Bra uncomfortable on node biopsy scar
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I'm new to this site and have been reading for hours! So much helpful information here, but haven't found anything about my particular issue.
I had Stage 1 breast cancer in 2000, lumpectomy, sentinel (plus some) node biopsy (all 14 nodes clean), radiation and 5 years of Tamoxifen. The node biopsy incision had to be re-exised in 2001 to determine that the 2 lumps that had formed there were just fat necrosis. I had an excisional biopsy recently for another small suspicious something that was very near the original cancer. This has also been diagnosed as cancer but the full pathology report isn't back yet. Anyway, my surgeon has recommended mastectomy (haven't seen oncologist yet) and I'm trying to decide what will be best for me - reconstruction or not. I have been extremely uncomfortable wearing a bra for the last 7 years since my bra sits right over the node scar and can get pretty painful in and around that whole area and also making my arm achy too. Most of the time at home I'm either braless or slip my arm out of the strap on that side to relieve the discomfort. At this point, I'm strongly leaning toward bilateral mastectomy without reconstruction and would probably go form free at least at home. I'm only maybe a large B, (little bigger on the non cancer side) but breasts are very droopy and elongated. Also have some back issues with osteoarthritis and posture isn't the greatest anymore. I had at first considered reconstruction just so I could go braless all the time and still have breasts, but don't think I want to endure all the procedures to have this done. Any suggestions or ideas on breast forms and bras that might be comfortable for me would be very much appreciated.
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Hi Sher,
There are many options for you. I had a somewhat similar story, as I had lumpectomy, radiation, and SNB. Three years later a new cancer was discovered in the other breast, requiring a mastectomy. At that point, I decided to have a bilateral mastectomy.
I wasn't that interested in reconstruction, but I did look at my options. Implants were a bad idea because of the previous radiation to one side. I didn't have enough tummy for double DIEP. As for Lat Flaps (skin & muscle taken from the back), like you I have posture issues, so I didn't want to compromise my back in any way. I didn't have the particular issues you mentioned with your node scar, but I tend to be sensitive in general, so wanted to avoid painful situations if at all possible and decided not to reconstruct. I've been very happy with my decision.
What I've found about living without reconstruction is that it's a process. Some trial and error is necessary for most women, though a few find a great breast form on the first try. While I still wanted to look good in clothes, comfort was of paramount importance to me, so I made it my mission to find the most comfortable breast forms around. For me, that's a silicone form with a soft microfiber back that I can wear in a regular bra (Airway Tritex Triangular), a leisure form that I wear in Still You camisoles for exercise and everyday wear (Amoena Style 126), and Still You Illusions, a soft form with a "creme" filling, which can be worn in a regular bra.
I've also made it my mission to let other women know that NOT having reconstruction can be a positive alternative to reconstruction--I've created a non-profit website, BreastFree.org. In the Breast Forms section, you'll find links to the three options I mentioned above, plus lots more, including personal stories and photos, many contributed by women I met here. In the Bras and Camisoles section, I include bras that women have found comfortable, since many of us agree that mastectomy bras can be too formidable. Like you, I was a B before my mastectomies. Now I wear either A or B cup forms. Being small is an advantage, as even the silicone forms are light-weight.
There's also a section at BreastFree.org about Going Form-Free and some stories by women who have chosen the option of going without forms.
I hope this helps!
Barbara
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Sher,
I'm one of those bilateral mast people (May 2006) who has mostly gone form free. About 6 months after my surgery I bought forms, but the fitter at my hospital's breast center insisted that I would not look right if I got an A or AA cup, and she would show me nothing smaller than a B. I finally took the smallest B I could get, and it looked all right, but it was just too big to suit me, and it was heavy, and sweaty (even in winter), and the bra was never very comfortable under the arms, though it was better than any other bra I tried. After 4 months I went back to wearing my cotton tank tops under other clothing, because cotton was more comfortable against my bare chest. (I have a bunch in lots of colors.) Anyhow, in the past two months, I have been experimenting with some thin, foam enhancers and some silicon gel enhancers (got the latter at Wal-Mart for $15.95 a pair), which I wear with a cami with a shelf-bra. I wear the cami wrongside out (which puts the seams and elastic outside - much more comfortable) and I just put the enhancers into the shelf. The elastic holds them up, but they do some travel from the outside to the middle. I may do some stitching along the middle to see if that holds them in place better, but I'm still not sure if I really want to have foobs or not. What I like about having them is that they protect my chest from things that poke me when I hug people, seatbelts, and so on. Definitely having smaller is better for me! And definitely using the camisole instead of a bra is MUCH more comfortable for me. I hope this isn't too much info. Barbara's BreastFree.com site is the best place for info, and we all owe her a big debt of gratitude.
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Gap has double-layer, adjustable-strap bralettes. I snip a slit in the middle of one side and whip-stitch around the opening to keep it from stretching or unraveling, then I slip knitty-titties or Amoena 126s into either side of the opening. Both the bra surface and the foob surface are nonslick, so nothing slips too much. When I absolutely have to wear a bra, this is my current solution.
