Husband wants to stop Tamoxifen

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tammy1964
tammy1964 Member Posts: 10
edited June 2014 in Male Breast Cancer

It' been two months since Donald started his Tamoxifen and the mood swings are getting too much. Being crusty is one thing but the depression is overwhelming. We know it's the pills and he doesnt want to take antidepressants. He knows the cancer will spread if he stops the tamoxifen. We go see the Oncologist in two weeks to see if it's even working. Knowing that we are only at the beginning of our journey and he needs the tamoxifen for five years just makes it harder. Ladies I know you all chuckle and say now men know what we go through but it's not his fault or choice. Were just haveing a bad day.

Comments

  • sschmidt
    sschmidt Member Posts: 178
    edited June 2007

    Would he rather take a chance on his health rather than take antidepressants? I am taking 10mg Paxil and it has made all the difference in depression. Is it the sexual side effects that he is not wanting? There are different types that don't effect the sexuality.

  • tammy1964
    tammy1964 Member Posts: 10
    edited June 2007

    Thanks for your quick response, the tamoxifen took care of his sexual feelings. We think the traumatic stress of it all killed his sex drive too(thank god our relationship will survive that)He doesn't want to take one pill to take care of the other. I will talk to him about the Pixel. I know deep down he doesn't really want to stop the pills, he loves life too much. Thank you for your suport, It is hard being strong for both of us when he is so down.

  • tammy1964
    tammy1964 Member Posts: 10
    edited June 2007

    I just finished looking up side effects on Effexor and Paxil, WOW!!!! Talk about a whole new ball game! I'm afraid for both of us.

  • momto4girls
    momto4girls Member Posts: 93
    edited June 2007

    My onc put me on Effexor for hot flashes. Not only did it help with those, the mood swings went away also. Within 2 weeks, DH said "welcome back wife"

  • LisaAlissa
    LisaAlissa Member Posts: 1,092
    edited June 2007
    Tammy,
    Quote:

    We know it's the pills and he doesnt want to take antidepressants.




    Do you know why he doesn't want to take anti-depressants? Essentially, as you know, tamoxifen has affected his neurochemical balance (along w/ a number of other symptoms).

    If Donald wasn't depressed before he got BC (and started taking Tamoxifen), he shouldn't think of any medication he needs to take as an "anti-depressant" (since it isn't to deal with a primary depression)...rather (in context) it is "side-effect controller." And BTW, be sure to ID all of the adverse side effects he is dealing with...it is possible that his oncologist may be able to balance the effects of the side-effect control medication to control all (or at least several) of the side-effects he is experiencing. I'd like to think that you and Donald don't need to wait out the 5 years before you can be close again...

    HTH,

    LisaAlissa
  • mkl48
    mkl48 Member Posts: 350
    edited June 2007

    He can not take Paxil when on Tamox. It interfers with the metabolism. Beth

  • SandyAust
    SandyAust Member Posts: 393
    edited June 2007
    Hi Tammy,

    I am so sorry that you and your husband Donald are going through this. It is bad enough having cancer, let alone cancer that mainly effects women. Our emotions can be so raw at this time and it must be difficult to be the butt of jokes when you are asking for help.

    A litte about me. I am 39 and was diagnosed with node negative breast cancer 3 years ago. I am taking tamoxifen. My mother also had breast cancer 14 years ago. Unfortunately she just passed away from melanoma. I think this is why I am on this forum as I am worried about my sons given the family history.

    In answer to your question yes I think tamoxifen does affect you mentally. I don't feel as sharp as I used to. However I also think stress, PTSD and depression would also lead to difficulty in making decisions. Yes Paxil does not mix well with breast cancer but other anti-depressants do. I personally take Celexa.

    I so sorry you were both having a bad day. Although it is perfectly understandable.

    Take care. I am thinking of you both.

    Sandy
  • Peter
    Peter Member Posts: 343
    edited June 2007

    Post deleted by Peterj

  • badbabe56
    badbabe56 Member Posts: 46
    edited June 2007

    whether it be male or female side effects can be horrid. It was suggested I went on effexor and I too researched it, I did not like the side effects but I had to do something re the mood swings and night sweats, effexor has worked for me, and it is obvious when I forget to take it. I wish Donald well, life with bc just vacumns as our darling gary would say lol, peter seeing the koala made me homesick. Hugs to everyone suffering xoxoxoxo

  • betsy43
    betsy43 Member Posts: 78
    edited June 2007
    Tammi,

    As I just started my Tamoxofen yesterday, just wanted to touch base and send my best wishes to Donald. It is hard
    for women with breast cancer, but it must be even harder for men. Please tell him that anti-depressants can be a real boost for different health problems and as such should not be shyed away from. If he was suffering from diabetes, for instance, he shouldn't refuse insulin. The Tamoxofen can alter many things in his system. I don't know how my taking it will affect me with SE's but if I
    get bad reactions there are medicines for that and I will
    relie on them. Please tell Donald to HANG IN THERE, you will both be in my prayers. Please keep us posted. We care.

