MOJO Without Matrimony!
Comments
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YAAAAAY, ROSE!!!! That is awesome! Chemo down and a whole new life beginning (with mojo yet
!)!Aren't those tapes amazing? If I was feeling especially self-conscious and worried, I'd press so hard on them that I'd take half my scalp off when I tried to get the wig off. I can't do anything moderately, it seems....
Y'all, I gotta tell you that I'm drowning in online men-of-interest! Some look way hot too. But I'm conflicted because of how I feel about P. He's coming home from his man-cation tonight, but I'm busy every night until Saturday, so.....
~Marin
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Marin, when it rains it pours! About 6 months after my exH and I separated, we decided to give our marriage a try again, see a counselor, etc. I had only gone on a couple of first dates at that point, but I had to email no fewer than SEVEN guys to tell them that I was no longer in the dating market. I have to say, that felt kind of good, a nice little self-esteem boost.
Then 4 months later when H and I decided the marriage was really over, I emailed one of them to say "I don't know your circumstances, but I'm looking to meet more single parents -- want to have coffee sometime?" We've been dating since March of last year....
Anyway, I hope that Saturday night is a good one for you! ;-)
WR, I hope your guy continues to behave -- that is, I hope he is respectful whatever you end up doing together! And do let us know if you decide to take the wig off at any point. I've ditched the wig for a scarf when I'm with dbf but I definitely won't go bareheaded. I mean, who wants to make love to Uncle Fester??? (no disrespect intended to all you wonderful brave women who are proudly bald and beautiful -- it's just me, I feel like an alien without my hair!)
Lauren
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> I mean, who wants to make love to Uncle Fester???
My feelings exactly! (I feel funny without my hair, too, especially after having butt-length hair for 10 years.) He does say that he doesn't care if I'm bald and missing a boob, but neither of us will know how we feel about the mojo with the bald and the one boob until we take it for a test drive. I will probably do what you are doing: the wig or a scarf when we're together.
He has continued with his good behavior and is looking forward to my visiting for a couple of weeks before I go on to the new job. He's been working his butt off - he's doing crop research and his test field is a two hour drive from his office - and he still manages to spend time with me on IM before he collapses into his bed.
I'm still happily anticipating our "test drive" in about a month or so..... :-D
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You awesome women totally amaze me! I swear to you, on a stack of Masters & Johnsons, that I could no more take my wig off in front of my bf (I was in a committed relationship throughout tx) than I could bathe in a tub of worms! I mean I was completely obsessed and if I detected ANY evidence that I looked "unnatural" (as in he could tell it was a wig because it was a bit crooked or whatever), I'd have a psychotic episode! It really was what held me together, I think, the delusion that everything was fine and normal and I was a hot, gorgeous babe. And ya know what? If I need chemo again and lose my hair yet again, I KNOW that I'll be just as insane again. So although I may have gained a tremendous amount of self-knowlege and serenity after my active battle with the beast, some things just never change and I guess, for me, its my vanity. Oy.
But more power to you brave girls....I truly think it's absolutely the epitome of courage!
~Marin
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Well said Marin!!!!
I opted out of chemo due to a low oncotypeDX score and my dx in general, but when I was thinking about chemo the hair thing was the thing that scared me the most!!! Hell, I dont even wear my hair short because I think I have Dumbo ears....just the mental image that I have of myself bald and my ears makes me quake in my shoes, I cant imagine going bald with a man!!!!!
That part that I like best about what Marin said was the COURAGE you woman have....
The only thing I want to add to that is: CONFIDENCE....you ladies have so much in yourselves and your SO's....I dont think I have ever had a relationship that I am or would be that confident in and I know I dont have it in myself to that degree.
You ladies deserve the BEST!!!!!! and heck, Im just plain proud of you for being who you are.
Hugs
Jule
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Hope everyone has a good weekend. And if it comes about (yes you Marin lol) don't forget "the butterfly". I'm dying for someone else to road test it to see if they get equally mind-blowing results.
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I can tell you ladies my week has been grand and the weekend is looking just as good
.My guy has stayed with me most of the week and sounds like he is going to be around for the weekend too!!!
Well girls, gotta run...Im knee deep in wedding cake!!!! My best friends daughter is getting married Saturday and some way or other I got talked into making the wedding cake...I use to do these professionally but that was a really long time ago so am praying that I havent lost my touch!!!! Originally I thought it was going to be a small wedding but it has bloomed into a 150 person garden wedding so the cake is huge!!!
and YES, mojo is alive and well at Jules ...I had kind of forgotten what it was like to have it whenever my little heart desires....I told David that I think Im beginning to remember but Im still running tests so will give him my decision at a later date ...now is that being bad or what
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Wow a wedding cake - sound yummy.
