Anyone starting Chemo in August 07?

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  • lilith
    lilith Member Posts: 543
    edited June 2008

    DeAnn, thanks!!! I am not sure about the way the hair is growing - all over and in all directions. But - any hair is GOOD hair, so I am loving every minute of it.

    Doing fine and dandy. Boyfriend told me that my new foobies feel quite nice and natural (nice to get perspective, I though...), not at all like "strippers silicones" he had chances to feel at some stag nights in his life (hey, don't blame me... I am just reporting here). Anyway, I thought the comment was quite a kick :)) I don't plan to question him further!!!!

    June, it is really nice to read your post. Of course you are right... and I think I will make a splash of my cancerversary. Actually, I will be travelling... :) my DX was on July, 6h... I'll be travelling from NY to CA to meet my darling's family. :)) so I guess for me, it will be busy and I hope happy. I'll try to clock in extra cuddles for the event...

  • katoMato
    katoMato Member Posts: 645
    edited June 2008

    June, June, June!!! Didja have to wait for the MONTH of June to check in????

    It was so good to hear from you!!! - i was wondering if you'd abandoned us. Or just gone on your OWN hedgehog adventure without us.

    Lilith - your BF sounds pretty funny. And vulnerable. (He actually confessed to you his tactile .... "wanderings"...? Keep 'im. And ask NO MORE QUESTIONS. Blow a kiss over to Southern Calif when you're here. Nash and I'll catch it.

    All is well in katoMatoland. My ds (who was on The Black List in April) came over and cooked a KILLER dinner for his dad, grandfather and uncle (and all attached familial personell) for Father's Day. He's really been quite civilized since re-joining the human race. (They DO grow up, they DO, they DO!!)

    Kim, if you're out there, know that we love you. I'm still praying for you. Check your email.

    DeAnn - I am now to be known as The Smoothie Queenie #2. (after you, of course.) I put broccoli and parsley and carrots and all kinds of nasty stuff in that blender and love drinking every drop. I just wish i could figure out how to do garlic...it's SO good for you. Today I put papaya AND IT'S PEEL in - then halfway through i looked up papaya peel and found out they put pesticides and miserable stuff on it so it won't rot on its way to the store - and nearly hurled the entire thing all over my keyboard. YeeeeaaaaccchhhhhHHH. So much for hipster-ism. I'm pretty sure hip urbanites don't barf smoothies all over their cubicles.

    So i had a piece of left over lemon cake to make me feel better. If i'm going to poison myself, i'm EATING CAKE FIRST.

    love and big hugs to you girls.

  • DGHoff
    DGHoff Member Posts: 624
    edited June 2008

    Hey there smoothie queen. I haven't done garlic in my smoothies yet, but once tomatoes come into season here in Minnesota I plan to kick that into the plan. Sort of a gazpacho kind of thing. Otherwise I think the garlic might be overpowering. Nice call on the parsley. It is super good for you, unlike payapa peel (who knew?).  What kind of blender do you have, Kaye? I fear I am going to do mine in with all my smoothie making. Plus it is louder than a box of rocks tumbling down the stairs.

    DeAnn  

  • Monkeygirl61
    Monkeygirl61 Member Posts: 49
    edited June 2008

    Hi Girls,

    I feel guilty because I have not been keeping up with everyone and now I've logged on because I need your help.  My problem is so small compared to others, especially Kim, but here goes.  I was taking effexor to help with the hot flashes.  I forgot to mail my prescription in, then I ran out, since I didn't think it was helping I just decided not to keep taking it.  Well apparently I'm going through drug withdrawl, dizzy, vomitting, headache, fighting tears back.  My onc's office confirmed that this was probably why I 'm feeling so bad but no suggestions for help.  I told the nurse if withdrawl was this bad I didn't want to take it again.  I guess it was helping with the hot flashes because for the past 2 days they have been 100 times worse.  So last night I didn't take the Tamoxifen.  I was going to talk to the onc about it first but I really think I'm done with it.  I don't think the side effects are worth the benefits.  Has anyone decided to not take Tamoxifen or stopped taking it?