    Hugs,
    Betsy43
  • ozzie2
    ozzie2 Member Posts: 1,271
    edited June 2008

    Tammy how about asking the Onc if he can take Arimidex or Aromasin ? no harm in asking, or Femera also..

    good luck

    oz

  • Westie
    Westie Member Posts: 89
    edited June 2008

    Hi, I'm here to say that I have been on 80mg Paxil for 10 years.  It saved my life and took away my depression.  Any se last about a week then go away.  I am on dose dense AC right now, followed by 4 rounds Taxol, then Tamoxofen.  I fully intend to remain on Paxil, unless Dr. advises against.  Than I shall switch to another antidepressant.  Do not fool around with depression.  Untreated, it has a 15% mortality rate.  There is no shame in taking pills for a chemical imbalance, no matter what caused it.  Having cancer is bad enough without beating ourselves up for being depressed.  If this were an illness where people could just 'pull up their socks', they would.  But it isn't and it responds well to medication.  Positive thoughts to you and yours, Tammy. 

  • Larry44
    Larry44 Member Posts: 53
    edited May 2009

    Dear Tammy,

    I've been taking tamoxifen since Dec. 2004. The first couple of months were pretty tough but then the side effects gradually eased. There was no one day when I felt better but I did notice gradual reduction in side effects by the end of the fourth month of taking tamoxifen. I don't like the side effects but I feel I need to continue taking tamoxifen for the recommended 5 years to obtain the reduction in possibility that tamoxifen provides of getting a life threatening recurrence of breast cancer.

    I'm taking tamoxifen as adjuvant therapy which means that is there is no detectable breast cancer in my body but tamoxifen is recommended as a preventative therapy. You say that you are expecting your husband's oncologist to tell him if it is working. I'm assuming that your husband is taking tamoxifen as adjuvant therapy too, in which case there is no way that any doctor could tell you that it is working other than not finding evidence of active breast cancer. If I never have another occurrence of breast cancer, I won't know if that is due to the chemo, the radiation, the tamoxifen or that I would not have had breast cancer again without any of these treatments. I decided to take all recommended treatments to give myself the best possible chance of not having another occurrence of breast cancer which could be a lot harder to treat than the first occurrence.

  • spar2
    spar2 Member Posts: 6,827
    edited July 2008

    Tammy, how are you and your husband doing now?  Has he made his decision or adjusted to the meds?  hugs and good thoughts coming your way

  • bill1951
    bill1951 Member Posts: 24
    edited July 2008

    I first went to the Dr because I was depressed (like I'd sleep for days, didn't give a darn about anything)almost lost my job- that was at the end on April. While I was there getting "Lexapro" for my depression I happened to ask the Dr about the lump on my chest.  The short version is  mamogram,consult with surgeon,lumpectomy and while still in the OR modified radical mastectomy of my right breast. Since then a port in my chest and started chemo 2 weeks ago. I am tripple positive so I get Herceptin every week and the other crap every 3 weeks . Have  had one week of each.

    Tell your husband that the anti-depressant really helped me.

    Bill.S  56 yr old MAN with breast cancer

  • rcknrob53
    rcknrob53 Member Posts: 12
    edited July 2008

    Have him also ask about Faslodex, a drug i was given because I could not handle the other meds. I also have been given effexor but now I am having to get off it.  My dr is weening me off because of the withdrawal.  It is one of the worst to get off of he said.  I think all meds will kill our sex drive and that is what makes it so hard for us. I don't feel like a woman or a anything.  I just feel numb. He needs to see someone and get some new medication.

    Good luck to all of us survivors.

    Robin 

  • Kinclan
    Kinclan Member Posts: 24
    edited September 2008

    I take Tamoxifen plus Lexapro and it is fine.  Please have him try something, it is so hard to deal with his situation and he would be surprised how many people DO take them.

    Good Luck and God Bless

  • Shirlann
    Shirlann Member Posts: 3,302
    edited September 2008

    Well, for me, the anti-depressants were a God given gift.  I don't know what I would have done without them.

    They are not addictive, when you get your confidence back and your feet back under you, they are pretty easy to get off of.  You just have to do it very slllloooowly, so this is not necessarily a lifetime thing.  These drugs are not on the government's substance abuse list.  They do not make you sleepy or dopey.  Be sure that whatever he takes is one of the one's that will not effect his Libido.  He wouldn't like that.  They take from 3 to 6 weeks to work, and just about the time you think nothing is happening, you find yourself humming softly.

