Desperately Need Words to Comfort

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mysisterandcousin
mysisterandcousin Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
Desperately Need Words to Comfort
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  • mysisterandcousin
    mysisterandcousin Member Posts: 2
    edited June 2008

    I have a sister and a cousin with breast cancer, both 42.  My sister had surgery last Friday.  I think/hope/pray that she will make a complete recovery.  My cousin has her surgery on June 6th.  It is much more complex.  Both breasts will be removed and her ovaries.  Her mother died from breast cancer 3 years ago.  My cousin does not live close by and I don't know her very well.  I bought a card to send, but want to both comfort and encourage her.   I can't find the words.  Does someone out there have a card or a letter or remember what they heard when they were first diagnosed?  Something, anything, that made them feel a little bit better.  What would you have wanted to hear when you were first diagnosed?  "Think positively" just seems too little.  Thank you for taking the time to help me to help my loved ones. 

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  • May54
    May54 Member Posts: 25
    edited June 2008

    Dear mysisterandcousin,

                         When someone is first facing a serious health crisis, in all honesty there is almost nothing you can say to make it better or make it go away.  No matter how much you love them or want to help you can't take away their immediate fear, or pain or circumstances.

                           In a card to a more distant cousin, I  might write , "you are in my thoughts and prayers".  To your sister,  I would probably say,  "I'm sorry you are going through this and I love you and will be there for you, you are not alone".  Probably the best is what is sincerely in your heart, but keep it simple as your loved ones are trying to process all that is happening and are in shock. 

                           I think anyway you can get across that you love them and care for them and will be there for them as they go through this journey but not overwhelming them with your own emotions and needs.

                         
                           Besides cards, another form of comfort and care might be the more practical help like helping with a meal or errand without them having to ask or request it especially around the times of the surgeries or treatment. 

                            I've also sent simple little presents with a note. Chocolate and tea are always appreciated!

                            
     

                             

                           

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  • jansdaughter
    jansdaughter Member Posts: 265
    edited June 2008

    Mysisterandcousin,  If you want an insight on what to say and what not to say, go to the topic Just Diagnosed and the thread is called "what are some things you WISH people had said or done."  It is an eye opener and I think you will get some really good advice/ideas there.   I'm sorry your sister and cousin have to go through this.  My sister in law is having surgery tomorrow.  I hate c.  Check the thread out.  Dianne

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