  • Monkeygirl61
    Monkeygirl61 Member Posts: 49
    edited June 2008

    I really need to change my pic.  I do have hair now and I lost my dog daughter on Dec. 18.  Okay now I'm crying.

  • Harley44
    Harley44 Member Posts: 5,446
    edited June 2008

    {TAMI}  Sending {HUGS} your way!  I'm so sorry that you are having so much trouble with the HOT FLASHES and the withdrawal from the Effexor!

    So sorry to hear about your loss... our furry babies have such a place in our hearts and our lives, it HURTS SO BAD when we lose them!!  Thinking of you, and praying that your happy memories of your baby will comfort you.  Remember, she is waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. 

    I am still taking Tamoxifen, but in February, I stopped taking Effexor, and I had a MAJOR MELTDOWN!!   Oh, I had this crying jag that wouldn't stop!  I went to Wal-Mart, and couldn't even remember what I was there for...  I left the store, got in my car and started driving home.  I started crying, and couldn't stop! 

    So, I've been off Effexor since the end of Feb., and three and a half months later, I'm doing ok, I guess.  I've been having trouble with depression, but I think it is the Tamoxifen causing that. 

    I'm still plodding along, and still taking Tamoxifen, and the terrible depression I was feeling last month (at the end of May, it got really bad!) seems to be subsiding.  I am noticing more 'bright' spots in my days, and maybe I am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. 

    When things were at the lowest, I honestly couldn't imagine continuing the Tamoxifen.  And back in Feb., when I stopped taking the Effexor, I was getting MEGA HOT FLASHES, not just at night, but all the time, it seemed. 

    Just wanted to let you know that I understand where you are coming from, because I told my primary care dr. the same thing... No thanks, I can't stand the Effexor withdrawal, so I'll just try to deal with this depression without drugs!  My dr. was sympathetic... he said, "You aren't supposed to stop taking anti depressants..."

    My onc is the one who told me to go off Effexor, since it is a 'weak inhibitor' of Tamoxifen, so I figured why take something that could interfere with the Tamoxifen, and my onc office didn't suggest any other anti depressant to help with this terrible depression I've been having. 

    Maybe your dr. could suggest something else for the hot flashes?  My onc suggested Neurontin, but I didn't want to take it, since I am sure there could be se's from that as well.  Lots of other women who post here say that they take Neurontin, and it helps them tremendously with the hot flashes.   Just a thought...   I just hate to think that you can't take Tamoxifen, because of it's powers to help prevent a recurrence...  But I certainly understand if you decide to stop taking it.

    If it helps any, my hot flashes have gotten LOTS better, and I think I am really starting to feel better.  I'm starting to try to put myself back together. 

    Sorry for rambling!  I know how terrible Effexor withdrawal can be! 

    HUGS,

    Harley

    PS If you would like to pm me, maybe I could be a shoulder for you if those hot flashes and the depression get  bad.  I don't know how long it takes for the effects of tamoxifen to lessen, when you stop taking it. 

  • wackyjackie
    wackyjackie Member Posts: 669
    edited June 2008

    Tami,

    So sorry you are going through all this.  I can't help with the effexor meltdown but I had to go off tamoxifen back in April because I had surgery.  I have to say the truth...I felt much better and I lost about 8 lbs.  But...I went back on it 2 weeks after surgery because I am afraid not to take it.  The hot flashes are terrible but I'd rather live with those than the thought of getting a recurrence.  Everyone is different but please don't jump into anything drastic. 

    You stopped effexor, that's one thing.  Why not drop one medicine at a time.  Don't just stop the tamoxifen when you might not be thinking straight.  Give it some time without the effexor.  It's just an idea.

    I pray for you and your strength.  It is great to hear from you again!!

    Hugs, Jackie

  • nash
    nash Member Posts: 2,600
    edited June 2008

    Hi, Tami--sorry about your dog. Frown I agree with the girls--just try Tamoxifen for alone for a few months and see how it goes. I had horrid se's with Tamoxifen at first and switched to taking it at night, and that helped. The se's have settled down over time, as well. You could also try splitting the dose in half--10 mg 2x a day. I'd try those approaches before abondoning it altogether.

