I can't believe I'm posting this...

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  • Indigoblue
    Indigoblue Member Posts: 274
    edited June 2008

    Hi Twink~

    It's strange...I was thinking about you today, and accidently pushed bc.org, and there you are! 

    Think twink, think Twink, think twink...

    I have had the exact symptoms you are describing; in my case the fatigue, deep aches, joint, muscle, hip, shoulder, chest, hands, feet, legs, began during Radiation Treatment, Oct, 2006.  I questioned the physicians about this overall fatigue and joint/muscle pain, and everyone blamed the other for initiating this "myalgia", as well as skin "yeast infection", the anemia, and I love this one: "your pre-existing conditions before discovering your breast cancer lump".  

    As your hormones, enzymes, proteins, glucose, white and red blood counts fluxuate, so do the aches and pains; they come and go; depending on wellness, emotions, eating, exercise, and how you manage your overall schedule. 

    This continous  fatigue, leg , neck, chest, hip, nerves, and overall physical disfunction and exhaustion lasts sometimes, for weeks.  Then, it's gone, I feel good, and as soon as I neglect my body, it's back to the aches, pain, and exhaustion.  The pre-existing conditions I experiences were (as the Rad's people love to tell us) a walk in the park, a piece of cake, a whole different ball game!  This pain is deep, frightening, and generally swept under the carpet, ignored, forgotten.

    I have some disc problems in my back from a serious accident years ago; realistically speaking, severed nerves due to surgery, allergies to chemotherapy and mysterious surgical mishaps with a broken rib, hematoma, seroma, and the cummulative effects of Radiation incombo with everything else; its no wonder! 

    Eratic blood pressure,  high, low, high, normal...I keep asking the same questions, and reading so many others's responses to the same diagnosis and treatment, so similar.

    I was advised: "You are likely suffering from stress, fatigue, a lack of sleep and rest.".

    Following this (whew) advice, plans are in place for consultations with an entirely new group of physicians and specialists. Something has to change, or at least give me a clue, what is going on? 

    A recent visit with a wonderful Breast Oncologist, and his years of expertise have convinced me to try a new approach in getting well, or at the very least, give it a chance, since I'm feeling worse daily and getting no help, no answers, no medication, and no compassion.

    After I completed treatment, I felt as if I'd stepped through the broken elevator door, and I've been falling since that time.  I hear the echoes of "are you okay?", but continue the fall, and I'm not seeing an airbag or a swimming pool to land in...just dark places with ambiguous tension and a closed doors.

    So, I would suggest getting a second opinion from another group of doctors; you should not be suffering, and the nurses and doctor at my Oncologist's office advised me to get a fresh opinion.  Sometimes finding a new approach to dealing with the aftermath of treatment helps you to see it from a new point of view.  Crawl out of the elevator shaft, and breathe some fresh air.

    I don't know who to believe, really.  Are these side effects temporary, or will they continue as some learn to live with the overall blood, bone, tissue and nerve damage?

    Where have you moved to?   I was wondering what happened to you, and how you were doing after treatment.   Take good care of yourself, and if I find out anything new in the near future (seeing a long list of specialists), I will report any and all pertinent information, promise!

    (((gentle hugs)))

    love,

    IndiSmile

  • Flasparr
    Flasparr Member Posts: 6
    edited June 2008
    I will pray for you.  Understand the check-out for reconfiguring.  Please put yourself first for a few days.  Rest, eat chocolate, let others wait on you, and ASK for help!  You will have decisions to make and need to be clear headed as possible to do it.  PET/CT can show stuff that may look like mets, but are other types of inflammations.  Hugs....
  • Harley44
    Harley44 Member Posts: 5,446
    edited June 2008

    Twink,

    I'll be keeping you in my prayers, and hoping that after further tests, they find that all is clear, and it was just an 'inflammation', and not bc mets...

    Sending you LOTS of positive vibes, and happy Benign thoughts !!

    HUGS
    Harley

    PS  I know you said that you'd be away from the boards for awhile, but if you do check in, please know that I understand, and I'm sending you love from HOT and HUMID North Carolina!!!

  • pennylane
    pennylane Member Posts: 177
    edited June 2008

    simply heartbreaking news....Twink, somehow you have touched so many of us on these boards...I know you are in that dark place again...we are all here for you

  • HollyHopes
    HollyHopes Member Posts: 497
    edited June 2008

    Hi Twink,

    so sorry to hear how miserable you are feeling.  i wonder if some of the aches and pain could be mood related?  i know that i am struggling with depression and a generalized let down feeling these past few months and at times my whole body just seems to hurt...hope all results are 'negative' and that you are feeling better soon...

    love,

    Holly

  • HollyHopes
    HollyHopes Member Posts: 497
    edited June 2008

    Hi Twink,

    so sorry to hear how miserable you are feeling.  i wonder if some of the aches and pain could be mood related?  i know that i am struggling with depression and a generalized let down feeling these past few months and at times my whole body just seems to hurt...hope all results are 'negative' and that you are feeling better soon...

    love,

    Holly

  • LisaSDCA
    LisaSDCA Member Posts: 2,230
    edited June 2008

    Oh, Twink - so awfully sorry to hear about the reading on the PET scan. I can only imagine the 'kicked in the teeth' feeling you must be experiencing. God, there is nothing I can say except I am here for you in anyway I can be.

