life during chemo and BC

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enjoylife
enjoylife Member Posts: 578
edited June 2014 in Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment
life during chemo and BC
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  • enjoylife
    enjoylife Member Posts: 578
    edited June 2008

    I know that this might sound silly to alot of people but before I had this bumpy road since the first part of feb 08 it seems like it has been a very good wake up call for me I love life now and I appreciate allot of things that I never did before I have a positive feeling about everything that comes my way. I dont know if any one else has expieranced this but of course the side effects are still to come I am going to my second chemo and the 5th this week. My heart is open to allot of things it never was before it was like when I was first diagonsed I thought why me why not all the mean people out there but now I never think that way I think I hope no one has to go through it, but if they do hair is leaving each day now and I hate it but I know it will come back prettier and how exciting it will be to watch it come back. I hope someone else is also expierancing this and I have no husband been divorced 4 years after a 32 year marriage but we are better friends than ever. I am so lucky to have been brought to this site if you have to have it this is a good place to hang out and I can tell you I use to be stressed and over loaded all the time and now I just seem to go with the flow. Just wanted to share and this weekend if I shave my head I am going to burry the hair in my flower bed someone told me its great fertilizer never heard of it but its worth a try....

    Maura

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  • Skyrat
    Skyrat Member Posts: 310
    edited June 2008

    Maura - I think all of us touched by this malignancy can appreciate where you're coming from.  I never did ask 'why me' - mainly because I couldn't think of anybody I despised enough to wish it one; so if it wasn't me, who would it be?  It certainly does change one's outlook - I am thankful for each day.  You will get through your treatments, put the side effects behind you, and jump into a new normal.  Interesting about the hair as fertilizer...

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  • jdg1
    jdg1 Member Posts: 608
    edited June 2008

    Same here I never said why me if anything why not me.  I am no different than anyone else out there.  Lots of things happen to all kinds of people around us and we do thank god when it is not us, but one day it could be us.  I tell you when I found out I was really upset, but nothing I could do about it so I learned to deal with it.  Wasn't until after I had surgery which was almost 2 months past diagnosis that I finally started to calm down.  It is a very hard rode but when you are done things will start to look better.

    June

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  • myheidiscrapbooking
    myheidiscrapbooking Member Posts: 245
    edited June 2008

    Hi Maura, I loved what you wrote. I feel the same way! I am presently in chemo and I just told my husband that I feel like I wake up with a smile on my face every day now. I feel so happy to be alive and like you, just appreciate so much MORE.  I thank god everyday for giving me this great life.  Don't you find that the lifestyle also changes? that things don't mean as much? or what people think? I think this did change our lives, wow.

    Heidi

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  • Annabella58
    Annabella58 Member Posts: 2,466
    edited June 2008

    Hi all:

    I am a two timer, and just took the new occurrence as "oh for god's sake, could they not have gotten it the first time already?"  Very weirdly.  But I just wanted to get on with it and get done with it.

    I felt resentful, too.

    Now I too, feel the same way as you guys.  Am much more "connected" with life and the fragility and beauty of it. 

    Yes, I also think as well that it's more about helping other people and being kind.  Lifestyle does change, alcohol goes out the window, and you don't care...relationships change (and boy do you ever find out who is true blue and who isn't, there is nothing like the "c" word to scare folks off.)  those who stick by you are just gold.  New and wonderful people, like the gals on this board, are a treasure. 

    It's a real eye opener, I hesitate to say "blessing" as I think my family has been thru the wringer on my behalf, which troubles me, as I like to be the "fixer" for others, but it is a strange kind of rejuvenation almost in ones' life.  I would not have chosen to have it, or for anyone else to have it, but since we did, we can cope or we can go into the closet and moan.  But at some point, we have to cope.  As my sister says "you can have all the nervous breakdowns you want, but sooner or later, someone's got to get up and feed the kids and change the cat box."

    I used that alot going thru this.

    xoxo

    annie

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