waiting and the anxiety levels can get very high, especially as there isn't much to distract you except to read or visit with the person next to you.   I'm really anxious as to how I will tolerate the mammogram on my affected breast.  It is still very sore from the surgeries and the radiation.  Guess I'll just have to wait and see.  Anyway, I'm putting on my positive face and marching myself there bright and early! 

Hope all is well with everyone.

June

June,

Good luck tomm.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Hugs, Jackie

When I saw you had just updated, Nash, I immediately got a lump in my throat.  I have been checking in, afraid of when this post would come.  All along, l somehow kept the beautiful, twinkling thought in my mind that maybe somehow, I'd log in and see a post from Kimmie, herself, saying "thanks for the cards everybody.  It's hard, but I am hanging on."  It sucks.  It just plain sucks.        

Oh, this hurts so much.  Like most of us I've been hoping and hoping and praying for a miracle  for her.  And like like you all,  everytime I have opened this thread my heart has been in my throat.  Nash, did the S-I-L say how the children were?  I will be praying for them. 

I feel really selfish reporting on how my day went at the surgeons but I promised you I would and here it is.  We were there about 7 hours from start to finish.  The mammo was very uncomfortable but much better than I had expected.  While I was there I quizzed my tech and surgeon regarding mammos on reconstructed breasts or a bare chest wall. They both said exactly the same thing:  a mammo can be done on almost any chest wall regardless of what is there.  The difference when you've had reconstruction is that they must use lighter compression but also must take many more pictures and angles.  Practices differ on if or how often they are done.  In her practice they are usually not done unless something is felt/found/or suspected.  They do however order an ultra sound on some sort of a regular basis and don't hesitate to do an MRI.

After mammo and ultra sound completed, DH and I were placed in the exam room and only had a 45 minute wait here.  She said the mammo looked good and clear.  You can hear the but coming, can't you?  However, the ultra sound showed something funky on BOTH breasts and she wasn't comfortable with it.  Long story short:  I'm scheduled to return on Aug. 14th. for another ultra sound and if things haven't 'cleared' then she will do a double biopsy.  Needless to say it will be a very long 6 weeks until the appointment and in the meantime I guess I climb back on 'the worry train' once again.  I'm trying really hard to be positive especially for my husband, but girls I'm as frightened tonight as I probably have ever  been in this long past year.  Thanks for listening as always.  Hugs to all.

June

Also, the SIL mentioned that cards for Kim have been arriving in the mail, and she's very touched.

Thanks for the update Nash.  I too have been checking daily and praying for a miracle.  I don't know what else to say.  This hurts so much.

June everything is going to be fine.  And that goes for everyone else.  We've had enough!  I'm going to will us all to health and happiness.

Thank you for the update Nash. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Cancer is a six letter word that deserves a fvery strong four letter word reply.  I do play guitar, Kaye, and I'm gonna go play a song for Kimmie right now. It's one I wrote a little while ago when I was feeling a need for peace. Kimmie, peace to you. I know you aren't reading this, but know we love you. This song's for you.

Stardust

When you wake up in the morning, after a long and cold night. 
When you feel worried and lonely, open your eyes, you are light.

And just look for the sunlight,
let it fill up your eyes.
Feel the light, flowing through you.
You are one with the skies.

Sing me a song of creation. Tell me a fanciful tale.
Every moment is fiction. Truth is obscured by a veil.

And we are light. We breathe light.
There is nothing, but air.
There is no need for searching,
we are already there.

And just look, for the sunlight.
Let it fill up your eyes.
You are made out of stardust.
You are more than you realize.

Peace, love  and light to you all tonight.

DeAnn

DeAnn,

I have the chills up my arms.  That song is absolutely beautiful.  Thank you so much for sharing it.

Hugs, Jackie

... hoping that everyone is doing well, and yes, I am praying for you June, that your us is clear on Aug. 14th. 

I'm so sad about Kim, for her children to lose their Mom at such a tender age!   

I just want to get up and punch something, I get so mad!  It is just not fair!

Thanks so much everyone......you all know what your love and support means to us especially when we're frightened.

Well s*** DeAnne.......like I haven't cried a couple of buckets since yesterday and then I read your song lyrics and the flood gates of Niagara Falls come to visit!  How very beautiful and how very moving......you are so talented.  Are you in the right profession lady? 

Nash, that's a super idea to send the song to Kim if DeAnne is willing. 

lillith, you will win them over big time...I just know it.  How far is Napa Valley from where Kaye and Nash are? 

A blessed evening to all....

June

DeAnn, I'll e-mail the lyrics to Kim's SIL. I know it will mean a lot to her, and even if Kim is sedated, hospice always says the patient can still hear what is said to them.

June, Napa is about 8 hours from where we are. Bummer. Napa is gorgeous, though--I've always wanted to visit there--it's all wine country, and extraordinarily scenic. Lilith, I know everything will go well!

Hi, Suz. Thank you for starting the candle group--I just went over there and lit one. I'll forward the link to Kim's family. This is a really nice idea.

Hi Suz, So nice to hear from you! 

The song is pretty easy to play if you know some basic chords. (and I didn't know you played guitar too, Kaye! I will check out that site you mentioned). I used D, A, EM and G chords primarily and it is in 3/4 time. I got some recording equipment and software a couple weeks ago that I've been playing around with trying to figure out how it all works and how to get a decent sound. It was actually good to get because I noticed all the bad noises I was making on my guitar that I wouldn't have really noticed otherwise.  I also can tell a lot easier when my voice is going flat! (too often!). The recording made me realize I needed to get back into my lessons to progress a bit farther. I was taking acoustic lessons for awhile, but I've really gotten into my electric guitar lately, so I'm taking lessons from a friend. 

If I can get a good recording, I'll figure out some way to get you all access to an MP3 version of it. My DH is going out of town on Sunday, so hopefully I can get a recording done before then or you all will have to wait until he gets back since I really don't know what I'm doing! 

Happy 4th to everyone! Again, if anyone happens to be in my neighborhood (Minneapolis) on July 19th, plan to come to my big party. 

DeAnn