    Guess there was a good reason you felt so sucky.Frown

    Lisa

  • Boo46
    Boo46 Member Posts: 539
    edited June 2008

    Twink,

    I am so sorry to hear your news. Wish I had the right things to say to give a little comfort. Keeping you in my prayers for an easy effective treatment plan.

    Sue

  • Sadie-Rose
    Sadie-Rose Member Posts: 222
    edited June 2008

    Hi Twink,

    Just thinking about you and wondering how you are doing tonight? 

    Warmly,

    Sadie

  • Negative3Grade3
    Negative3Grade3 Member Posts: 111
    edited June 2008

    My Dear Twink,

    You have been a beacon of hope and endurance for many of us and I just want you to know that I've been thinking of you.  Let us how you feel when you find the time and desire to be back. Love, Christina

  • Traci-----TripNeg
    Traci-----TripNeg Member Posts: 2,298
    edited July 2008

    *****Bump*****

    Hi Twink, I was just wondering how you were doing. I haven't been on very often since my move to Dallas. It's been crazy busy trying to get everything in order and, I've been completely distracted since I found out my f*ing insurance won't follow me to Texas. Still don't know what I'm going to do about that but...whatever, I'll worry about that tomorrow.

    Somebody sent me the cutest pig email and I thought of you!! Wink  So, I just jumped onto the board and wanted to say I hope you are doing o.k.

    Hugs, Traci

  • twink
    twink Member Posts: 1,574
    edited July 2008

    Hey Traci --- Nice to see you here!  I'm doing much better than I was, and thanks for asking.  Tx#4 tomorrow and my platelet count has improved so much that I'll get the Tx without an accompanying transfusion.  Still trying to get my head around this Dx and the TN aspects....not easy.  I hope you settle in well in Dallas (we're still planning to move there over the next couple of months) and that the insurance mess gets straightened out to your benefit.

    ((((Hugs Traci))))

  • Traci-----TripNeg
    Traci-----TripNeg Member Posts: 2,298
    edited July 2008

    I'm so sorry your going through this sh*t again. So sorry. It just sucks. I wish there was something I could do to take it away girl. With all my heart and soul.

    Your moving to Dallas? If I knew that before, I forgot it. Yell Oh girl, I would LOVE to meet you in person! I'm sure you are even more a blast live and in action. I really like it here so far. Although, it sure gets hot here. My car temp has read over 100 numerous days in the past month 1/2 that I have been here and, it's rained twice. Literally.

    Hang in there girl. We are right here beside you when you need us!!!! ((((((hugs)))))))

    Traci

  • Negative3Grade3
    Negative3Grade3 Member Posts: 111
    edited July 2008

    Hi, Twink.

    Thanks for posting because I'm sure I wasn't the only one thinking about you.  I was relieved to hear that you have started your treatment and that your platelets were up.  I think we're getting closer and closer to new and better treatments for TN, so hang in there.  What is your treatment?  How are you doing besides the platelet counts?

     Lots of hugs, Christina

  • EyesOTex
    EyesOTex Member Posts: 194
    edited July 2008

    I know it doesn't help with the heat, but welcome and soon-to-be welcome to Texas, Traci and Twink.  There is a group of at least 8 TNBC ladies in Austin  (+2 in Temple/Belton) who appear to be staging a get-together, possibly in August.  Wish I could be more helpful but I hope all goes smoothly with your move(s), physically and insurance-wise (sounds like maybe not!).

    love

    dana

  • Harley44
    Harley44 Member Posts: 5,446
    edited July 2008

    Twink,

    I just want to let you know that I'm thinking of you, and sending lots of HUGS your way!!  I think that it really sucks that you have to go through this again!!   BC is such a horrible thing! 

    Good luck with your move!

    Love ya, girl

    Harley 

  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited July 2008

    Hi Twink,  I have thought about you often, wondering what was what.  Then suddenly there was a post so I thought I'd come by and say HI.  Big giant HUGS from me, too.  Gitane

  • Traci-----TripNeg
    Traci-----TripNeg Member Posts: 2,298
    edited July 2008

    Dana, thanks for the welcome!!

    *******BUMP*******

    Twink, just thinking about you girl. I hope your doing o.k.

    Hugs, Traci

  • Shirlann
    Shirlann Member Posts: 3,302
    edited July 2008

    Hey Twink, knock this off!  You have been through enough already.  Damn disease. I just hate this.

    Take care of yourself, honey, love, Shirlann 

  • Sadie-Rose
    Sadie-Rose Member Posts: 222
    edited July 2008

    Twink,

    Somehow I missed this whole thread.  I've been thinking about you and wondering how you were doing.  I know this is such difficult news.  Do you have your path yet.  I think Indy's information was very good.  If your energy is up to it, seek more opinions.  I know I got very different information when I was first diagnosed. Even when I picked my oncologist and had started treatments I went to another oncologist for a consultation.  It helped me feel more confident about what we were doing. 

    I think I am late getting back to you--just wanted you to know you were in my thoughts.

    Warmly,

    Sadie

  • snowyday
    snowyday Member Posts: 1,478
    edited July 2008

    Hi twink, I'm sorry your feeling so bad, understand and hate that it's happening to you.  Can you get a bunch of scans done just to check that everything is okay.  I really hate this cancer crap, its just giving and giving and giving.  I'm sorry.

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