    Harley--glad you're starting to feel a bit better. 

  • Monkeygirl61
    Monkeygirl61 Member Posts: 49
    edited June 2008

    Thanks for all the kind words and concern.  Looks like I'm out-numbered on the Tamoxifen, including my dh and a local bc sister.  So I took it tonight and will try to hold off making any decisions until I see my onc in August.  I pulled out a paper my onc had given me before chemo started, with the tamoxifen my chances of being cancer free for 10 yrs is 86% without it's 69%.  I really think 69% and no side effects is an okay deal. I did have a major crying spell tonight, that plus your messages have me feeling better.  Tonight was the only time I really cried ( a real cry not just a few tears) about bc.  I just feel like it should all be over by now and I've dealt with enough but I guess it's never really over for us.

    Harley I really needed your "rambling".  Please ramble to me anytime.  I think I may have asked you this before but how far are you from Kitty Hawk?

    Thanks again everyone for being here.

  • katoMato
    katoMato Member Posts: 645
    edited June 2008

    Hey Tami - I'm glad to see your post - even if you did feel desperate when you were typing it.

    Cast my vote with the others...try different methods (like splitting it up, etc.) And just try one thing at at time. That way you'll know what se's are from what.

    I always thought the aches i feel were from the Arimidex - but now I've got a strong suspicion they're from the CALCIUM...hmmmmmn. I started taking them both together, so who knows. I did not take calcium for 2 days and felt MARKEDLY better, but i'm not going to risk the osteopenia worsening. (At this point. Maybe later, but not now.)  I'm already not taking the Fosomax my onc told me to take. I'm going to load up on calcium, daily, do weight bearing exercises, and take another bone density scan a year from the last one and see if there's a difference. If there's no difference I'll take it. (to add to my confusion, i just read the report that says fosomax-like bone building drugs can help prevent bone mets. Sigh. Maybe i'll need to yield on this one.)

    I'm so sorry about your dog...i'm with ya, sister. (Just yesterday i told DH i wanted to work for Cesar Millan.)

    DeAnn - blender? I just throw everything into a big box with some rocks and throw it down the stairs.

    Kiss

  • Harley44
    Harley44 Member Posts: 5,446
    edited June 2008

    Tami,

    You sound better!  I'm so glad to hear from you! 

    I am not back to being 100%, not by a long shot, but I feel SO MUCH better now, and I feel more positive about my future.  Believe me, I WANTED to stop taking the Tamoxifen, but I kept reminding myself that it was to try to prevent a recurrence, and even though there are NO guarantees, I could never live with myself if I stopped taking it, and then I had a recurrence later.  I would always kick myself for NOT taking it.  That is how I made the chemo decision, because at first I said NO... but I didn't feel good about my choice.  Now, though, when I think about stopping Tamoxifen, I keep reminding myself that the hormone treatment is the most effective tx for us ER+ gals, and that is why I have stuck with it, so far.

    No I don't live near Kitty Hawk.  I live only THREE miles from the NC/SC border, on the far south east coast of NC.  I live about 20 miles from Myrtle Beach, SC.  It's nice, because it's near the beach!  I am from Maryland, though, and we used to drive THREE hours to Ocean City, MD, so we are sort of neighbors.  Cool

    When I saw your post about Effexor, it just jumped out at me, because the same thing happened to me... You sounded JUST like me!!  My primary care dr. seemed sympathetic.  He said "You are not supposed to stop taking anti depressants."  His wife had bc when she was 32, and it's been 24 years, and she is now 56 y.o., and she is doing just fine.  He told me, "You will be fine, and you will have a sex life again."  Now, I never mentioned sex, so I wonder what my previous dr. wrote in my file...

    I found that Effexor didn't help me to sleep at night.  Tamoxifen has caused not only the HOT FLASHES, and depression, but also insomnia.  I just can't sleep much more than 3 or 4 hours a night!

    Just a couple of weeks ago, I was feeling so down, and my dh said that something had to change because he wanted his "old Harley" back.  Trouble is, I don't know who I am anymore, and the old me...well, she's gone...

