How do I tell my husband?

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Destiny50
Destiny50 Member Posts: 13
edited June 2014 in IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer)

Hi. I was wondering if anyone could give me some advise? Almost 5 weeks ago my husband of 29 years went away on business. When he left I had a red quarter sized flat rash on my breast for 2 months. It didn't hurt or itch so no worries. The day after he left I looked up this skin rash online and it started the entire trip that led to the biopsy today. I figured he didn't need to worry while he was gone. He's coming home on Wednesday. In the meantime, his mother has been diagnosed with cancer. I don't know how to approach it. I had a lumpectomy (benign) before and he didn't handle it well. I also want to know if , with a punch biopsy, I feel confident that the results are certain if they come back negative. My breast has gotten larger.My friends are mostly men or my employees. I have no one to talk to about this. I'm scared.

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  • LUVmy2girlZ
    LUVmy2girlZ Member Posts: 2,394
    edited June 2008

    Destiny~

    I am sorry for your uncertainty..waiting and worrying can take its toll and sharing the news is the worst especially if  there is family history.  You have certainly come to the right place from questions/concerns or just as you said, "Someone to talk to"

    I am sure your husband would want you to tell him...I would tell him just as soon as he returns and tell him your plan of action...stay positive about it and reassure him that you are doing this as early detection is key .  BC is a survivable disease and no one has told you that you have cancer.  Keep the faith and BEST of luck w/  your biopsy.  Remember that your first lumpectomy came out negative thank goodness...and this too can be just a scare but you have to make certain just to be sure. 

    Keep us posted in the meantime....we love to hear good newsWink

    Much LUV

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  • AnnNYC
    AnnNYC Member Posts: 4,484
    edited June 2008

    Destiny,

    I think the punch biopsy will be definitive about the area of the rash that was sampled.

    But I don't know that much about IBC -- for instance, whether you could have a rash that was your main symptom, but not cancer, and still need an actual breast biopsy?  Maybe the information on THIS LINK will be helpful to you -- and hopefully someone will come along to add to what I've said.

    About telling your husband -- I think you might feel like telling him as soon as he gets home, or maybe even now, since he's on his way home.  I don't know if you feel like telling him how worried you are, or if you just want to open the window on the fact that you're getting something checked out -- but he will see you soon, and I think he would want to feel included in whatever you're going through. [You don't have to tell him you've been worrying for 2 months, if you don't want to!]  You might want to at least say, "I just went to the doctor today and they wanted to check out this spot..."

    It's awful to go through this worry.  I so hope you get benign results.

    Hugs,

    Ann

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