I hope everyone has a good weekend
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Oh Jules...EVERYTHING sounds awfully yummy!!!!!!! I need to get me some of that too....and I'm not talkin' wedding cake!
I've got a date for brunch with a new "match" tomorrow and then will spend Sunday with P. Gotta tell ya, y'all, I'm freakin' exhausted from the effort to "be good" and soooooooo not used to it. I've been dating P. now for 2 months and I'm planning to let the "real me" finally emerge....and she's BAD, fer sure!
I'm right behind ya, Jule! But Lori, I don't think those gymnastics would be a good idea to try on a new guy....we'll be lucky if we fit the correct body parts together effectively on the first run, ya know?
Happy Mojo-ing, everyone!!!
~Marin
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Yeah Marin....I thought of that after I brought it up. Who needs new positions when you haven't even tried the old ones? lol Oh well...there's always the morning after.
Cake sounds yummy...mojo sounds better. Our visiting family leaves Monday after nearly two weeks. ARGH! It's been a blast, but I'm feeling more than a bit deprived.
Still happy for you Jule!
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Well, as I reported on the "First Dates" thread, I've met another guy who I'd really like to get with again, so I'm considering not givin' it up to P. quite yet. I mean, I totally want to get laid, but I don't want to get confused and having sex with him might complicate things for me. I might just let it all percolate a bit longer. How bad could that be?
I can totally picture myself getting completely wild for this new guy, Jim. His looks are my "type," if you know what I mean? I always get hot for tall, muscular-but-lanky men, and if they look "ethnic" I'm lost! He's Lebanese and looks it (yummy eyes). And finally, he's totally bald (like Charlotte's Harry in SATC, ya know) and though I never thought I'd be attracted to a bald guy, being bald myself seems to have actually released my prejudices and I find it waaaay sexy! So we'll see if it goes anywhere...because I know where I'd like it to go!
~Marin
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He sounds HOT Marin, Good Luck! I hope he's as yummy as he looks.
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Marin, I'm not much into 'bald' either, but lately that's been a common theme for men and I've actually taken double and triple looks at handome bald guys!!!
I, myself, have been too good of a grrrl lately - very unfortunately! I'm off to London this Sunday so maybe I'll find a nice British bloke to play with? Have condom, will travel.....
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Alright, you Mojo Maniacs, I'm going to need to look elsewhere for my goodies because this dude is either gay or waaaaaaay too self-controlled for me and my needs! Holy crap, y'all, since I was 13, I've never been on a date where the guy wasn't screaming to get into my pants, but this guy doesn't even seem to be thinking about it! It's all good, in a way though, because he's very sweet and polite and generous, not to mention fun and interesting. We had a fabulous day and enjoyed the arts, coffee, shopping at a food specialty store and a wonderful seafood dinner. Back to my house for coffee and chocolate....and nuthin' more. It's okay 'cause now I know.
AND.....guess who I had an email from tonight? Yep, hot guy from yesterday and he wants to get together for some fine Lebanese food. I am sooooooo there!
Waiting now to hear all of your reports on your weekend escapades.....Jule???? Jay....any Brit booty? Pepper? Lori? Lorena? Anyone?????
~Marin
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Marin, could he really be gay? Because it seems like you have a real connection, I agree that by this point it's odd that he "doesn't even seem to be thinking about it." I hope you can stay friends and I hope that things work out with guy #2. Lebanese food, mmm that sounds good, I love all kinds of Middle Eastern food!
Nothing for me, I spent the weekend in Florida with my 7-year-old son and my 90-year-old grandma. (That is to say, it was a nice weekend but nothing in the way of mojo, obviously!) I have surgery coming up this Thursday (right mastectomy/reduction on the other side) and I asked my dbf to spend Wednesday night with me (even though he never wants to spend the night during the week, I hope he will make an exception because I really don't want to be alone that night). He finally admitted to being a little bit freaked out by my impending body changes -- which is so normal, I'm just glad we could finally talk about it. I promised him I wouldn't flash him right away -- but seriously, between the physical recovery and emotional baggage for both of us, it might be a while before we want to be intimate again. I hope not, but I just don't know. This is new territory....
