anyone just go topless (head)?

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pondfrogs
pondfrogs Member Posts: 91
edited June 2014 in Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment
anyone just go topless (head)?
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  • pondfrogs
    pondfrogs Member Posts: 91
    edited June 2008

    hi,

    I have been wearing hats to cover my bald head (wigs too scratchy/ don't feel myself with them on and can't tie a good scarf for the life of me) but I'm getting tired of them. I don't wear aything at home and feel very comfortable (even when someone comes to the door to visit). but have been wearing hats to the stores/work etc. I'm out and about alot and also I work in a high volume area of health care and so I come in contact with a lot of different people.  I know everyone can tell that I'm bald under these caps anyway and don't mind the stares, so I have been thinking about jsut going topless. anyone else do that and how was the reaction from the strangers/co-workers/friends you encountered?

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  • sem2408
    sem2408 Member Posts: 9
    edited June 2008

    Hi Jen!

    You and I have very similar dx as I am grade 3, ER-/PR-, and HER2 +.  I don't mean to digress from your conversation, but I'd be interested to hear more about your treatment and so forth. I was dx in Feb., so you are a bit ahead of me in this whole process. As for going topless, I work at a school, so I wear a wig to school simply so that I don't have to explain my bald head to 500 kids, but everywhere else I just wear a hat, too.  I feel like at least this way, people know what the deal is.  I felt like I got more stares with the wig because people were trying to figure out why my hair looked so funny.  I do go topless at home, but haven't been brave enough to do it in public. 

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  • Curlylocks
    Curlylocks Member Posts: 1,060
    edited June 2008

    Hey Jen,

    Yes I went topless 1/2 way into my 6 months of chemo, couldnt stand to wear the bandanas anymore and like you thought "well everyone knows I have no hair underneath".  I didnt mind the stares either, it brought awareness to this disease and yes that they too could be affected by it!

    My girlfriend was more stressed that I was in the store one day when someone was staring at me.LOL.

    Kudos to you sister!!

    Michele 

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  • Jo-Anne
    Jo-Anne Member Posts: 41
    edited June 2008

    I'll be starting chemo next Wednesday. It's hot here in Maryland in the summer, and my first instinct is to go without - my daughters thought I should order a wig 'just in case'. In case of what? It's who I will be for this time in my life. I did order a wig, and I have two little hats to cover, but I may decide not to wear one. I guess it will depend on the day and my mood.

    Jo-Anne

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  • Sassa
    Sassa Member Posts: 1,588
    edited June 2008

    Hi Joanne,

    If you decide to go topless, make sure you put sun screen on your head and /or wear a hat.

    Side note: I always got a kick out of the name Ijamsville.  It is a lot better name than Scraggsville where we though about buying a house.

    We ended up in Columbia for 24 years.

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  • pondfrogs
    pondfrogs Member Posts: 91
    edited June 2008

    thanks for all the replies. I find that some people get a little uncomfortable when they see my bald head and tend not to look at me in the face when talking. I understand that and that's probably the main reason why I wear those covers. but like I said I'm really getting tired of covering it so.... I work today and if it's warm (sometimes that air cond gets a bit chilly) I'm jsut taking my hat off Wink people will get used to it.

    hi sem2408, I had a bilt mast feb 1st. started a/c tx's at the end of feb (got 4 tx's-1 every 3 weeks). now I am on taxol for a total of 12 (once a week) along with herceptin. I also am in a study and taking oral tykerb...altho' I had to be taken off the tykerb for a few weeks due to extreme diarrhea/low potassium and wt loss. I'll be going back on it (on a reduced dose) in a little over a week.  how's your tx's?

    jen

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  • Skyrat
    Skyrat Member Posts: 310
    edited June 2008

    I went topless as soon as the weather was warm enough.  While I didn't continue my job, I was out in public quite a bit.  The reactions I got were touching.  The only ones who stared were the kids, which I found kind of funny.  But most of what I got were cancer sisters who came up to give me a hug and tell me how long they've survived and others who did not have cancer, but were so supportive anyway.

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  • lewing
    lewing Member Posts: 1,288
    edited June 2008

    Ditto what skyrat said.  I wear scarves to work, but when I've gone out and about elsewhere uncovered, I've been touched by the kind and supportive comments (and, yes, hugs) I've received from total strangers.

    Of course, there are also those days when you don't want to talk about cancer.  On those days, I wear a cap or scarf.  Even though it's still obvious that I'm a cancer patient, people don't approach me.  I think people perceive a bald bald head as an invitation, of sorts.

    Linda

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  • AlaskaDeb
    AlaskaDeb Member Posts: 2,601
    edited June 2008

    I go bald almost everywhere.  I live in a small town and write for the paper so most people already know about my cancer, so it was not worth "pretending" any more.  I was wearing hats and spending too much time hot and uncomfortable to make other people comfortable.  For me the hardest part was going to church bald, which was really stupid because those are the people that are always there to support me....somehow it just felt disrespectful at firs, but after the first time it was fine. 

    I wear a hat if I am chilly or feel like spicing up and outfit, but only when I feel like it...