    I feel like we are in this together, so if you need to talk, just pm me... or maybe I can send you a pm, and if you want, we can exchange phone numbers, if you want to talk 'live'.

    Hugs,

    Harley

  • wackyjackie
    wackyjackie Member Posts: 669
    edited June 2008

    Ladies,

    Harley...I'm so happy that you are helping Tami and feeling a little better.

    To change the subject:  I am very, very, very worried about Kimmie.  I belong to the "Community  Afghan"  thread and have been crocheting squares and mailing them to some wonderful women who sew them together and mail them to our fellow breast cancer sisters who are really in extra need of some love and hugs.  I don't know if any of you are familiar with this thread or not? Well, a while ago I requested that Kimmie get one.  I really feel she deserved it and needed it.  One of the ladies who makes the hugagans(as we call them on the thread) sent one to Kimmie and pm'd me tonite to say it could not be delivered and has to be picked up at the post office and so far no one has picked it up.  I am very scared and worried and am wondering if anyone (Nash??) has heard from her.  Please let me know.  I hope I'm not panicking but I wish she would log on.

    Kimmie, we love you and I hope you are okay.  Please, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Hugs and more hugs,

    Jackie

  • nash
    nash Member Posts: 2,600
    edited June 2008

    I was just thinking about Kim tonight as well, and was going to e-mail Kaye to see if she'd gotten a response from her. I haven't heard from her, and have been increasingly worried, too.

    Kaye--have you heard back from Kim? 

    Jackie--was the package sent with a signature required for delivery? Seems like otherwise it'd just be left on the porch. Can you check with the gal who mailed it and see how it was sent? Sometimes it's hard to get over to the PO and pick stuff up, even when one isn't feeling crappy. 

  • wackyjackie
    wackyjackie Member Posts: 669
    edited June 2008

    Nash,

    The package was delivered on June 7, 2008 and it was left with a note that it could be redelivered.  I remember Kimmie had an appointment for June 4th.  Was that in Texas? Maybe she is still there?  If they try to redeliver and don't hear a response they will return to sender.  I pm'd her and so will the kind lady who made the hugagan and mailed it to her.  Also, she sent it priority mail because I told her Kimmie was not feeling well and needed our love and support.  I sure hope we hear from her soon.

    Hugs, Jackie

  • lilith
    lilith Member Posts: 543
    edited June 2008

    Oh my goodness, I hadn't realized just how long Kim has been missing. :( I was so busy with myself...

    Kimmie, if you read - big hugs to you from me as well. Come back and tell us some news.

  • nash
    nash Member Posts: 2,600
    edited June 2008

    Jackie--Kim was in TX that week. I wonder if she's still there. Ugh. I wish there was some way we could physically check on her.

  • chemomom
    chemomom Member Posts: 171
    edited June 2008

    I was just worrying about Kim last night.  And thinking of her again this morning as I tried to convince myself not to worry. 

    Kimmie, we are all thinking of you and hoping you'll be on soon to let us know how things are.  Sending hugs and good thoughts!!

  • Monkeygirl61
    Monkeygirl61 Member Posts: 49
    edited June 2008

    Did Kim ever say what kind of business she had?  Has anyone tried emailing her? 

  • wackyjackie
    wackyjackie Member Posts: 669
    edited June 2008

    I pm'd her but have not heard back.  I think she had some kind of trash removal business??? I'm not sure.  It's terrible that we can't get in touch with her!!! Maybe she is in Texas and will be on soon.  I hope.

    Hugs to all,

    Jackie

  • katoMato
    katoMato Member Posts: 645
    edited June 2008

    Hi all,

    Yes, DH and I have been concerned about her for quite some time now...I'd tried to email her a week or more ago. I'm not on my computer so i don't have access to my sent emails to have the exact date - but i think it was within the last two weeks...maybe 3? I'd posted here "kimmie, check your email" the day or two after i'd sent it, but right now i can't find that either.

    I emailed her in hopes that even if she was feeling really bad SOMEONE (daughter? husband?) would respond to it, even if they didn't know about us on the board, or how to reach us if they did.