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Lauren....I don't really think he's gay, but actually very straight. I DO think that he is very restrained- and not just sexually. I'm not used to men like that. I also think that he's afraid of getting involved and of getting hurt...he was pretty messed up when his wife served him divorce papers (almost out of the blue), so he's being very careful. Finally, he's a very kindhearted man and has made it clear that he doesn't want to be hurtful or dishonest. When i put all of that together, I see a wonderful man, but one who might not be for me. So I'll continue to see him but definitely pursue my other options. I'm eager to find someone, but not so eager that I'll settle.
As for you, girl, this has got to be a very scary time for you, no matter how good a decision you've made or how prepared you are. I too hope that your dbf stays with you Wednesday night. It would be a way for you to share an important event and the changes that come with it. I'd advise you to be very clear with him how much it would mean to you.
Yes, new territory is awfully difficult to navigate....
~Marin
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Marin my buddy....
So guys have been trying to get into your pants since you were 13 huh? You must have been a wild child
You crack me up! Nothing wrong with meeting the hot guy who wants to take you for Lebanese food and maybe a ride on the "goodie" train...No mojo-maniac for me - I've decided to stay to single for a little bit longer. When I'm ready for major-mojo I will let you know.
Lorena - I know change can be difficult but sounds like you are able to talk to him about this and that is the first start. Men don't often take to change very well. Hang in there - before you are put to sleep "listen for that little whisper: "we are here with you" and you will know that we are!
We will be thinking about you and holding your hand tightly during the surgery....
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Lauren....Listen to Pepper and think of us being right there with you....because we absolutley will be!
OK, major update on P. here! In my email yesterday am, I said that although I was still confused about the nature of our relationship, I was going with it and seeing what unfolds. This apparently triggered a huge response and he called last night to say that he too was confused and was holding back because I had asked him to take it slowly. Ugh...what was I thinking?!! I got really brave and said I was still trying to wrap my head around the Russian chick thing and went even further to say that I intend to keep dating others in order to find what I want- a committed relationship. I said that I wanted tio find someone who would be crazy about me, and only me (like I said here). And here's what he said....that he wants that too and that he can be crazy about me! Said he realized that the long distance thing can't work and since he hadn't met anyone else, he had been pursuing it. So we talked for quite awhile and when I finally hung up, I thought I'd been transported to freakin' heaven or something! Like how the eff did that all come about? I am totally not used to getting what I want from a man or even having him acknowledge the validity of my expressed wants! We plan to move ahead with this (by way of the bed, for sure!) and see what is created. Can you tell that I'm pretty psyched?????!!!! Forget the Lebanese!
~Marin
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You GO Marin!!!!!!
Im happy to hear all this!!!!! I say pitch the Lebanese and check this out to see where it might lead...
Heck, when I met David I didnt want committed but he's different....cant explain it, he is and whatever this is, its different too....
He has been staying at my place this past week and we have talked about him staying until the mid-to-end of July when this particular part of his job will be done...I just couldnt see that 40 mile round trip drive for either of us if he stayed in a hotel in town....plus its kind of like a trial run....who knows maybe by the end of July we will be sick of each other....although I really dont think that is the case here.....we spent the day together Sunday and since he isnt from the area we went for a drive and discovered several country/farm houses for sale....he asked if he did something like that in about a year if I would consider moving in with him and renting my house out.....kind of took me by surprise so we will talk about something like that later down the line!!!
I remember when I was a kid my grandmother would tell us girls that someday we would grow up and meet a man that would curl our toes......I think at 47 I might be grown up and I also think I might have figured out what she was talking about!!!!!!!
Lorena-we will be right beside you!!!!!! with all of us there things will be just fine.
Jule
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Jules,
David has been staying with you huh....sounds like it is going well. So does David curl your toes???????
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Marin! Sounds wonderful and promising! I could tell you always really liked P, so I'm happy for the recent developments, as I'm sure you are. I guess your honesty paid off for sure. How great that he not only listened to your concerns but responded in an adult manner. No defensiveness or game-playing. Niiiice!
Thank GOD my sister took our visiting family out to see a historical site last weekend. So, I called up bf and said PLEASE hurry over quickly, we have a bit of time before we have to meet them for dinner. lol I won't go into explicit details, but since you asked, I'll just say it was long overdue, and I was greedy enough to go for the butterfly AND the reverse cowgirl. I'm usually not such an over-achiever. LOL
Lorena, you're totally in my thoughts and prayers. Don't worry about the physical intimacy right now, only the emotional kind. Sounds like you have a good start, I think communication is key.
Jule, isn't it funny how things work out? The first posts of yours I read had to do with not wanting a commitment. lol I guess it's one of those, when you least expect it.......