    Good luck

    Deb C

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  • LongHornSurvivor
    LongHornSurvivor Member Posts: 52
    edited June 2008

    When I was in chemo treatment, my husband shaved my head and a photographer friend photographed the "ceremony." He made an amazing photo and oil collage that he finished up in front of an audience at an art exhibition.

    I wore my look boldy and I got lots of compliments from people who had no idea that I was "sick." Only two negative comments ever, one from my mother-in-law and one from my principal. Though I did wear hats when I was in the sun. Not having to wash and style my hair gave me time to do other things. :)

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  • Jo-Anne
    Jo-Anne Member Posts: 41
    edited June 2008

    Well I found my way back, couldn't remember where I posted on this site -

    The wig arrived - took it out of the box - tried it on - took it off - put it back in the box - took it to UPS and sent it back. Too hot - looked like Vickie Lawrence as momma! Enough said... had lol anyway.

    Sassa - never heard of Scaggsville - in Maryland? I'll have to look it up. Now Colombia I've heard of even been there!

    Jo-Anne

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  • KKing
    KKing Member Posts: 425
    edited June 2008

    Well, I just shaved my head yesterday.  Was wearing a wig... uncomfortable.   Went to visit my brother and he said just take offf the wig.   I did for awhile but felt weird, so I put my hat on.

    All of you seem so brave to just do it.   Maybe I will get to that point.   For now I have my hat on.

    Karen

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  • CaNatalie
    CaNatalie Member Posts: 70
    edited June 2008

    Another topless one here!

    I went topless when my head was not cold. It is hard to get used to the stares, but all the wonderful cancer survivors that came up to me made it worth it. I also found that when wearing hats that I liked ones that made a statement. My mom bought me one that said "Quiet! Hair Growing!". Most people got a kick out of that!

    Now my hair is growing back and I get new stares.

    Here is cheers to all the "topless" sisters out there!

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  • flash
    flash Member Posts: 1,685
    edited June 2008

    Love the "quiet, hair growing" hat idea.  

    I bought the wigs, scarves etc.  I found I couldn't wear any of them comfortably so I went topless through the winter and early spring.  It was no problem; everyone was great about it.  The only one funny spot was a clerk who glanced over and called me sir; then, he took another look and realized his mistake. It took almost 20 minutes to get the poor kid and his manager to stop apologizing and not be upset concerning his mistake. I just kept telling them I enjoyed being around to be called sir or m'am. Beats the alternative everytime.

    Anybody need 3 unused, ugly scratchy wigs? LOL

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  • pip57
    pip57 Member Posts: 12,401
    edited June 2008

    I found it quite liberating to go 'topless'. I was bald over the summer and started growing my hair back in October. Perfect timing!

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  • TammyLou
    TammyLou Member Posts: 740
    edited June 2008

    Yup.

     Bald as a bowling ball.

    Tammy Lou

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  • pondfrogs
    pondfrogs Member Posts: 91
    edited June 2008

    went to work and had my hat off half of the time (put it on when I got chilly).  got some stares and comments (the usual..you look good) but felt kinda good to just be me. that's what I'm going to do from now on...

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  • easyquilts
    easyquilts Member Posts: 876
    edited June 2008

    I have pure DCIS, so will not be dealing with chemo or hair loss...But...I have to tell you gals who have gone topless that I would hope that if I were in your shoes I would have the courage to do the same thing....I am so smpressed with your...this is me...attitude....Way to go!  You guys made my day.

    Sandy

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  • rock
    rock Member Posts: 1,486
    edited June 2008

    What I call "bald-bald" has a lot to recommend it.  Check out Starting Chemo May 2008 chemo thread for our discussions/experiences/some bald bald avatars.

    Sometimes I catch someone giving me an odd look, I smile, and they smile back.  Aside from one nut-job I encountered named "Choco," it has been FINE.

    But you have to go with works for YOU.

    "Bald-bald":  Because after all, everyone's bald under their hair.

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  • Sassa
    Sassa Member Posts: 1,588
    edited June 2008

    Jo-anne

    Scraggsville is just south of Columbia where Rtes 29 and 216 intersect.

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  • Shirlann
    Shirlann Member Posts: 3,302
    edited June 2008

    Hi guys, just say you are going "Commando", it means without underwear for the kids, but works for our gals too!

    Hugs, Shirlann

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  • deecsw
    deecsw Member Posts: 62
    edited June 2008

    I have worn my wig twice since losing my hair 2 weeks ago. I think it looks too "wiggy," and I prefer to wear one of my many new hats or a sleep cap with a flexible hat on top (looks like I'm wearing a headband underneath). I have to tell you that I am getting some benign reactions but also some pretty extreme reactions, particularly from young girls.

    I stopped in to get breakfast at Panera Bread the other morning and the girl behind the counter just stared and stared, she just couldn't concentrate at all on what I was saying (I was the only one in there), and just looked shellshocked. I smiled a lot and told her that as long as I have a smile on my face, then she should too because life is beautiful (or something like that). It seemed to put her at ease (for about a second, LOL).

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