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Nagem,
I tried a foam foob, and the back didn't fit against my chest at all, so I had to return it. I wonder what the back of the Amoena 126 is like. I hate to order something online and have to send it back. I need it to be slightly concave so the edges don't stand out from my ribs! Thanks for any help. I tried crocheting a knitty-titty, but it was a disaster. I am directionally challenged!
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BoobsinaBox,
The Amoena 126 is concave. I love the way it feels in a Still You "tank top" (really a camisole with pockets for forms). I have a pair of 126s in size 3 (with my 34 band size, it fits like an A cup) and a pair in size 4 (fits like a small
. I sometimes wear them directly against my skin in a little Maidenform bralette, but prefer them in the camisole.Thanks for your supportive words about BreastFree. I want to give credit to nagem, who wrote the "Going Form-Free" section for the site.
Regarding using forms as protection, I agree--I feel kind of vulnerable when I go flat (which I really only do at home). Also, I still feel too self-conscious to go flat in public. But it certainly is tempting. Before surgery, my breasts were always a little too big for me to go without a bra-- now, wearing nothing but a soft tank top against my skin feels great!
Barbara
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Barbara,
Thank you so much for the info on the 126 and for BreastFree. I really had intended to write for you, but my life has been hectic ever since my surgery in 2006. I think things are slowing down now, and I am thankful for that. I think I'll try ordering the 126s now that I know about the back, and I'll let you know how it works for me!
Blessings!
Dawn
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Yes, those knitty-titties require a lot of dexterity, even for an experienced knitter! And the truth is I rarely wear any kind of prostheses, since nothing is truly as comfortable as going au naturel. I've gotten over the vulnerability I initially felt about have so little flesh on my chest wall, and the freedom of just going as I am, as well as the sense of acceptance it gives me, is delicious. I really don't think anyone notices my chest. In fact, my teenage daughter encourages me to go without prostheses since she says I actually look better in clothes without the extra bulk. In any case, my initial self-consciousness and physical sensitivity have receded, and I'm sure yours will too. Good luck!
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One more thing: the advantage of the Gap bralettes is that they're essentially like short camisoles. You can adjust the straps to make them longer than an ordinary sports bra (for some reason I like undergarments that cover my lower ribs) but still leave your midriff clear, and they cling (but don't bind), so foam and fluff forms are held securely. Just thought you might like them since camisoles are comfortable for you.
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One more thing: the advantage of the Gap bralettes is that they're essentially like short camisoles. You can adjust the straps to make them longer than an ordinary sports bra (for some reason I like undergarments that cover my lower ribs) but still leave your midriff clear, and they cling (but don't bind), so foam and fluff forms are held securely. Just thought you might like them since camisoles are comfortable for you.
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nagem,
Thanks for the suggestion about the Gap bralette. I'm pretty sure I won't be wearing a bra again, but this sounds like the best of both worlds. Like you, I got past the insecurity of going braless...I've done it for about 20 of the past 26 months, and it was more comfortable is some ways. Unfortunately, I have a small knot of skin on my right scar, and it itches when fabric moves across it...or the shoulder belt. I find that when a foob is constantly in touch, it isn't so sensitive. And I have to say I am a hugger, so I hug a lot of people. You'd be amazed at what some people have on their chests - pens, pencils in pockets, pins for decoration, and some people even just hug too hard. I have a delightful grandson who just really wants to love a little too hard! The other side of this issue that is difficult for me is that I just want to look the same all the time. I HATE going from flat to boobed and from boobed to flat. But I am NOT about to have any more surgery! Besides, I have been in a very public postion ever since the surgery, and pretty much everybody knows I had a bilat. I am more self-conscious about sprouting boobs than I was about being flat (or concave, as I am on the left side)! My husband is very supportive of whatever I decide, but I think he just wishes I could make a decision and stick with it. I do too. this place has been a Godsend to me, as I explore my own wishes and needs and other people's solutions. Thanks to all of you!
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That's funny. I too am self-conscious about shape-shifting. That's why mostly I just go without. Wonder if something can be done about the skin knot? A little snip probably wouldn't hurt since there are no nerves there now? Might be worth the minor surgery to give you comfort ever after?
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nagem,
My replacement surgeon (I had a very bad experience with the first one, so I changed) said it was nerve regeneration that caused the itch, so I figured it might make things worse. Anyhow, I can live with the itch. It's the indecision that gets to me! I'm starting to feel like I've hi-jacked the original topic here. I do appreciate your suggestions. You've given me several things to think about (especially as I lie awake in the wee hours). Shape-shifting. I like that term!
