I want to want my husband

Hi Deb in TN

I am also a Debbie in TN. I had a double mast Sept 07 and then chemo beginning Oct 07. I had to work myself up to want to have sex. I wore a camisole to hide my chest and I wore my wig until it came off. LOL. Once I started chemo, I tended to dry out and sex became painful. We went about 5 months without and now it is still not regular. I had gained 25 lbs from the Taxotere and I just did not feel sexy at all. Things are getting better but now I had my expanders put in on 6/10/08 and am still in a lot of pain so I don't even want to think about it.

We cuddle, rub each other's backs, hold hands and find other forms of intimacy. It just takes some time. Get some KY jelly if you are going on chemo. You will need it. My girlfriend who is going through throat cancer is experiencing the same. It's just hard during this time. Our bodies don't feel comfortable, we are in pain, fatigued, and just have general feeing of not feeling well. It passes but soooooo slowly.

One thing I noticed is that I made a decision to do it. I did not really want to, but once I got started, my enthusiasm begin to pick up and I found myself enjoying it. The longest we went was 5 or 6 months. Now we might do it twice a week and then nothing for 2 months. Just give it time. Sometimes we just lay in bed and really talk. We have become much more closer now.

Debbie