half way point

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  • enjoylife
    enjoylife Member Posts: 578
    edited June 2008

    This week I will be at my half way point with the chemo #3 but I am dreading it and becoming so anxious which is silly I already shaved the head and its begining to grow back a little and I kept a diary of how I felt and which days but I didnt know if anyone gets anxious and dreading it worst than the first time I guess I just dont like not having much contol over how I feel for almost a week there. Anyone else going through these feelings???

  • KristyAnn
    KristyAnn Member Posts: 793
    edited June 2008

    I have chemo #4 this week (out of 6 total) and am really struggling emotionally. With number 3 I was almost excited- going to be halfway there- but I am just dreading this Thursday! I think I will rationalize number 5 as only having one left- not sure why the struggle with number 4 but it is definitely there for me!

    Kristy

  • enjoylife
    enjoylife Member Posts: 578
    edited June 2008

    Some one emailed me this morning and put it in prospective we don't like loosing control and we loose control of what is going on with our bodies my # is number 3 and yours is 4 and I think allot of my problem is its summer which I am grateful for but everyone is enjoying their life's and I know what I have coming right before the 4th of July while others are planning vacations etc. I am single and thank god for it at times through this but I know I see people falling in love and living and I am grateful for living but we still have to plan our days and weekends around our treatments and thank you for reminding in fact Friday I will be over half way by a day.... I thought about how I at least have been able to control my work and my babies when they were growing I had a schedule and now its all turned around but it has taught me something too to be more flexible and Friday for you is 3/4 done.....

  • lisa39
    lisa39 Member Posts: 255
    edited June 2008

    I think your feelings are totally normal, Enjoylife. I always get a bit upset and anxious before chemo.  Let's face it...it's an unpleasant experience.  Yeah, it's going to us help beat our cancer, but it's sure no fun.  Who wants to sit there and have somebody pump toxic chemicals into their system?  I always have a little cry while I'm there.  For myself and for the other people in the chemo ward who are suffering and frightened just like me.  But then I pull myself together and try to remember that I'm doing all I can to get well.  It makes me feel a bit better, but I sure will be glad when my treatment is over and life can get back to some kind of normal routine.  BTW... I have done 7 treatments - 4 AC and 3 Taxol... just one more Taxol to go... then 21 rads and will keep on Herceptin till April 2009.

  • enjoylife
    enjoylife Member Posts: 578
    edited June 2008

    Lisa39 it makes it so much better to have this place to come and have people tell you yes I feel the same way, I remeber having my port put in and now I can email them and say yes I felt that too. I have radiation also after my chemo is over at the end of August I have 6.5 weeks of it every day but I dont think it will be as bad as going to chemo I call it ta ta juice. I am going to bake a cake with snow ball cupcakes and say ta ta for now, I also have the hercepetin  for a year into May 09 but that will be ok too. I didnt count up how many radiation treatment there are maybe I shoudnt they said it would take about 15 minutes once your set up. I think our lives will be better than normal we will put our selfs first and do the things we have put off I am 56 years young and I know there are so many little things I want to do ...Good luck your almost done and I am right behind you and hopefully more are getting done along with us and for those who are starting you will get there too ...

    Innocent

  • everydaymatters
    everydaymatters Member Posts: 3
    edited June 2008

    i know exactly how you feel ive just had 3rd chemo, fec treatment. i have been very positive and strong up to now. but like you i was feeling anxious this time. and am coming to dread the time coming around again. even though i know we must focus on each day. i am planning to have one big party when this is over, something to look forward too hey!

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