    This whole journey is a frickin' nightmare.  I feel, do what God has give us to get throught this thing in one piece, mentally as well as physically. 

    So nothing is lost by trying something, if he doesn't like it, or it doesn't work, then he can get off it.  It does take a little doing to stop it, like half a pill for 2 weeks, 1/4 of a pill for 2 weeks, and so on.  So just trying something that might make such a huge difference to quality of life, seems to me to make good sense.

    Gentle hugs, Shirlann

  • Jo_Ann_K
    Jo_Ann_K Member Posts: 277
    edited September 2008

    I have found that Effexor has killed my sex drive, but it's supposed to be helpful with Tamoxifen as an adjunct to the ER+/PR+ receptors.

  • Sirfin1
    Sirfin1 Member Posts: 4
    edited March 2009

    I have heard many negative comments about Tomoxifin, I go to my Onc today to discuss options for my surgery. I am leaning towards masectomy and be done with it. Would anyone like to share their opinion, would you change your decision for the type of surgery you elected to have.

  • mom_of_2
    mom_of_2 Member Posts: 347
    edited March 2009

    Sirfin1

    Please check with your oncologist and see if mastectomy changes whether or not you need tamoxifen. I had a bilateral mastectomy (right side cancer, left side healthy) and started my 5 year course of tamoxifen 2 weeks post op. So far 2.5 months later side effects are nothing. A few warm flashes at night but nothing that would stop me from taking it.

    I would not change my surgical decision. I am certain that the bi lat was the best choice for me. 

    Good luck with your decision.

    Kris 

  • Stevepoll
    Stevepoll Member Posts: 1
    edited April 2009

    I am a male bc survivor/thriver.  The diagnosis was shocking, devastating and all of that.  And then it was time to deal with it.  Mastectomy--no spreading--no chemo/radiation (I was blessed).  Started Tamoxifen (no side effects--I was warned about all of them and am on the lookout for clotting.)

    I had some "restrictive scarring and it even caused my breathing to be a bit difficult.  Reconstructive surgery--especially when the surgeon said "I can fix that".  During the process I (based on some good info and my own intuition decided to have a second mastectomy for prevention--why not).  This mastectomy was subcutaneous, so I have my nipple left--I guess that's a good thing. The reconstructive surgery was brutal--3 drains, my body looks like a page out of mapquest.  But I can breathe better and there has been improvement.  

    My oncologist has advised me to continue with tamoxifen.  So for now that's OK.  I have also entered into a program of genetic testing because I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THERE IS TO KNOW. 

     Some of us 2000 men/year who get breast cancer just seem to deal with it silently--and that's OK if that's your choice.  I find it helpful to participate in some discussions as it lets me get it out instead of holding it all in.  And possibly I can help someone else. 

  • Deirdre1
    Deirdre1 Member Posts: 1,461
    edited April 2009

    My father, who passed of bc in 2001, dealt with it as you say, stevepoll  in silence.. once the mx took place we didn't really speak of it again except to talk briefly about Tamoxifen.. he thought of it as a "wonder drug" and so did we - he was dx'ed of Stage II (no spread) approx. 14 years before he died.  He had been prescribed Tamoxifen "for the rest of his life" per his oncologist.. but when the rules changed to 5 years he was pulled off of Tamoxifen "in his best interest".  Only a year and 1/5 after being taken off of Tamoxifen the cancer returned at Stage IV.  So again we thought well if they had only left him on Tamoxifen he might still be alive!  But then I did some research, after having a dx of DCIS myself as well as BRCA (negative)..  only to find out that perhaps the Tamoxifen had helped to encourage another cancer and he was being treated as if his cancer was indeed a continuation of the first cancer.. no additional biopsy was done and so they put him on chemo's set up for bc when actually since he had mets on his liver and spine (and other placed) they could have been new, different cancers..  Tamoxifen might actually have been the seed for a new cancer and being on it for almost 12 years might have done him in....  It's so difficult to know and since they didn't do biopsy's we will never really know.. but I don't take Tamoxifen and one of the reasons I decided on a bi-lateral mx was so that I could avoid it as well as radiation therapy..  So much time since his dx and they still know almost nothing about bc and what Tamoxifen does... 

    Dad had no side effects except perhaps a few pounds that he put one and he went from being a very slim man to a bit heavier..  He never complained about hot flashes or any other se - but then he was Irish and they say if you ask an dying Irish man how he's feeling today he'll tell you "great, sure I'm great".. as he did!  I hate this disease, it took my father away and it took my breast away.. I hate this disease....!!!!!

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