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WTG, Lori, you overachiever you! Can you explain that butterfly again or point me to where you describe it? I'm not sure I recall how it goes and now it looks like it may come in handy
!Jule...I love hearing you tell about what's going on with you & David...you're finally getting the good that you deserve!
~Marin
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Hmmm....I go away for a few days and all hell breaks loose around here!
I'm too jet-lagged to respond to anyone other than Marin, so Marin listen up: Go on your date with the young, hot guy and enjoy some Lebanese food. See 'P' again sometime after that date - you'll know more by then.
JMO.....
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Hi Pepper
Yep, David is staying at my place and OH YA lots of toe curling going on
.....Lori-Way to go girl!!!!!! Im curious about this butterfly stuff???? and yes, I agree about how things work out...I finally commit myself to NOT being committed then look what happens!!!! (not that Im complaining)
Thanks Marin......Im thinking your not following too far behind my trail here....
Jay-see what happens when you leave us unattended and tell us to go BE BAD!!!!!!! hope you had fun in your absense here....
Lorena-you are probably already in surgery this morning, but still want to tell you we are there with you......take care and mind what they tell you once you get home!!!
Jule
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I've officially decided to be a Crazy Cat Lady.
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WR, I'm just officially 'Crazy'!!!
My most recent young man has been in contact with me and we're trying to coordinate our schedules but he's been working a lot and I'm out of town a lot so it's been difficult to connect.
My 'date' for my birthday is my mother.....
I do have a tentative date planned with a guy who lives nearby but I've just about given up on men here in Chicago. I've been flirting more at work (something I NEVER used to do) so perhaps I'll get laid on one of my European layovers. In July I'll be in Milan, Paris and Manchester, England. On international flights I always wear my dress and heels.....
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Alright, mi chicas, ya gotta check out this website. It has a bajillion sex positions and lots of other juicy, informative, stimulating info and ideas:
http://www.sexinfo101.com/sp_arch.shtml
And Lori, please note that your butterfly sounds alot more fun than theirs, although some of their ideas are pretty hot!
So it looks like this weekend will THE FIRST TIME for me and P...I am so excited! AND....his friends asked us to their beach house next week. Of course I said YES!!!! I can't wait to enjoy this amazing man! OMG, all this good stuff happening is overwhelming, but I'm trying to just savor each & every moment and not jinx it all away. Oh, and get this...this beautiful, adorable man tells me that he's been mesmerized by my breasts (in the low cut tops I wear), but has been determined not to stare or ogle because he was concerned that I might be sensitive to such behavior after having BC! Can you freakin' believe it? I mean I'm not averse to his interest in any of my body parts, but I so love his respectful and concerned attitude.
Girls, I think I might be in serious trouble here, ya know?
~Marin
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HUH??? Marin, where DO you find these sites???
I think I've done just about all of them at one time or another but I can honestly say that I've never tried the 'twisted doggie style' position. I'm all for fun and great sex
but if it's too much like work or too weird the why do it??? -
To start, I have to say....I'm not normally big into "positions" or anything forced. Normally with me it's just whatever feels right and kind of happens. But, I had just read about the "butterfly" and the rave reviews in a woman's magazine, right before some action, and since I was already ....well....almost there... the teeny bit of thought and positioning it took was TOTALLY worth it.
So, by popular demand (and not for the faint of heart lol), I'll once again explain the wondeful "butterfly". I'll try to make it very simple, (it really is easier and more natural than it sounds). If you don't quite get it, or need it explained a different way, just pm me. I know when I read it at first, I went..."huh?"
THE BUTTERFLY: For starters this is a WOT (woman on top). The man needs to have his legs together and fairly straight. The woman bends her knees outwards and places the TOP (very important) of her feet on the guys shins (just below his knees). It's very comfy as you just kinda hook your feet on and ride. lol This creates the most amazing friction.
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Marin, I'm jealous! Sounds like your going to have a hot hot weekend. I really don't love dating, but certainly adore the anticipation of that "first time". I'm going to check out your link tomorrow when I'm not too tired to think. "P" just sounds better and better all the time.
Jay... so funny you posted while I was typing. Yeah...I'm not going to do something that hurts just to try a position. But if I find out it makes everything feel better...then I'm all for it. LOL Woohoo on the international mojo, I LOVE accents!
Rose, sorry..it sounds like things aren't going too well for you in the mojo dept. ugh. Maybe you and Pepper need to be on break together? I dunno, sometimes it sure does make life simpler.
Jule, keep on keepin' on!
Lorena, thinking of you lots today. Can't wait to hear from you.
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