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Dawn,
You haven't hijacked the conversation, you've just taken it in an interesting direction! I'm constantly plagued by indecision, in my case mostly between wearing larger (B cup) and smaller (A cup) forms. And the more I read the posts from those of you who go flat, I'm drawn to that, too. But my normal dress mode is fitted tee shirts (casual and dressy). Since I'm prone to hot flashes, even if I start out with a sweater or jacket over my tee shirt, at some point, I usually take it off, so there's no hiding the flatness in the simple tees I like to wear. I can't believe people wouldn't notice--I'm not concave, but I'm VERY flat. Any suggestions?
Barbara
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BoobsinaBox,
Barbara turned me on to the Amoena 126's, and I love them. They are great for swimming, exercising, and daily wear. I am concave, and so is the form, so I use a "bust cup" behind the form to give a little more projection and it works great.
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Gosh, I'm learning so much both here and on breastfree.org but sometimes feel like my bottom is glued to the chair!
Since I first wrote, I've been to the radiation oncologist who told me that radiation again would be possible. Not to the whole breast, but (can't remember exactly what it's called) just spot radiation, but I'm afraid this would only prolong the inevitable. I don't have the pathology report right here in front of me now, but the recurrence while still small is a more aggressive type of a cancer. And while my skin tone is good now, a second radiation, even just to the spot, would probably affect that and possibly cause future problems. Next a visit to the plastic surgeon to confirm that I do not want reconstruction. And don't think lift or reduction of the healthy breast is an option that would work for me either. Bilateral mastectomy seems to be the most comfortable option in the long run because I wouldn't have to wear a heavy duty type bra and form. With single mastectomy the form weight should be somewhat near the weight of the remaining breast, right? And this wouldn't do anything to improve the pain and discomfort I get around the lymph node incision when wearing a bra. The camisoles sound really good and maybe later an attachable form.
Now I have another question if it's okay on this same thread? I'm almost 60 years old, only 5'1" tall and quite overweight. I've had 2 abdominal surgeries (epigastric hernia and gall bladder - the old fashioned incision way) and coupled with the excess weight means my midriff is large and lumpy. Do I need to look at things differently because of this? I've looked at the pics of the slim women and think if I looked like that I would most likely never wear a bra and/or form. But with my shape? I'm certainly a creature of comfort and far from being a fashion statement, but I do like to look nice and "blend in" for lack of a better term.
Thanks for your help!
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Sher,
I have had contact with a number of women who discovered they had bc after my bilat. I have tried to use my experience to help others through the maze, and that was one reason I had chosen to go form-free...to show them that there is life after this surgery, and that there are options. Anyhow, three women were fairly large women, all in their late 50s to early 70s (I'm 61 now.), and they each made different choices. One had a bilat (though cancer was only in one breast) and has chosen to go form-free. I saw her recently, and she looked great. I would not have thought about her chest, if I hadn't known. She had on a short-sleeved jacket over a dress. Another chose a lumpectomy, rads, and chemo, and she now looks like nothing ever happened, since her hair came back, but it was a long year. The third just had her unilateral mast in May, and she called me about 10 days after surgery to tell me she was ready to get a prosthesis and get on with her life! (My chest is still sensitive after 2 years, so there are differences in doctors and people!) A fourth friend who has always been skinny, but with great boobs, had a unilateral mast and immediate expanders. She was regretting it for a few months due to pain, but she is now happy with her results. I showed each of them my chest, my bras & forms (after I got them, if they wanted to see) and they each made the best decision for them. You probably won't know for sure how you will look or feel until it is done, but there are different options for foobs, no matter what you decide. My B cup silicone foobs are too heavy for me, and I can't imagine how larger women stand them, but they do. They probably can't imagine how I could go out in public with a flat to concave chest. The truth is most people are more interested in how they look than in how I look, so they don't pay a lot of attention. I have not been in public in a bathing suit except once, and my husband was the only other person in the pool. I usually wear a light jacket, shirt, wrap, or crocheted cotton sweater over a tank top or fitted T-shirt. (Like Barbara, I have hot flashes (have for 14+ years), so there are uncomfortable times, but I survive!) You have options, and you can look just fine, no matter what you decide.
Blessings,
Dawn
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Hi, Barbara!
My suggestions, as a 61 year old sufferer of hot flashes for the past 14 years, include loosely crocheted cotton sweaters, lightweight shawls, and scarves tied in interesting ways to camoflage the chest. I may yet have to learn to post pictures here. These ideas have seen me through some pretty hot summers. Following my bilat, all I could stand on me was tight cotton tanks, because the nerve pain under my arms and on my axillary area and chest was excruciating if anything brushed across those areas. I covered them with light crocheted cotton sweaters, shawls, and scarves. That got me through my first 6 months of flatness! I'm sure some people noticed that I was flatter than average, but no one ever made me feel uncomfortable about it, except my stepdaughter's great niece. As a 3 year old, she commented to me, "I don't think she's a girl." I thought she was referring to my grandson's girlfriend, and I assured her she was a girl. She replied, "No, YOU!" That's when I began trying harder to wear more feminine colors and styles, maybe a ruffle on a blouse over my tank, and so on. Out of the mouths of babes!
Dawn
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