    Her business is a waste recycling business - it was unclear whether or not it was owned by her and her husband or just Kim alone.

    Jackie, the afghan idea was wonderful - i'm so glad you found that and put her on the list. BTW, please check your pm's. I'm sending you something.

    DeAnn - Avocado, parsley, cabbage, carrots, broccoli and a mango. THAT was my yummy smoothie lunch today! 

  • Harley44
    Harley44 Member Posts: 5,446
    edited June 2008

    Did anyone have any info. on WHERE she was going, in TX?  It seems that there is NO way to check on her, and I am also worried. 

    Maybe we need to make a rule that everyone needs to check in at least ONCE a day, unless they state that from  June 1st til June 15th, they will be not be available, but they MUST check in on the 15th, so we don't worry.

    Kimmeee....  please check in, we are so worried!!

    Harley

  • nash
    nash Member Posts: 2,600
    edited June 2008

    Harley, she was going to an appointment at MD Anderson with her onc there. I think she's been getting chemo there, too.

  • Monkeygirl61
    Monkeygirl61 Member Posts: 49
    edited June 2008

    I read some posts and here's the info I found out.  It's MD Anderson and Dr. Christofanilli.  I went to the MD Anderson web site and there is a place to leave a patient a message.  I filled out what I knew and left a message for her to sign in, but without a last name I don't have much hope.  If anyone has more info (like a last name) please try to leave a message.  I also read she yurned 40 the end of May (there's a place to fill in birthdate).

  • wackyjackie
    wackyjackie Member Posts: 669
    edited June 2008

    Tami,

    That was great.  I went on the site and left a message because I had her last name from trying to mail the afghan.  Let's hope we hear from her now.  Thanks.

    Hugs, Jackie

  • Harley44
    Harley44 Member Posts: 5,446
    edited June 2008

    that is good to know... I am sure that one of you will hear from Kim soon... 

    It would just be nice, if we knew how long she was going to be there, and unavailable, is all I was saying... so then we won't worry as much, if we knew she would be off the boards for three weeks, we wouldn't worry so much...

    Hope she responds to your messages...

    Harley

  • katoMato
    katoMato Member Posts: 645
    edited June 2008

    Well ladies - here's the story.

    I just got a phone call from Kim's sister in law. Kim never made it to Texas, they had to hospitalize her in VA. It has spread to her liver, and she has numerous tumors in her stomach. She was pretty out of it until they re-hydrated her, but then she recognised her family. They recently had to re-hospitalize her, but she said they were bringing her home tonight, and will do everything they can to keep her comfortable.

    The sister in law is running her business, and taking care of Kimmie's two little kids. She mentioned that it's a huge family, and everyone is supporting her.

    ...I'm looking for the good news in all this, and i guess that must be it...that she's not alone. 

    Jackie, the afghan was returned because no one was there. So it needs to be re-delivered to that same address - someone will be there from now on. Would you somehow arrange that? 

    Now is the time to remind you girls that i love you.

    All of you. 

  • Harley44
    Harley44 Member Posts: 5,446
    edited June 2008

    Oh Kaye, this is just TERRIBLE NEWS!!

    I am so sorry...   Is there an address, so I could maybe send Kim a card, to let her know I'm thinking of her??

    BC SUCKS!!

    Harley

  • chemomom
    chemomom Member Posts: 171
    edited June 2008

    OK, I am trying not to cry here at work.  All we can do is cross our fingers and hope for the best.  You are absolutely right, Harley-- BC SUCKS!!!!!!

    If anyone has an address and last name, I would really like to send a card.  If anyone has it they could pm it to me, or I'll send you my home e-mail or phone number-- whatever.  This sucks.  Where's my Ativan?

  • katoMato
    katoMato Member Posts: 645
    edited June 2008

    Harley & Angie, check your pm's. I'll send the name/address info to you there. If any of you other girls want the info, pm me and I'll send it to you.

  • nash
    nash Member Posts: 2,600
    edited June 2008

    Well, crap.

    I, too, would like to send her a card. 

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